mmm...sleeping past my usual bedtime again. *yawn* by right i should just off my comp and go to bed...but somehow, my fingers itch to blog something even though, i really have nothing interesting to blog about. *diong*
just finished writing up notes for Sepsis and Septic Shock. even though i did this topic for my case presentation, somehow i still find it quite hard to understand. was looking at the mechanism i came up with 7 months ago for case pres...and i was baffled how i even managed to get it done. *diong diong* actually...every time i 'revisit' my old assignments/presentations, i cannot remember how i managed to get them done...especially the more 'impressive' ones like health promotion booklet...or systematic review protocol...or my cardio case pres. i look at them, and i just go "FWAH". sounds quite ego hor? but i am not trying to boast of my abilities. i'm just...in awed of how much i can get done when i'm under pressure. (yesh, i believe that's what 'deadlines' are for. there to motivate one into action..or else...........)
ahh....listening to S.H.E.'s 热带雨林. i like this song quite alot...and since i've run out of things to write at 12.14am..shall put the lyrics down...
冷风过境回忆冻结成冰
我的付出全都要不到回音
悔恨就像是绵延不断的丘陵
痛苦全方位的降临。
悲伤入境誓言下落不明
我找不到那些爱过的曾经
你像在寂寞上空盘旋的秃鹰
将我想你啃蚀干净
月色摇晃树影穿梭在热带雨林
你离去的原因从来不说明
你的谎像陷阱我最后才清醒
幸福只是水中的倒影
月色摇晃树影穿梭在热带雨林
悲伤的雨不停全身血泠泠。
那深陷在沼泽我不堪的爱情
是我无能为力的伤心。
just realised that today is the 30th of September. 17 days ago would have marked the 6th month of my singlehood...and 6 months 17 days ago, if i had not made that decision, today would have been the 4.5 year mark.
do i miss him? i'm glad to say...i don't...
do i miss having a boyfriend?to say i don't is lying...but to be totally honest, i dun even think i can see myself with someone right now.
peraps 6 month 17 days of singlehood has finally managed to make me realise that being single, isn't that bad after all...
my elective is about learning how to wait for time to pass by...4 of us in the student's common room. one sleeping on the chair, other 3 just sitting around and talking crap.
ironically, this is the "professional development" elective. i wonder what can kind of professional attributes i am trying to develop here....
i am NOT complaining. last block of the year..and if slacking is the way to finish it, then i am more than happy to slack my way to SWOT vac, thank you very much. in fact, this is why i am so glad i got this elective for my last block. after 5 blocks of problem lists and treatment plans, what's better than finishing off with 2 electives? and what's better than better to finish off with a fun-filled clinical elective and a slack-off non-clinical?
oh no no...i am definitely not complaining.
as it is, i am typing this entry in the comp lab just to buy some time before i head off to ERC and borrow a DVD for my dinner entertainment tonight. life's quite good at the moment...and if i've learnt nothing much in the past 3+ years in this course, at least i've learnt that to feel this 'slack' is a rare blessing that often have serious repercussions. so, gotta enjoy whatever slack i can enjoy now..before the full impact of pre-exam stress hits everyone.
the tension is already building. germ's room is starting to emanate the aura of 'i have too much to study for but i dun have enough time'...tiny rays of 'i am stressed!!!' is starting to shine from esther's balcony...as for myself, the fact that i am writing out notes while watching Aladdin and House yesterday..yesh, i am starting to show signs of 'desperate multi-tasking'.
yes yes, exam-mania is hitting the physios...many are still oblivious to it...some have already succumb to it and stop being responsible for doing work assigned to them (my EBP group wld understand what i mean...).
and chao-slacker Shiyin Gretel Ni is now going to stroll her way to ERC...borrow some show i've watched before so that i can write notes and 'watch' it later today.
and somewhere in between now and dinner, i really have to hit the gym...
oh yesh, my agent emailed me last night that my tickets to europe has been confirmed. *grinz*
10 more days of uni..
1 month and 6 days to end of exam
2 months and 4 days to graduation
2 months and 7 days to home
2 months and 22 days to boarding that plane to Stockholm...
am i excited? ooooooooh yeeeaaahhh.....*winkz*
ironically, this is the "professional development" elective. i wonder what can kind of professional attributes i am trying to develop here....
i am NOT complaining. last block of the year..and if slacking is the way to finish it, then i am more than happy to slack my way to SWOT vac, thank you very much. in fact, this is why i am so glad i got this elective for my last block. after 5 blocks of problem lists and treatment plans, what's better than finishing off with 2 electives? and what's better than better to finish off with a fun-filled clinical elective and a slack-off non-clinical?
oh no no...i am definitely not complaining.
as it is, i am typing this entry in the comp lab just to buy some time before i head off to ERC and borrow a DVD for my dinner entertainment tonight. life's quite good at the moment...and if i've learnt nothing much in the past 3+ years in this course, at least i've learnt that to feel this 'slack' is a rare blessing that often have serious repercussions. so, gotta enjoy whatever slack i can enjoy now..before the full impact of pre-exam stress hits everyone.
the tension is already building. germ's room is starting to emanate the aura of 'i have too much to study for but i dun have enough time'...tiny rays of 'i am stressed!!!' is starting to shine from esther's balcony...as for myself, the fact that i am writing out notes while watching Aladdin and House yesterday..yesh, i am starting to show signs of 'desperate multi-tasking'.
yes yes, exam-mania is hitting the physios...many are still oblivious to it...some have already succumb to it and stop being responsible for doing work assigned to them (my EBP group wld understand what i mean...).
and chao-slacker Shiyin Gretel Ni is now going to stroll her way to ERC...borrow some show i've watched before so that i can write notes and 'watch' it later today.
and somewhere in between now and dinner, i really have to hit the gym...
oh yesh, my agent emailed me last night that my tickets to europe has been confirmed. *grinz*
10 more days of uni..
1 month and 6 days to end of exam
2 months and 4 days to graduation
2 months and 7 days to home
2 months and 22 days to boarding that plane to Stockholm...
am i excited? ooooooooh yeeeaaahhh.....*winkz*
i am tired. and i have no idea why...definitely had enough sleep...although i did sleep over an hour past my usual bedtime last night. didn't do anything really strenuous today...though i did spend almost 3 hours in front of a comp searching for articles...
maybe it's the lack of exercise...my brain has declining ability to pick up oxygen and nutrients...and the constant staring at comp screens is definitely making my myopia much worse...and also causing the achy feeling in my eyes...
and the headache i had since yesterday is gaining intensity. panadol din even work last night...crap..with any luck, it'd be a tumour...which would explain my tiredness, my brain's inability to function properly...and the never-easing headache. then again, i haven't had unexplained rapid weight loss. on the contrary, i am going through excessive bingeing related weight gain.
crap...
ooohh...i just wanna close my eyes and rest...right now, i am typing this bit with my eyes closed...and it feels so good, i wanna just keep them closed...studying is so bad for hleath...i think it should be bannde...along with cigarettes ...
hmm..not bad..only spelt 2 words wrongly when i type with my eyes closed...
argh...i feel terrible...can i just curl up under my quilt and go to sleep?
no...because 'sepsis and shock' awaits my attention to be translated into understandable languageg that i can read and remember for exams.
and no, because i am still waiting for the email from my travel agent whether she managed to get me the flights i want to go to europe...*fingers crossed*...i am always caught in a waiting game...is that what life is all about? just waiting....?
okie, i am starting to not make sense...and my headache score just went from 3/10 to 5/10. *sob*
i am going to sit in my bed and read a trashy novel...and an early night sounds like a fantastic idea to me right now.
maybe it's the lack of exercise...my brain has declining ability to pick up oxygen and nutrients...and the constant staring at comp screens is definitely making my myopia much worse...and also causing the achy feeling in my eyes...
and the headache i had since yesterday is gaining intensity. panadol din even work last night...crap..with any luck, it'd be a tumour...which would explain my tiredness, my brain's inability to function properly...and the never-easing headache. then again, i haven't had unexplained rapid weight loss. on the contrary, i am going through excessive bingeing related weight gain.
crap...
ooohh...i just wanna close my eyes and rest...right now, i am typing this bit with my eyes closed...and it feels so good, i wanna just keep them closed...studying is so bad for hleath...i think it should be bannde...along with cigarettes ...
hmm..not bad..only spelt 2 words wrongly when i type with my eyes closed...
argh...i feel terrible...can i just curl up under my quilt and go to sleep?
no...because 'sepsis and shock' awaits my attention to be translated into understandable languageg that i can read and remember for exams.
and no, because i am still waiting for the email from my travel agent whether she managed to get me the flights i want to go to europe...*fingers crossed*...i am always caught in a waiting game...is that what life is all about? just waiting....?
okie, i am starting to not make sense...and my headache score just went from 3/10 to 5/10. *sob*
i am going to sit in my bed and read a trashy novel...and an early night sounds like a fantastic idea to me right now.
on a phone call home yesterday...
(phone ringing...)
Hansen(H):"hello?"
Gretel(G):"hello. gor ah. eh, 好一点了吗?"
H:"uh"
G:"几时回去上班？"
H:"星期四 lor."
G:"啊？爸爸 email 我， 说你 MC到 29/11。"
H:"ah? 没有啦。"
G:"so 没事了啦？"
H:"uh."
H+G:"......"
G:" 爸爸在吗？"
H:"不在。"
G:"妈妈？"
H:"在。" (shouts to mum:"妈！诗音打来了！"
[back ground, mum replies:"哎呀。我在晒衣服。你跟她讲多一下。"
H:"我没有东西讲了。"
mum approaching phone and saying loudly:"自己的妹妹都没有话讲。没有用。"]
mum picks up phone:"hello. eh, 什么事？"
i personally find the above "conversation" sad and funny at the same time...
sad because my brother and i seem to have nothing to talk about...since we were kids.
funny because my brother is always keen to pass the phone to mum/dad so that he dun have to talk to me anymore.
germ says her brother is like that too. and i wonder how many peoples' brothers are like. hmmm...
though i must admit it's not purely my brother's unwillingness talk to me...i run out of things to say to him as well...so in a way, my mum's 没有用 is referring to both my brother and i. perhaps when we were kids, we had more verbal communication than right now. the times my brother becomes verbal are when 1) he is playing computor game and is either winning or losing, 2) playing mahjong, 3) fixing up the computor and 4) trying to teach me physics and i just don't get it. at least that's what i observe. i'm sure he got alot more to talk to his friends about than with his baby sister.
nonetheless, the above phone conversation was probably one of the longest one i had with my elder brother. pathetic? hopeless?
well...not really. cos perhaps both of us just prefer to 让一切尽在不言中。and in a way, less verbal exchange also means we step on each other's toes less. so there are benefits in that sense.
or maybe i am jus kidding myself. we are just 2 people who have nothing to say to each other.
watever...i know that he's my brother, and i know that i love him...and i know that i want him to be well and healthy...
and deep inside, i know he really cares for me too. so, we don't talk much...but as long as we still understand each other, maybe not talking isn't such a problem after all.
(phone ringing...)
Hansen(H):"hello?"
Gretel(G):"hello. gor ah. eh, 好一点了吗?"
H:"uh"
G:"几时回去上班？"
H:"星期四 lor."
G:"啊？爸爸 email 我， 说你 MC到 29/11。"
H:"ah? 没有啦。"
G:"so 没事了啦？"
H:"uh."
H+G:"......"
G:" 爸爸在吗？"
H:"不在。"
G:"妈妈？"
H:"在。" (shouts to mum:"妈！诗音打来了！"
[back ground, mum replies:"哎呀。我在晒衣服。你跟她讲多一下。"
H:"我没有东西讲了。"
mum approaching phone and saying loudly:"自己的妹妹都没有话讲。没有用。"]
mum picks up phone:"hello. eh, 什么事？"
i personally find the above "conversation" sad and funny at the same time...
sad because my brother and i seem to have nothing to talk about...since we were kids.
funny because my brother is always keen to pass the phone to mum/dad so that he dun have to talk to me anymore.
germ says her brother is like that too. and i wonder how many peoples' brothers are like. hmmm...
though i must admit it's not purely my brother's unwillingness talk to me...i run out of things to say to him as well...so in a way, my mum's 没有用 is referring to both my brother and i. perhaps when we were kids, we had more verbal communication than right now. the times my brother becomes verbal are when 1) he is playing computor game and is either winning or losing, 2) playing mahjong, 3) fixing up the computor and 4) trying to teach me physics and i just don't get it. at least that's what i observe. i'm sure he got alot more to talk to his friends about than with his baby sister.
nonetheless, the above phone conversation was probably one of the longest one i had with my elder brother. pathetic? hopeless?
well...not really. cos perhaps both of us just prefer to 让一切尽在不言中。and in a way, less verbal exchange also means we step on each other's toes less. so there are benefits in that sense.
or maybe i am jus kidding myself. we are just 2 people who have nothing to say to each other.
watever...i know that he's my brother, and i know that i love him...and i know that i want him to be well and healthy...
and deep inside, i know he really cares for me too. so, we don't talk much...but as long as we still understand each other, maybe not talking isn't such a problem after all.
parents can be really strange sometimes. they do things that are for your own good, but still, you can really fustrated at them. argh...parents...
called home yesterday to tell my parents about MOH's reply...somehow, my mum didn't sound too happy when i told her...now i kinda feel bad cos i dunno if she was just jealous or she really don't want me to go. sighz...oh, and did i mention that my brother is not feeling well and was hospitalised over the weekend...yet my parents didn't think it was serious enough to inform their daughter obliviously having fun down in aussie-land. argh...even though iknow that even if they tell me, i cannot fly back to singapore and visit my brother, it's still nice to be kept informed. sometimes...i feel like i've been physically and emotionally isolated by my family since coming to melbourne. just like last year...when my mum was hospitalised and my dad didn't tell me until she got discharged. scared the crap out of me...
and this is probably why i cannot see myself working overseas. not unless my parents come with me, or until they are gone from this world (which by then, i'll probably have other reasons to stay in singapore such as a family of my own). i cannot stand spending each day wondering if i would miss something important happening back home...and if *touchwood* someone passes away or is seriously ill back home, i'll be worried sick and guilty sick away in a foreign land.
sighz...hope my brother is feeling much better..and would completely recover soon. poor guy now has to stay home and do nothing cos he is still weak. then again, he probably needs the break anyway...
to hansen: please rest well and take care of yourself okie? don't let papa mama worry..and don't let your sister worry...Get Well Soon!!
as i said yesterday, my 'floating act' has ended and i've crash-landed back into reality.
and that big grin from yesterday has somehow disappeared into unknown realms...
suddenly, that europe trip seems too far away...and somehow, i keep feeling that my mum really don't want me to go....maybe cos she'd rather i spend time with her in singapore or malaysia...
i'm torn...i dunno what to do...
life is never easy eh? i knew that all along...i just never knew how difficult it is...
called home yesterday to tell my parents about MOH's reply...somehow, my mum didn't sound too happy when i told her...now i kinda feel bad cos i dunno if she was just jealous or she really don't want me to go. sighz...oh, and did i mention that my brother is not feeling well and was hospitalised over the weekend...yet my parents didn't think it was serious enough to inform their daughter obliviously having fun down in aussie-land. argh...even though iknow that even if they tell me, i cannot fly back to singapore and visit my brother, it's still nice to be kept informed. sometimes...i feel like i've been physically and emotionally isolated by my family since coming to melbourne. just like last year...when my mum was hospitalised and my dad didn't tell me until she got discharged. scared the crap out of me...
and this is probably why i cannot see myself working overseas. not unless my parents come with me, or until they are gone from this world (which by then, i'll probably have other reasons to stay in singapore such as a family of my own). i cannot stand spending each day wondering if i would miss something important happening back home...and if *touchwood* someone passes away or is seriously ill back home, i'll be worried sick and guilty sick away in a foreign land.
sighz...hope my brother is feeling much better..and would completely recover soon. poor guy now has to stay home and do nothing cos he is still weak. then again, he probably needs the break anyway...
to hansen: please rest well and take care of yourself okie? don't let papa mama worry..and don't let your sister worry...Get Well Soon!!
as i said yesterday, my 'floating act' has ended and i've crash-landed back into reality.
and that big grin from yesterday has somehow disappeared into unknown realms...
suddenly, that europe trip seems too far away...and somehow, i keep feeling that my mum really don't want me to go....maybe cos she'd rather i spend time with her in singapore or malaysia...
i'm torn...i dunno what to do...
life is never easy eh? i knew that all along...i just never knew how difficult it is...
i've never believed in miracles...never hold my hopes high
i live in pessimism,
and i see hope like a giant soap bubble...
disappearing in the blink of an eye.
yet somehow this time, i wanted it so much
i gently fanned the flames of desire
and lit my hopes aglow into the darkness of the night
i wished for it everyday
i think of it everynight
i waited for that moment to come
when i can raise my hands into the air
and shout with glee
and realise that miracles do exist in real life.
what miracle has happened??
i think most of you would have guessed it..MOH did reply today!!!!!!!
and the first 2 words in the email was "good news!!!"
and it was definitely good news...
cos NHG says my tentative date of starting work is 11 Jan...
which means...
i can go for my trip to europe!!!!!
my face is frozen in a giant grin...
laughter keeps bubbling from within
and suddenly i feel like i am floating on a gentle breeze
with that giant boulder off my shoulder...
life begins to look that little bit brighter...
of course, it won't be long before i crash back into reality
and realised the amount of work i have to complete...
and the amount of stress i have to endure..
still...just for the moment,
i relish in the tranquility of shedding one burden
and in the relief of knowing that the people who have paid for my education
are indeed people after all.
thank you to my parents, who supported my decision to go...
thank you to Mdm Goh, who has helped me so much...
thank you to NHG, for letting me go on my trip...
thank you to wp, who has listened to my woes and maintained a positive outlook for both of us.
and,
thank you to all those who had been there to support me when i was fustrated and demoralised.
i live in pessimism,
and i see hope like a giant soap bubble...
disappearing in the blink of an eye.
yet somehow this time, i wanted it so much
i gently fanned the flames of desire
and lit my hopes aglow into the darkness of the night
i wished for it everyday
i think of it everynight
i waited for that moment to come
when i can raise my hands into the air
and shout with glee
and realise that miracles do exist in real life.
what miracle has happened??
i think most of you would have guessed it..MOH did reply today!!!!!!!
and the first 2 words in the email was "good news!!!"
and it was definitely good news...
cos NHG says my tentative date of starting work is 11 Jan...
which means...
i can go for my trip to europe!!!!!
my face is frozen in a giant grin...
laughter keeps bubbling from within
and suddenly i feel like i am floating on a gentle breeze
with that giant boulder off my shoulder...
life begins to look that little bit brighter...
of course, it won't be long before i crash back into reality
and realised the amount of work i have to complete...
and the amount of stress i have to endure..
still...just for the moment,
i relish in the tranquility of shedding one burden
and in the relief of knowing that the people who have paid for my education
are indeed people after all.
thank you to my parents, who supported my decision to go...
thank you to Mdm Goh, who has helped me so much...
thank you to NHG, for letting me go on my trip...
thank you to wp, who has listened to my woes and maintained a positive outlook for both of us.
and,
thank you to all those who had been there to support me when i was fustrated and demoralised.
if only public transport in melbourne is not so inefficient and expensive...then i can move to boxhill and enjoy the living in an almost-home environment. today's boxhill outing with yivern was so much fun. going to a vegetarian restaurant for the first time...and eating mock-beef that taste like soy, and yummy peanut&mock-fish congee, and fried tofu. yuuummm....
after that, window-shopped around...then off to another shop to eat again. *bwahahahaha* this time, it was a little shop that sells taiwanese cuisine. we had a durian-cake thingie and it has real durian in it. it was YYYUUUUMMMM!!! and then, we ordered 蛋饼油条 even though we have no idea watonearth that is. turns out that it's 油条wrapped in this dough-like thing fried with egg and spring onion. and that was really nice too.
*yawn* i am perpetually sleepy since the late night at karaokae on thurs. hmm...seems like my body is just unable to accomdate late nights nowadays. and my neck is also constantly aching and no matter how much stretching i do, the muscles remain rock hard. *ouchie*
Sep is coming to an end in one week's time. yet another busy weekend coming up...tulip farm and dance performance...and somewhere in october, hopefully karaokae again...and perhaps a cycling trip along st kilda?
tomorrow starts round 3 of waiting for that email to arrive..this time is waiting for NHG to gimme the green/red light. hopefuly...i can receive an email by Friday. all i can do now is to wait...and wait...and wait...
等到花儿都谢了。
等到头发都白了。
等到脖子都长了。
无止尽的等待，不休止的希望，
但愿，换来的是美好的结局，而不是刺骨之痛的绝望。
after that, window-shopped around...then off to another shop to eat again. *bwahahahaha* this time, it was a little shop that sells taiwanese cuisine. we had a durian-cake thingie and it has real durian in it. it was YYYUUUUMMMM!!! and then, we ordered 蛋饼油条 even though we have no idea watonearth that is. turns out that it's 油条wrapped in this dough-like thing fried with egg and spring onion. and that was really nice too.
*yawn* i am perpetually sleepy since the late night at karaokae on thurs. hmm...seems like my body is just unable to accomdate late nights nowadays. and my neck is also constantly aching and no matter how much stretching i do, the muscles remain rock hard. *ouchie*
Sep is coming to an end in one week's time. yet another busy weekend coming up...tulip farm and dance performance...and somewhere in october, hopefully karaokae again...and perhaps a cycling trip along st kilda?
tomorrow starts round 3 of waiting for that email to arrive..this time is waiting for NHG to gimme the green/red light. hopefuly...i can receive an email by Friday. all i can do now is to wait...and wait...and wait...
等到花儿都谢了。
等到头发都白了。
等到脖子都长了。
无止尽的等待，不休止的希望，
但愿，换来的是美好的结局，而不是刺骨之痛的绝望。
听着风的声音，
吹来了久违了的你的消息。
淋着春季的雨，
湿湿的心情跟着雨滴洒落一地。
看着夕阳西下，
微弱的阳光染红了冰冷的脸颊。
尝着甜甜的冰淇淋，
思念也带着甜味溶进了心房里。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a moment of inspiration strikes...and i thought i should capture down my thoughts using this rare 'inspirational' moment to try and use the 5 senses and link it to everyday objects/phenomenons. dunno if i did a good job..i think if i am not this tired, i probably can come up with a better one. *yawn*
time to sleep...
pimple outbreak on my face...too much finger food in 3 days...
gotta drink more green tea to detox...
and need to eat more healthy food
and need to exercise more to lose those extra fats i've consumed in the last 72 hours.
not forgetting need to write out notes for exam preparation...
and need to keep mind and body in good condition for the final dash to the finishing line.
sigh...so many things i need to do...
but so many distractions around me that stop me from doing them...
and the biggest distraction of all...is that part of me that keep waiting...waiting..waiting...
waiting for that 'somebody'...
吹来了久违了的你的消息。
淋着春季的雨，
湿湿的心情跟着雨滴洒落一地。
看着夕阳西下，
微弱的阳光染红了冰冷的脸颊。
尝着甜甜的冰淇淋，
思念也带着甜味溶进了心房里。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a moment of inspiration strikes...and i thought i should capture down my thoughts using this rare 'inspirational' moment to try and use the 5 senses and link it to everyday objects/phenomenons. dunno if i did a good job..i think if i am not this tired, i probably can come up with a better one. *yawn*
time to sleep...
pimple outbreak on my face...too much finger food in 3 days...
gotta drink more green tea to detox...
and need to eat more healthy food
and need to exercise more to lose those extra fats i've consumed in the last 72 hours.
not forgetting need to write out notes for exam preparation...
and need to keep mind and body in good condition for the final dash to the finishing line.
sigh...so many things i need to do...
but so many distractions around me that stop me from doing them...
and the biggest distraction of all...is that part of me that keep waiting...waiting..waiting...
waiting for that 'somebody'...
mmm...i'm bored...
no one online is talking...
part of me wanna just turn off my comp and go sleep...
the other part...is just waiting...for someone???
perhaps...i am not too sure myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
long talk today with ruby...been so long since i've seen her until last night...and been so long since we two sit down and talk. i like the feeling of being able to click with someone...to speak my mind and be understood...to remain silent but not feel uncomfortable...
i always want to blend in with the others. trying so hard to blend in, sometimes i wish i am a non-living thing so i don't have to try anymore. other times, i try so hard, i wonder who am i trying to bluff into thinking that i can be like the others.
i dunno how to dress up....i can't dance...i am no clubber...i can't chatter away like they do and get excited about stuff that they do...i dun shop at the same shops...i like different things...and basically, i am so different from them, i have no idea why i even thought i can try to be like them. who am i kidding man...
so now,i basically just try and avoid group gatherings. i'd rather spend time with someone whom i can share a comfortable silence with...and not be caught in the midst of a crowded room and feel like wanting to hide into a hole. given a choice, i'd very much choose to be in the company of not more than 3 people.
still, social obligations exist. group gatherings are unavoidable...like it or not, i have to make an appearance here and there to keep other people happy. even though i may not be as happy, i guess a little self-sacrifice is warranted every now and then.
well, at least i hope that my appearance does make people happy...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mmm....it's getting cold...
i need to shower...
and after that, i think it's time to rest my aching eyes
JC singing from my comp...a part of me is happy to just sit and listen...
and that other part of me is still silently waiting...
for a 'somebody'...
no one online is talking...
part of me wanna just turn off my comp and go sleep...
the other part...is just waiting...for someone???
perhaps...i am not too sure myself...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
long talk today with ruby...been so long since i've seen her until last night...and been so long since we two sit down and talk. i like the feeling of being able to click with someone...to speak my mind and be understood...to remain silent but not feel uncomfortable...
i always want to blend in with the others. trying so hard to blend in, sometimes i wish i am a non-living thing so i don't have to try anymore. other times, i try so hard, i wonder who am i trying to bluff into thinking that i can be like the others.
i dunno how to dress up....i can't dance...i am no clubber...i can't chatter away like they do and get excited about stuff that they do...i dun shop at the same shops...i like different things...and basically, i am so different from them, i have no idea why i even thought i can try to be like them. who am i kidding man...
so now,i basically just try and avoid group gatherings. i'd rather spend time with someone whom i can share a comfortable silence with...and not be caught in the midst of a crowded room and feel like wanting to hide into a hole. given a choice, i'd very much choose to be in the company of not more than 3 people.
still, social obligations exist. group gatherings are unavoidable...like it or not, i have to make an appearance here and there to keep other people happy. even though i may not be as happy, i guess a little self-sacrifice is warranted every now and then.
well, at least i hope that my appearance does make people happy...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mmm....it's getting cold...
i need to shower...
and after that, i think it's time to rest my aching eyes
JC singing from my comp...a part of me is happy to just sit and listen...
and that other part of me is still silently waiting...
for a 'somebody'...
finally, a letter from my scholarship officer appeared in my Inbox...holding my breath, i click on it and cross all my finger and toes...
"Hi Shiyin,
We noted your request and referred your email to NHG for consideration. According to NHG, they are reviewing it and hopefully would get back to you by early next week"
i have to physically restrain myself from pulling my hair out and screaming at my laptop at 8.23am on a friday morning. the word "HOPEFULLY" never seem to so lacking in hope until this morning. with any luck, i'll receive a reply about a year later...
loosely translated, the above email means...
"Hi troublesome-scholar-who-always-complain-to-me,
yah lah! got your email lah! but i dunno whether can or not, so i pass ur email to my towkay at NHG. i also dunno when they are going to return your email, so don't keep bothering me can or not?"
okay,i am PISSED. though my anger is not directed at my scholarship officer (whom i must sincerely thank for helping me with referring the letter to NHG and taking the time to help cover up NHG's asses by giving me a "hopeful" date of reply. )
and the lack of sleep is making me cranky..as well as some other things that happened that make me wanna SCREAM!!!!! B***** H***!!
argh. well..at least last night's "cheong K" (go to karaokae) was fun...thank you Jacintha for orgainising it..and wishing you a very Happy 21st!!
i wanna sing sing sing...kbox in singapore anyone? *grinz*
"Hi Shiyin,
We noted your request and referred your email to NHG for consideration. According to NHG, they are reviewing it and hopefully would get back to you by early next week"
i have to physically restrain myself from pulling my hair out and screaming at my laptop at 8.23am on a friday morning. the word "HOPEFULLY" never seem to so lacking in hope until this morning. with any luck, i'll receive a reply about a year later...
loosely translated, the above email means...
"Hi troublesome-scholar-who-always-complain-to-me,
yah lah! got your email lah! but i dunno whether can or not, so i pass ur email to my towkay at NHG. i also dunno when they are going to return your email, so don't keep bothering me can or not?"
okay,i am PISSED. though my anger is not directed at my scholarship officer (whom i must sincerely thank for helping me with referring the letter to NHG and taking the time to help cover up NHG's asses by giving me a "hopeful" date of reply. )
and the lack of sleep is making me cranky..as well as some other things that happened that make me wanna SCREAM!!!!! B***** H***!!
argh. well..at least last night's "cheong K" (go to karaokae) was fun...thank you Jacintha for orgainising it..and wishing you a very Happy 21st!!
i wanna sing sing sing...kbox in singapore anyone? *grinz*
my muscles died-ed...why died-ed? cos i went for bodypump..which pretty much killed my muscles..and then silly me went on for bodystep..which killed my dead muscles...so my muscles died-ed - past tense of past tense. my primary school english teacher would probably hit me on the head for my absolutely out-of-this-world english.
heck...
disappointment as the email from MOH still fails to appear in my inbox. more disappointment with myself when i failed to do the abdominal workout. this just shows how flabby i've become. i'm gonna look like a flabby giant next to all those chopstick-lookalikes in singapore. sighz...
elective at physio school is...kinda boring. spent the whole lunch today learning how to play poker. *bwahahaha* it's such a difficult game to win..probably because i am lousy at bluffing. i can never bluff..i always give myself away...hence explaining my obvious dislike for the game Bluff. as for poker..well, it's not just bluffing...need luck too...so i still quite like it. hee...
tomorrow going to lead PBL for 2nd year. quite gan jiong abt it...i am the kind who just sit back and let people talk...but tomorrow, i actually have to facilitate the group. meaning i have to ask people who dunno anything but keep talking to shut up, while asking those quiet ones to talk talk talk. argh..i hated it when i was in PBL and my tutor keep asking me to talk. i mean..i know my stuff..and i dun see the point of letting everyone else know that i know if they are on the right track, yeah? besides, there's always this act-smart people who wanna show off their 'knowledge'...i'd rather diam-diam let them talk, as long as they don't lead the group off track. why must everyone talk? so DUH-UH!!!
okie, that's my grievances from 1st and 2nd year PBL days. best part of PBLs are the food. but it's gonna be a 8 o'clock lesson tomorrow...not much chance of anyone brining in food at that hour.
*ouchie* i am aching..and yet i still have to stay up and do EBP. CRAP!! argh...can't wait for this assignment to be over...
my bed is calling out to me...hopefully i'll be able to crawl into its warmth and comfort in an hour's time.
right..back to EBP...when is this stupid subject going to be done with?!?!!??!!?
heck...
disappointment as the email from MOH still fails to appear in my inbox. more disappointment with myself when i failed to do the abdominal workout. this just shows how flabby i've become. i'm gonna look like a flabby giant next to all those chopstick-lookalikes in singapore. sighz...
elective at physio school is...kinda boring. spent the whole lunch today learning how to play poker. *bwahahaha* it's such a difficult game to win..probably because i am lousy at bluffing. i can never bluff..i always give myself away...hence explaining my obvious dislike for the game Bluff. as for poker..well, it's not just bluffing...need luck too...so i still quite like it. hee...
tomorrow going to lead PBL for 2nd year. quite gan jiong abt it...i am the kind who just sit back and let people talk...but tomorrow, i actually have to facilitate the group. meaning i have to ask people who dunno anything but keep talking to shut up, while asking those quiet ones to talk talk talk. argh..i hated it when i was in PBL and my tutor keep asking me to talk. i mean..i know my stuff..and i dun see the point of letting everyone else know that i know if they are on the right track, yeah? besides, there's always this act-smart people who wanna show off their 'knowledge'...i'd rather diam-diam let them talk, as long as they don't lead the group off track. why must everyone talk? so DUH-UH!!!
okie, that's my grievances from 1st and 2nd year PBL days. best part of PBLs are the food. but it's gonna be a 8 o'clock lesson tomorrow...not much chance of anyone brining in food at that hour.
*ouchie* i am aching..and yet i still have to stay up and do EBP. CRAP!! argh...can't wait for this assignment to be over...
my bed is calling out to me...hopefully i'll be able to crawl into its warmth and comfort in an hour's time.
right..back to EBP...when is this stupid subject going to be done with?!?!!??!!?
as promised..photos taken when joy, lauren and i went to yarra river...
after handing ethics essay, we are all VERY tired...and VERY sick of assigments...and i think the stress of the assignments had burnt some nerves in our brain..hence resulting in...
our sudden insanity to pose for stupid pics such as this...
and this...(dun we look in love?? bwahaha)
and then the short-circuited nerves result in an increase in violent actions...showcased here is joy trying to kick lauren, who is trying to punch joy...
as the unfortunate photographer who was caught unguarded, i was then the victim of lauren's powerful kick...
my anger turns towards joy who kicked lauren...hence decided to take revenge...look how happy i am *evil grin*
as my violent finally becomes under control, i decided to give a shot at trying to pose as a model. unfortunately, i failed miserably...
so i decided to try doing cartwheels to see if some circus would come by and decided that i am a talent and bring me away from the sucky world of assignments...
[note]: i did so many cartwheels for joy to take this photo, it was no joke. ended up with sore muslces the next day..shows how inflexible and weak i am...
seeing that my cartwheels was not attractive enough, decided to try doing handstand...but i guess my round belly scare off anyone silly enough to see me doing such stupid stunts.
and yes, we did return to our normal state of sanity and took this really pretty picture by the Yarra...
after handing ethics essay, we are all VERY tired...and VERY sick of assigments...and i think the stress of the assignments had burnt some nerves in our brain..hence resulting in...
our sudden insanity to pose for stupid pics such as this...
and this...(dun we look in love?? bwahaha)
and then the short-circuited nerves result in an increase in violent actions...showcased here is joy trying to kick lauren, who is trying to punch joy...
as the unfortunate photographer who was caught unguarded, i was then the victim of lauren's powerful kick...
my anger turns towards joy who kicked lauren...hence decided to take revenge...look how happy i am *evil grin*
as my violent finally becomes under control, i decided to give a shot at trying to pose as a model. unfortunately, i failed miserably...
so i decided to try doing cartwheels to see if some circus would come by and decided that i am a talent and bring me away from the sucky world of assignments...
[note]: i did so many cartwheels for joy to take this photo, it was no joke. ended up with sore muslces the next day..shows how inflexible and weak i am...
seeing that my cartwheels was not attractive enough, decided to try doing handstand...but i guess my round belly scare off anyone silly enough to see me doing such stupid stunts.
and yes, we did return to our normal state of sanity and took this really pretty picture by the Yarra...
it's been raining here since last night...
spring is "finally" here i guess...
everywhere looks gloomy...my own little world is gloomy too...
i want to binge..i want chips - shapes, doritos, red rock deli
but throat is getting really sore...as if anyone would care...
falling sick slowly...stress increasing, work piling...i want mummy and my beloved bolster...
looking forward to hols...which remains nowhere in sight...
sent 2nd email to MOH...round 2 of waiting begins...
kbox and bdays coming - i am not excited...
melbourne show on its way - i am not thrilled...
maybe i am losing my sense of humour and fun...or maybe i just don't have any to begin with?
"raindrops keep falling on my head...
but that doesn't mean my eyes would soon be turning red..."
yeah right...*sniffle*
spring is "finally" here i guess...
everywhere looks gloomy...my own little world is gloomy too...
i want to binge..i want chips - shapes, doritos, red rock deli
but throat is getting really sore...as if anyone would care...
falling sick slowly...stress increasing, work piling...i want mummy and my beloved bolster...
looking forward to hols...which remains nowhere in sight...
sent 2nd email to MOH...round 2 of waiting begins...
kbox and bdays coming - i am not excited...
melbourne show on its way - i am not thrilled...
maybe i am losing my sense of humour and fun...or maybe i just don't have any to begin with?
"raindrops keep falling on my head...
but that doesn't mean my eyes would soon be turning red..."
yeah right...*sniffle*
轨迹
怎么隐藏 我的悲伤
失去你的地方
你的发香 散的匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛 的起点
那在终点之前 我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年 你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪 模糊了视线 你会看不见
听着这首歌，我还是有隐隐地伤感。 不是因为我想念他，而是因为这一首歌，唱出了我对爱情的憧憬破灭后， 那种遗憾，无奈与彷徨。
天天都在想着的人，根本不知道我的思念。
天天都不要想的人，却总是钻进我的思绪。
已经有人代替了，为何依旧会记得从前的种种？
该忘的，不是应该都忘了吗？
已经过了6个月的单身生活，难道还是不习惯吗？
昨晚听着杰伦唱着这首歌，我好像回到了当初等，等，等的日子。
等他的来电，来信，留言。
而往往这些等待，都只换来了一夜的哭泣。
如今，时过境迁。
该放了吧。该结束了吧。
不想在为了那样的人牵挂着。
更不想为了那样的人再次掉下眼泪。
为他流的泪，太多太多。
现在，我盼望着那一天，
我可以听着杰伦的《轨迹》，
而不觉得心里的阵阵刺痛。
怎么隐藏 我的悲伤
失去你的地方
你的发香 散的匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛 的起点
那在终点之前 我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年 你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪 模糊了视线 你会看不见
听着这首歌，我还是有隐隐地伤感。 不是因为我想念他，而是因为这一首歌，唱出了我对爱情的憧憬破灭后， 那种遗憾，无奈与彷徨。
天天都在想着的人，根本不知道我的思念。
天天都不要想的人，却总是钻进我的思绪。
已经有人代替了，为何依旧会记得从前的种种？
该忘的，不是应该都忘了吗？
已经过了6个月的单身生活，难道还是不习惯吗？
昨晚听着杰伦唱着这首歌，我好像回到了当初等，等，等的日子。
等他的来电，来信，留言。
而往往这些等待，都只换来了一夜的哭泣。
如今，时过境迁。
该放了吧。该结束了吧。
不想在为了那样的人牵挂着。
更不想为了那样的人再次掉下眼泪。
为他流的泪，太多太多。
现在，我盼望着那一天，
我可以听着杰伦的《轨迹》，
而不觉得心里的阵阵刺痛。
my brother just finished his Alaska trip. and he took some really pretty pics such as these:
This picture reminds me of the scenes from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...
and my brother in his uniform. tsk tsk..his posture are..very very bad. but otherwise i think he looks quite yan dao leh. *smirk*
for the full collection of his photos: http://www.pbase.com/snowparang/alaska&page=1
and wishing everyone who reads this blog 中秋节快乐！！！(Happy Mid Autumn Festival!!)
This picture reminds me of the scenes from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...
and my brother in his uniform. tsk tsk..his posture are..very very bad. but otherwise i think he looks quite yan dao leh. *smirk*
for the full collection of his photos: http://www.pbase.com/snowparang/alaska&page=1
and wishing everyone who reads this blog 中秋节快乐！！！(Happy Mid Autumn Festival!!)
forgot to post pic up yesterday...so post one up today. this is probably the first time peileng and i kick the guys' beloved soccer ball at CS (BBQ #1). gosh..that was like 3 years ago. and the last time i touched a soccer ball was 5 months ago...looking back...time always seemed to have slipped past my fingers...looking ahead, time seems like an endless journey.
had a fantastic night out with Yivern. Dinner was YUMMY - beef hor fun!! then off to crown...had cake and mocha...then watch the famous Crown fire...it's the 2nd time i watched it with her. love the feeling of the heat spreading down from the air above all the way down to my toes. love the sight of the fire ball shooting into the sky and then disappearing into the inky black night. love having someone there with me to enjoy the sight, the warmth...
yet, as i sit here and type this entry, my mind wanders...and as it fleets from one memory to the next, my heart aches. helplessness fills me...loneliness digging its nails into my flesh...reminding me of the many chances i've passed. i regret...though i know regret brings me nowhere...but i do regret...
i should have taken the chance when it came...but i didn't...
i should have let go and took another path...but i didn't...
i should forget and move on...but i didn't...
and as the time passes, as i grapple with my emotions...i start to realise that life is indeed suffering...and it chills me to the bone that when i die, i may have to be reborn into this world...into this realm..and go through all these again.
as i have just said to YH on MSN:
it's one of those days....
whereby the one person i need...
is nowhere around..
and perhaps...even non-existent..
it is at times like this...i cannot remember why i broke up with my ex
and it is at times like this..i miss home alot..
and it is at times like this...i wish i can return to 4.5 years ago and redo everything again..
perhaps one day, i'll be rid of 'one of these days'...i'll not longer have 'at times like this'...
though right now..i have to say...
that i wish i have someone to hold my hands...
and let me know that...
even if the rest of the world think i am useless...
in his eyes...
i am still the girl he loves...
for whoever i was...
for whoever i am...
and for whoever i would be...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
那时，我们也是这样站在那儿，
看着火球染红了夜空，
感觉热气透过过了冰冷的空气，
暖和了你我的心。
那个时候，不知道你在想什么，在想着谁？
而那个时候，我表面上盼着他，
心里，却是不知觉地想着你。
[post note]:
因为失去了机会，
所以我自责，我后悔，我遗憾。
如今，似乎机会重现。
但因为迷失了勇气，
所以我恐慌，我犹豫，我彷徨。
以后，或许因缘都齐了。
也许因为找回了自我，
我就可以再次带着希望上路，
带着笑容面对这个残酷的世界。
ethics essay - over and done...handed in...finito...no more...kosong...
WOOHOO!!!!
had a fantastic afternoon with lauren and joy today. went to Rose Garden for lunch and had yummilicious roast duck noodles and chicken&salted fish fried rice. then walk around in the city...bought at pair of pants for $6 (and it's good quality for-working-kind of pants). then walked to yarra river...talk alot of crap and just enjoying the fact that we only have ONE more assignment for this year. and we took a few extremelyfunnyoutrageous pictures with joy's digicam. would post them up when she pass me the photos.
ahh..i want a digicam too!! my dream digicam is nowhere in sight. sighz...can someone please buy it for me as a bday present?
and i want my graduation bear-bear...can someone buy that for me too? feels wrong to buy my own graduation bear-bear...
feeling kinda sick now...got abit of fever and still recovering from the gastric pains that i had when i came back. being with lauren and joy today is kicking me into i'll-never-find-a-boyfriend mode. and when i am not feeling well, really wish there's a special someone to sayang me right now.
WOOHOO!!!!
had a fantastic afternoon with lauren and joy today. went to Rose Garden for lunch and had yummilicious roast duck noodles and chicken&salted fish fried rice. then walk around in the city...bought at pair of pants for $6 (and it's good quality for-working-kind of pants). then walked to yarra river...talk alot of crap and just enjoying the fact that we only have ONE more assignment for this year. and we took a few extremelyfunnyoutrageous pictures with joy's digicam. would post them up when she pass me the photos.
ahh..i want a digicam too!! my dream digicam is nowhere in sight. sighz...can someone please buy it for me as a bday present?
and i want my graduation bear-bear...can someone buy that for me too? feels wrong to buy my own graduation bear-bear...
feeling kinda sick now...got abit of fever and still recovering from the gastric pains that i had when i came back. being with lauren and joy today is kicking me into i'll-never-find-a-boyfriend mode. and when i am not feeling well, really wish there's a special someone to sayang me right now.
my placement at St Paul's is over and i am sad.
and that's miyuki and i with daniel...
my supervisor (Daniel) wrote comments on my feedback form...and he said that "Gretel would be missed by all"....aaawwww...after feedback today, i felt like crying..and it's different from gerontology (whereby i cried cos my supervisor gave me lousy feedback). i was so touched..and he was such a fun and entertaining supervisor to work with...sigh, why can't all supervisor be like Daniel. it would make a physio student's life SO much happier and easier.
and when the feedback was over, Daniel said "as your supervisor, i think you are a good therapist, and you'll be an asset to wherever you are going to work for. don't let others bully you, because you are good. and as your friend, i can say that you would be missed when you go back to singapore."
*sob sob sob* i am so touched!! his little speech has given me back the confidence i lost during my gerontology block. and this is the first time a supevisor actually consider me as a friend.
i promised Daniel i'll go back to St Paul's after exams to volunteer. now all i have to do is to make sure i can keep my promise...
next block: teaching at school of physio. last block of the year...and all i hope for is that it would be an easy placement.
and that's miyuki and i with daniel...
my supervisor (Daniel) wrote comments on my feedback form...and he said that "Gretel would be missed by all"....aaawwww...after feedback today, i felt like crying..and it's different from gerontology (whereby i cried cos my supervisor gave me lousy feedback). i was so touched..and he was such a fun and entertaining supervisor to work with...sigh, why can't all supervisor be like Daniel. it would make a physio student's life SO much happier and easier.
and when the feedback was over, Daniel said "as your supervisor, i think you are a good therapist, and you'll be an asset to wherever you are going to work for. don't let others bully you, because you are good. and as your friend, i can say that you would be missed when you go back to singapore."
*sob sob sob* i am so touched!! his little speech has given me back the confidence i lost during my gerontology block. and this is the first time a supevisor actually consider me as a friend.
i promised Daniel i'll go back to St Paul's after exams to volunteer. now all i have to do is to make sure i can keep my promise...
next block: teaching at school of physio. last block of the year...and all i hope for is that it would be an easy placement.
i'm depressed and demoralised.
MOH hasn't replied to my email...and while no news can mean good news sometimes...in this case, the longer they take to reply, the less of a chance i have of going to Europe.
dammit.
and my father just emailed me to ask me if he can join me for the tour. *sigh* and i hate having to reject people, worse still when it's my father and i have to say 'no papa, it's not convenient'
i feel like s*** now.
AND, a friend from my NCC days just emailed me to tell me that my encik from secondary one is getting married! of course i am happy for her...wonder who that lucky guy is...and feeling disappointed i can't attend her wedding dinner :(
in a span of less than 15 mins of checking my Hotmail, my brain has processed the following information.
'darn. no email from MOH...why are they taking so long to say yes or no???'
'argh..papa wanna come?? hmm...quite inconvenient leh. how should i put it so that i don't hurt his feelings??'
'sigh. i don't know how papa is gonna feel when he read my rejection mail. besides, most likely i won't get to go anyway. sadness...'
'WAT??? she's getting married?!? argh..i wanna fly back to Singapore NOW!!'
and i guess the last bit just pretty much sums up how i am feeling...
fly me out of here...
fly me away from this gloomy land...
let me sit in the sun and humidity
and not worry about europe or assignments...
last day at St Paul's...adding on to my list of depressive stuff...
life sucks...:"(
MOH hasn't replied to my email...and while no news can mean good news sometimes...in this case, the longer they take to reply, the less of a chance i have of going to Europe.
dammit.
and my father just emailed me to ask me if he can join me for the tour. *sigh* and i hate having to reject people, worse still when it's my father and i have to say 'no papa, it's not convenient'
i feel like s*** now.
AND, a friend from my NCC days just emailed me to tell me that my encik from secondary one is getting married! of course i am happy for her...wonder who that lucky guy is...and feeling disappointed i can't attend her wedding dinner :(
in a span of less than 15 mins of checking my Hotmail, my brain has processed the following information.
'darn. no email from MOH...why are they taking so long to say yes or no???'
'argh..papa wanna come?? hmm...quite inconvenient leh. how should i put it so that i don't hurt his feelings??'
'sigh. i don't know how papa is gonna feel when he read my rejection mail. besides, most likely i won't get to go anyway. sadness...'
'WAT??? she's getting married?!? argh..i wanna fly back to Singapore NOW!!'
and i guess the last bit just pretty much sums up how i am feeling...
fly me out of here...
fly me away from this gloomy land...
let me sit in the sun and humidity
and not worry about europe or assignments...
last day at St Paul's...adding on to my list of depressive stuff...
life sucks...:"(
photo for the day: Nerdy Gretel in first year.
always thought i am a geek...never knew i actually LOOK this nerdy/geeky. *bleah* either my dress sense then was absolutely non-existent...or that i didn't bring enough clothes in first year to dress up abit better...i think this photo was taken in the first week that i was in melbourne. anyway, looking at this pic makes me wonder how much of my geekiness have been lost over the the past few years.
just realised that now that i've said i'm gonna post one pic up per day, i am losing the enthusiasm to do so. hmm...i guess i shouldn't 'promise' anything...just go with the flow of how i am feeling...
right now, i feel like i can fall asleep sitting in front of my lap top typing this entry...
and i feel like if i don't concuss within the next 10mins, i am going be in a real cranky mood.
on a happier note, i've finished downloading Initial D second and third stage! Yipee!! now i am trying to decide if i have space on my comp to download fourth stage...or maybe i should wait till i go back Singapore and buy the vcds/dvds?
okie, i am going to sleep before my brain decides to grab my attention by giving me a headache.
*yawn*
i have no idea why i am so sleepy considering i slept earlier than usual. been trying to start the habit of sleeping before 11.30. cos apparently, according to wing, 11pm - 2 am is beauty sleep. good for skin...and according to yivern's mum, the same time is also the time the liver starts to rest and recover. so if i miss that 3 hours, my skin would be bad and my liver may fail earlier. *gasp*
but last night, i probably concussed at about 10.30pm, and yet, i am feeling exhausted..and i have a throbbing headache..AND, i am getting the jitters for this afternoon's case presentation. *bleaaahh* i hate public speaking. i feel like my tongue is in knots, my stomach is in knots..and i'll start talking at a rate only audible to extraterrestial beings. *sigh*
tomorrow's last day at St Paul's. sigh..good things never last. i really don't mind spending 4 more weeks here doing non-clinical..but already got physio school placement. ah well, who am i to complain. at least i get to end off theyear with the 2 electives.
slowly evolving into my chao4 mugger mode...musc, neuro, cardio, paeds...so much theory, so little time.
my diet is not working...my exercise plan is non-existent...the flabs on my tummy haunts me everyday.
too much worries...too much stress...too little time for relaxation...too few moments of pure indulgence.
dammit. why can't we have one week break between every clinical block?!
i have no idea why i am so sleepy considering i slept earlier than usual. been trying to start the habit of sleeping before 11.30. cos apparently, according to wing, 11pm - 2 am is beauty sleep. good for skin...and according to yivern's mum, the same time is also the time the liver starts to rest and recover. so if i miss that 3 hours, my skin would be bad and my liver may fail earlier. *gasp*
but last night, i probably concussed at about 10.30pm, and yet, i am feeling exhausted..and i have a throbbing headache..AND, i am getting the jitters for this afternoon's case presentation. *bleaaahh* i hate public speaking. i feel like my tongue is in knots, my stomach is in knots..and i'll start talking at a rate only audible to extraterrestial beings. *sigh*
tomorrow's last day at St Paul's. sigh..good things never last. i really don't mind spending 4 more weeks here doing non-clinical..but already got physio school placement. ah well, who am i to complain. at least i get to end off theyear with the 2 electives.
slowly evolving into my chao4 mugger mode...musc, neuro, cardio, paeds...so much theory, so little time.
my diet is not working...my exercise plan is non-existent...the flabs on my tummy haunts me everyday.
too much worries...too much stress...too little time for relaxation...too few moments of pure indulgence.
dammit. why can't we have one week break between every clinical block?!
found this picture while i was browsing through my pic collection from Grampians in 2002
if you are wondering what the heck i am doing, i was doing a wushu pose whereby i actually kick backwards..and peileng was trying to take a pic of me looking really seh. as u can see, the seh bit did not come out cos i was 1) smiling 2) pose was not right and 3) reaching out with one arm cos i was falling. so we tried it again...
ahh..this time round abit better...i did not fall, i smiled less and the pose look abit better. dunno if i can still do this kind of pose. hmmm....
spent the last 20 mins looking through old photos. when i was here in 1st and 2nd year, i use to edit photos with captions before uploading and sharing. as i was reading all these captions, i realised that almost 9 out of 10 of them have "i miss Singapore" or "i am all alone" in them. shows how homesick and lonely i was back then. now...i think i've grown quite used to being by myself...and i've also grown lazy cos i no longer put captions on my pics.
i've decided that from now on, i would post at least one old pic up from my collection...it'll be nice to review all those memories after these years...and it'll also provide me with inspiration to blog. if not ah, i really have no idea wat to say nowdays.
just finished eating one homemade mooncake (by yivern and irene)...yivern says it taste bad, but i actually think it tasted quite good. hmm..maybe cos i dun go for sweet stuff...so i have low expectations.
Mid-autumn festival this sunday...4th year i am not spending it with my family. sigh...sometimes i think studying overseas just means alot of sacrifice from my parents and myself. i wonder if i have children, whether i would be able to let them go overseas and study...
*diong* i think the more important thing for me to worry about is the presentation tomorrow. sigh...i hate public speaking...and second most important thing is the ethics essay due on friday.
the third most important thing is to how to keep myself from burning out before the finish line.
i need a break...and i need it NOW.
if you are wondering what the heck i am doing, i was doing a wushu pose whereby i actually kick backwards..and peileng was trying to take a pic of me looking really seh. as u can see, the seh bit did not come out cos i was 1) smiling 2) pose was not right and 3) reaching out with one arm cos i was falling. so we tried it again...
ahh..this time round abit better...i did not fall, i smiled less and the pose look abit better. dunno if i can still do this kind of pose. hmmm....
spent the last 20 mins looking through old photos. when i was here in 1st and 2nd year, i use to edit photos with captions before uploading and sharing. as i was reading all these captions, i realised that almost 9 out of 10 of them have "i miss Singapore" or "i am all alone" in them. shows how homesick and lonely i was back then. now...i think i've grown quite used to being by myself...and i've also grown lazy cos i no longer put captions on my pics.
i've decided that from now on, i would post at least one old pic up from my collection...it'll be nice to review all those memories after these years...and it'll also provide me with inspiration to blog. if not ah, i really have no idea wat to say nowdays.
just finished eating one homemade mooncake (by yivern and irene)...yivern says it taste bad, but i actually think it tasted quite good. hmm..maybe cos i dun go for sweet stuff...so i have low expectations.
Mid-autumn festival this sunday...4th year i am not spending it with my family. sigh...sometimes i think studying overseas just means alot of sacrifice from my parents and myself. i wonder if i have children, whether i would be able to let them go overseas and study...
*diong* i think the more important thing for me to worry about is the presentation tomorrow. sigh...i hate public speaking...and second most important thing is the ethics essay due on friday.
the third most important thing is to how to keep myself from burning out before the finish line.
i need a break...and i need it NOW.
a trip down memory lane...pictures from my first 2 years in australia...seeing some of them makes me laugh...and seeing some of them make me miss those people in the pics whom i haven't seen for a long long time...
[note]:all the blur pics are from my lousy digicam/webcam..while the good quality ones are from Andrew's Canon Digicam
Trudy, Yie Hui and me in my first apartment in CS (GD05)
Vic Mkt gang 1st sem 2002 in the city at corner Bourke and Swanston
My first housemate Pei Leng and me at Rebel Sports. took this photo while the guys are looking at soccer stuff..
Eugene, Andrew, Pei Leng and I at Chadstone. the first time i went to that gigantic shopping centre..,
Wu Yue Tian picture of Eugene, Andrew, Jeremy, Peileng and I at St Kilda's Beach. i still have that photo on display in my room...
Andrew, Peileng and I in my second apartment (7S11) which i shared with Peileng for 1 semester. we were bored and just started taking pics with silly poses. this is one of the less silly ones...and i remembered we stayed up till like 3+ am and took SO many pics. was browsing through them and brough back alot of happy memories...
Great Ocean Road Trip with Pei Leng. i love this pic..i look happy..and the scenery was great..and i had great fun with Pei Leng on that trip.
BBQ #1 at College Square...and the guys decided to see who is heavier: peileng or me..and of course, i win...the two guys 'carrying' me (WP and Errol) looked like they are about to be crushed under my weight...i hope i din cause any permanent damge to their arms...
BBQ#2 at College Square and playing with sparklers. don't we all look happy? i guess girls are just easily excited by sparklers
Grampians Trip with Pei Leng, organised by College Square people. it was a 2d1n trip..and it was fabulour..except that i remembered i had a fight with HW the night before departure..and i was so upset on the way there that i kept crying. now i think about it, it feel so silly to ruin my mood for such a fantastic trip. but i still had LOTSA fun..and the view was just WOW.
[note]:my hair looks extrememely straight and strangely in place in the last 4 photos eh? nope, it's not good hair day..it's called rebonding. am thinking of doing it again..but it's quite a waste of money cos my rebonding doesn't last longer than 6 months *bleah*
Adelaide 2003...that's JF, edwin and WP. WP looks so exhausted because he actually injured his knee just before we left for adelaide..and he had trouble walking on his injured knee...but he endured it and trekked with us up and down slopes and hills (with some help from the other 2 guys). by the end of the day, he was so sore that i had to give him massage. and cos he was so sore, he was screaming in pain when i push on the muscles. poor guy...i had fun during the trip..and i hope the guys did as well :D
Tasmania 2003. that's the Tasman bridge in the background. Tasmania trip was my favourite trip in Australia so far...and i would LOVE to go back there again. it is, without a doubt, the best place i've visited in australia in the past 3-4 years.
and yes, snow snow snow in tasmania up on the mountains. trekking in snow and blizzard (and hail) was an experience i would never forget.oh, and tasmania was the place i see snow for the first time..up on Mount Wellington in Hobart.
so there you go...15 pics to sum up the most memorable days of my life here in Aussieland in 2002 and 2003. maybe when i graduate and go back to singapore, i'll do a 2004/2005 series.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
想回到过去...重新经历美丽的回忆
回忆里的人，你们都好吗？
我很想念你们，不知道我是否也活在你们的记忆里？
我是否也属于你们生命中美丽回忆里的小小角色？
[note]:all the blur pics are from my lousy digicam/webcam..while the good quality ones are from Andrew's Canon Digicam
Trudy, Yie Hui and me in my first apartment in CS (GD05)
Vic Mkt gang 1st sem 2002 in the city at corner Bourke and Swanston
My first housemate Pei Leng and me at Rebel Sports. took this photo while the guys are looking at soccer stuff..
Eugene, Andrew, Pei Leng and I at Chadstone. the first time i went to that gigantic shopping centre..,
Wu Yue Tian picture of Eugene, Andrew, Jeremy, Peileng and I at St Kilda's Beach. i still have that photo on display in my room...
Andrew, Peileng and I in my second apartment (7S11) which i shared with Peileng for 1 semester. we were bored and just started taking pics with silly poses. this is one of the less silly ones...and i remembered we stayed up till like 3+ am and took SO many pics. was browsing through them and brough back alot of happy memories...
Great Ocean Road Trip with Pei Leng. i love this pic..i look happy..and the scenery was great..and i had great fun with Pei Leng on that trip.
BBQ #1 at College Square...and the guys decided to see who is heavier: peileng or me..and of course, i win...the two guys 'carrying' me (WP and Errol) looked like they are about to be crushed under my weight...i hope i din cause any permanent damge to their arms...
BBQ#2 at College Square and playing with sparklers. don't we all look happy? i guess girls are just easily excited by sparklers
Grampians Trip with Pei Leng, organised by College Square people. it was a 2d1n trip..and it was fabulour..except that i remembered i had a fight with HW the night before departure..and i was so upset on the way there that i kept crying. now i think about it, it feel so silly to ruin my mood for such a fantastic trip. but i still had LOTSA fun..and the view was just WOW.
[note]:my hair looks extrememely straight and strangely in place in the last 4 photos eh? nope, it's not good hair day..it's called rebonding. am thinking of doing it again..but it's quite a waste of money cos my rebonding doesn't last longer than 6 months *bleah*
Adelaide 2003...that's JF, edwin and WP. WP looks so exhausted because he actually injured his knee just before we left for adelaide..and he had trouble walking on his injured knee...but he endured it and trekked with us up and down slopes and hills (with some help from the other 2 guys). by the end of the day, he was so sore that i had to give him massage. and cos he was so sore, he was screaming in pain when i push on the muscles. poor guy...i had fun during the trip..and i hope the guys did as well :D
Tasmania 2003. that's the Tasman bridge in the background. Tasmania trip was my favourite trip in Australia so far...and i would LOVE to go back there again. it is, without a doubt, the best place i've visited in australia in the past 3-4 years.
and yes, snow snow snow in tasmania up on the mountains. trekking in snow and blizzard (and hail) was an experience i would never forget.oh, and tasmania was the place i see snow for the first time..up on Mount Wellington in Hobart.
so there you go...15 pics to sum up the most memorable days of my life here in Aussieland in 2002 and 2003. maybe when i graduate and go back to singapore, i'll do a 2004/2005 series.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
想回到过去...重新经历美丽的回忆
回忆里的人，你们都好吗？
我很想念你们，不知道我是否也活在你们的记忆里？
我是否也属于你们生命中美丽回忆里的小小角色？
Bright sunshine on snowy slopes...fantastic weather for a day on the snow! btw, sitting in the chair lift was really quite fun (and scary at first...) and it offers a fantastic view.
the gang of us (from left):esther, yivern, wing, juanna, moi, alicia and huawei
The boarders...
The ski-ers
yivern and i acting silly...does this mean that ski-ers (yivern and i) aren't as cool as a boarder(wing)?
Yours truly on skis...
Wing caught in the act...she looks so cool!!
Alicia getting hit by a snow ball. i have no idea who threw it..my guess is hua wei cos he's the only guy and well..we girls just can't aim well with snow balls (and juanna would agree to that yeah? haha)
looking at this pics make me wanna go skiing again!!!!!!!!!!
i think my blogging skill have officially dropped to the 'nobodywantstoreadyourcrap' level. probably because my blog has become 'the official site of Gretel Ni's incessant whinging'
ehhh...true lah, i do whinge alot, especially when schoolwork starts to pile up..and when the weather starts to become bright and sunny and i have to stay indoors to do stupid assignments.
it is at times like this when i feel that i should just shut down this blog and let some other smart-ass make use of this webspace for more entertaining blogging. especially since my English is so terrible..and my Chinese is also getting from bad to worse.
in a way, i no longer know what to blog about cos..well...there's only so much i can complain about the weather...about school...and posting about my trips to here and there just doesn't seem to appeal to me anymore. posting pictures is difficult cos i can never find a decent pic of myself.
but i've grown to be very attached to this blog leh. giving up is such a waste. and in a way, i like to know that when i want to whinge, i can always terrorise unsuspecting readers who unfortunately decide to visit this hopeless blog. *evil Gretel*
besides the point of not knowing what to blog...i think i am just losing my self identity...
had to answer a few questions for the yearbook a couple of days ago. some of the questions i have no idea how to answer
where would you be in 10 years time? ermmm.....i dunno leh....
if you are not a physio, what would you be? errmmm....i still dunno leh...
an idol in the physio world... eeeerrrrmmm....i just dunno lah...
my dream job is...eeeeeeeerrrrrrmmmmmm....I DUNNO!!!
'i dunno' seem to be the 2 words i say most often this days. it's either 'i dunno' or 'dunno lah' am i becoming stupid?? or is my true stupidity starting to show?
also dunno what happened to those funny entries i used to write. actually,i think they are funny. no one else ever said that they were. still, at least i can read those entries and find them funny. now i read my entries and i cringe with embarrassment at how shallow and boring they are.
so now, i am evil+shallow+boring...and i can go on and on about how much of a failed blogger i am (which would prove the point that i am boring..)
*diong* i should just stop this aimless "self-reflection" and get on with life.
and i should just NOT blog until i actually have something more clever to talk about...
*sigh* that's provided i actually can resist the temptation to complain to the whole cyberworld about the weather, assignments and bad hair/skin days.
i have this sinking feeling that i am turning into a bimbo..only i am not pretty..so i cannot be a bimbo..in other words, i am ugly...and shallow.
pathetic doesn't even begin to describe how pathetic i am...
ehhh...true lah, i do whinge alot, especially when schoolwork starts to pile up..and when the weather starts to become bright and sunny and i have to stay indoors to do stupid assignments.
it is at times like this when i feel that i should just shut down this blog and let some other smart-ass make use of this webspace for more entertaining blogging. especially since my English is so terrible..and my Chinese is also getting from bad to worse.
in a way, i no longer know what to blog about cos..well...there's only so much i can complain about the weather...about school...and posting about my trips to here and there just doesn't seem to appeal to me anymore. posting pictures is difficult cos i can never find a decent pic of myself.
but i've grown to be very attached to this blog leh. giving up is such a waste. and in a way, i like to know that when i want to whinge, i can always terrorise unsuspecting readers who unfortunately decide to visit this hopeless blog. *evil Gretel*
besides the point of not knowing what to blog...i think i am just losing my self identity...
had to answer a few questions for the yearbook a couple of days ago. some of the questions i have no idea how to answer
where would you be in 10 years time? ermmm.....i dunno leh....
if you are not a physio, what would you be? errmmm....i still dunno leh...
an idol in the physio world... eeeerrrrmmm....i just dunno lah...
my dream job is...eeeeeeeerrrrrrmmmmmm....I DUNNO!!!
'i dunno' seem to be the 2 words i say most often this days. it's either 'i dunno' or 'dunno lah' am i becoming stupid?? or is my true stupidity starting to show?
also dunno what happened to those funny entries i used to write. actually,i think they are funny. no one else ever said that they were. still, at least i can read those entries and find them funny. now i read my entries and i cringe with embarrassment at how shallow and boring they are.
so now, i am evil+shallow+boring...and i can go on and on about how much of a failed blogger i am (which would prove the point that i am boring..)
*diong* i should just stop this aimless "self-reflection" and get on with life.
and i should just NOT blog until i actually have something more clever to talk about...
*sigh* that's provided i actually can resist the temptation to complain to the whole cyberworld about the weather, assignments and bad hair/skin days.
i have this sinking feeling that i am turning into a bimbo..only i am not pretty..so i cannot be a bimbo..in other words, i am ugly...and shallow.
pathetic doesn't even begin to describe how pathetic i am...
thank you germ and ken for the yummy sushi!
thank you germ for the yummy sweet potatoe soup!
argh..this weekend sucks big time. i am stuck in my room, writing an essay which i have no idea what to write about. strangely enough, i still managed to crap out 2500 words. no doubt i am going to do so badly for this essay..i am not looking forward to getting it back at all...
and, tomorrow i have to go to a friend's place to do a presentation due on Wed. *BLEAH* the only thing that keeps me going is that with each passing moment of pure boredom and stress, i am one moment closer to stepping back on sunny Singapore.
germ and i shared a slice of bah gua just now (many thanks to Yivern). that first bite into that sweet tasting BBQ pork...ooh..was SO GOOD. can't wait for CNY next year and eat all the bah gua i want. *drool*
end of year trip for family more or less settled...now have to work out whether the trip to europe is gonna work out...and it all lies with a 'yes' or 'no' from MOH. parents have agreed..a quick calculation show that i should be able to afford it (with a little bit of loan from PPMM)...
one last week at St Paul's. i'm sad. this is my favourite placement...because it's elective and all i need to do is pass, because my supervisor is fun and a pleasure to work with, because i get to 'knock off' at 3pm, because i get to work with children...this placement is so good, just thinking of it ending this coming thurs makes me wanna weep with sorrow...
argh...back to that b***** ethics essay. and my neck muscles just went into spasm. OUCHIE!
******************************************************
realised during dinner that today is Peil Leng's bday! called her to wish her happy bday and she sounded so surprised. happy birthday pei leng!
mmm...no one ever calls me from overseas (except my papa who called me about 3 times to settle all the touring stuff). when the phone in the apt rings, i know that 99.999999999999999% is for Germ, and 99.99999999999999% is her mum. sigh...sometimes i have no idea why i even bother to have a mobile phone here in aussieland. even back to those days when i had a significant other, he doesn't bother to sms me...and his phone calls are rarer than a blue moon.
i have no idea how talking abt peileng's bday became a nobodycallsmeeverybodyhatesme complain session.
等电话，是无休止的期待。结局，是彻骨的失望。
电话铃声响，我知道不是找我的。
可是每次都抱着希望接电话，
再带着失望把电话传给别人。
sometimes, i even get jealous of people who have friends and family calling them. it's just so nice when u are overseas to receive a phone call from a friend or family...kinda reassures u that someone still cares.
BAH. i sound desperate for attention...maybe because i am too deprived of any attention??!!
i can almost see the word L.O.S.E.R. being engraved on my forehead...and then onto my tombstone - Gretel Ni:biggest loser of all time.
thank you germ for the yummy sweet potatoe soup!
argh..this weekend sucks big time. i am stuck in my room, writing an essay which i have no idea what to write about. strangely enough, i still managed to crap out 2500 words. no doubt i am going to do so badly for this essay..i am not looking forward to getting it back at all...
and, tomorrow i have to go to a friend's place to do a presentation due on Wed. *BLEAH* the only thing that keeps me going is that with each passing moment of pure boredom and stress, i am one moment closer to stepping back on sunny Singapore.
germ and i shared a slice of bah gua just now (many thanks to Yivern). that first bite into that sweet tasting BBQ pork...ooh..was SO GOOD. can't wait for CNY next year and eat all the bah gua i want. *drool*
end of year trip for family more or less settled...now have to work out whether the trip to europe is gonna work out...and it all lies with a 'yes' or 'no' from MOH. parents have agreed..a quick calculation show that i should be able to afford it (with a little bit of loan from PPMM)...
one last week at St Paul's. i'm sad. this is my favourite placement...because it's elective and all i need to do is pass, because my supervisor is fun and a pleasure to work with, because i get to 'knock off' at 3pm, because i get to work with children...this placement is so good, just thinking of it ending this coming thurs makes me wanna weep with sorrow...
argh...back to that b***** ethics essay. and my neck muscles just went into spasm. OUCHIE!
******************************************************
realised during dinner that today is Peil Leng's bday! called her to wish her happy bday and she sounded so surprised. happy birthday pei leng!
mmm...no one ever calls me from overseas (except my papa who called me about 3 times to settle all the touring stuff). when the phone in the apt rings, i know that 99.999999999999999% is for Germ, and 99.99999999999999% is her mum. sigh...sometimes i have no idea why i even bother to have a mobile phone here in aussieland. even back to those days when i had a significant other, he doesn't bother to sms me...and his phone calls are rarer than a blue moon.
i have no idea how talking abt peileng's bday became a nobodycallsmeeverybodyhatesme complain session.
等电话，是无休止的期待。结局，是彻骨的失望。
电话铃声响，我知道不是找我的。
可是每次都抱着希望接电话，
再带着失望把电话传给别人。
sometimes, i even get jealous of people who have friends and family calling them. it's just so nice when u are overseas to receive a phone call from a friend or family...kinda reassures u that someone still cares.
BAH. i sound desperate for attention...maybe because i am too deprived of any attention??!!
i can almost see the word L.O.S.E.R. being engraved on my forehead...and then onto my tombstone - Gretel Ni:biggest loser of all time.
i want...
...to go SHOPPING
...to go to the Royal Melbourne Show
...to go to Tulip Festival
...to go ski-ing again
...a digicam
i need...
...a new pair of sandals
...a new purse/wallet
...a sponsored spa retreat
...a day to just slack and do nothing
i miss...
...daddy and mummy (and gor-gor)
...my bolster
...wearing shorts
...having roti prata for breakfast
and so as i sit here and wonder when i can get what i want/need/miss, a weird feeling settles in my tummy...discontent.
trying to forget, learning to forgive
searching for the answer
so that i can let it go...
to not want/need/miss the above
and be content with what i am..what i had...what i have...and what i am going to have.
...to go SHOPPING
...to go to the Royal Melbourne Show
...to go to Tulip Festival
...to go ski-ing again
...a digicam
i need...
...a new pair of sandals
...a new purse/wallet
...a sponsored spa retreat
...a day to just slack and do nothing
i miss...
...daddy and mummy (and gor-gor)
...my bolster
...wearing shorts
...having roti prata for breakfast
and so as i sit here and wonder when i can get what i want/need/miss, a weird feeling settles in my tummy...discontent.
trying to forget, learning to forgive
searching for the answer
so that i can let it go...
to not want/need/miss the above
and be content with what i am..what i had...what i have...and what i am going to have.
ski trip today FINALLY happened.
waking up at 4.30am was totally worth it...drive there took 3 hours on the coach. scenery was fantastic, with mist hanging around the mountains and cows/sheeps grazing in the pastures by the side of the road...sun rise over the mountains and the mist slowly lifting from the grass and trees. and also sighting the first view of snow by the side of the road as we ascended mount buller...
and I had SO MUCH fun...too bad there just wasn't enough time *sigh*
now my body is paying the price of the falls and tumbles i took up on those snowy slopes. i did some 'fantastic' falls, including one that had me sliding down the slope on my front with my legs up in the air behind me.oh, and i lost control and had to hug a wooden pole for support, much to the amusement of expert ski-ers and boaders up on the chair lifts. the "bwahahaha"coming from above my head only prompted me to let go of the pole and try and look cool. sadly, after ski-ing for another 5m, i fell...again
greatest fear was falling when trying to get off chair lift with ski on. luckily nothing of such happened. yivern and i shared successfully got off the lift and ski-ed away...and we shared much laughter as we both ski, fall and tumble down the slopes of Blue Bullet 2.
it was great, even though i probably fell at least 10 times in one day. but falling down on the snow is almost painless..and so much fun.
i wanna go ski-ing again...but too bad, no such luck for me unless i fly back to melbourne (or to another country)
can't wait for photos from wing and juanna...would post some up once i get them
in the meantime, i need to sneak under my quilt and sleep...too exhausted...muscles are groaning and moaning...eyes are dry and red...
and maybe, i'll have to call in sick tomorrow if my legs refuse to work and get me out of bed.
waking up at 4.30am was totally worth it...drive there took 3 hours on the coach. scenery was fantastic, with mist hanging around the mountains and cows/sheeps grazing in the pastures by the side of the road...sun rise over the mountains and the mist slowly lifting from the grass and trees. and also sighting the first view of snow by the side of the road as we ascended mount buller...
and I had SO MUCH fun...too bad there just wasn't enough time *sigh*
now my body is paying the price of the falls and tumbles i took up on those snowy slopes. i did some 'fantastic' falls, including one that had me sliding down the slope on my front with my legs up in the air behind me.oh, and i lost control and had to hug a wooden pole for support, much to the amusement of expert ski-ers and boaders up on the chair lifts. the "bwahahaha"coming from above my head only prompted me to let go of the pole and try and look cool. sadly, after ski-ing for another 5m, i fell...again
greatest fear was falling when trying to get off chair lift with ski on. luckily nothing of such happened. yivern and i shared successfully got off the lift and ski-ed away...and we shared much laughter as we both ski, fall and tumble down the slopes of Blue Bullet 2.
it was great, even though i probably fell at least 10 times in one day. but falling down on the snow is almost painless..and so much fun.
i wanna go ski-ing again...but too bad, no such luck for me unless i fly back to melbourne (or to another country)
can't wait for photos from wing and juanna...would post some up once i get them
in the meantime, i need to sneak under my quilt and sleep...too exhausted...muscles are groaning and moaning...eyes are dry and red...
and maybe, i'll have to call in sick tomorrow if my legs refuse to work and get me out of bed.
quite a long time ago, a friend of mine asked me why i don't have pictures of my apartment building..and i promised that friend i would take pics of the building.
so today, in a moment of sheer boredom and taking advantage of the fantastic sunshine, i finally took these pics...however, due to lousy camera and photographic skills, the pictures dun really look impressive. *bleah*
pic 1: name of the building i am living in. this place is about 5 minutes from melbourne university..so i guess that's where the name come from..?
pic 2:one side of the building. i like the shadows of the botak trees on the grass
closer look of the side of the building from above pic. which one is my apartment? far right, 2nd balcony from top/bottom.
pic 3: the courtyard. that glasshouse-lookalike thingie is actually the gym with a non-functional jaccuzi. have a guess which one is my bedroom window *smirk*
pic 4:balconies of the apartment which faces the courtyard instead of the streets. nothing more interesting to say liaoz....
okie dokie..hope i've satisfied my friend's interests. hehe...i think this apartment building is actually quite nice...ah well, just 3 more months in this place.
and to end off this entry, my narcissist nature means that i took pics of myself since i had my camera with me...
wuahaha.i think i look damn idiotic with shades on. and my face look dark cos the sun is behind me..and i look fat FAT FAT. sighz..hopefully my new diet+exercise regime would help me look like the way i was back in April/May
argh...i am absolutely disgustedhorrified&demoralised with the differences in the 2 pics.
oh please, let me lose the fats in my cheeks..in my chin...on my tummy *fingers crossed*
so today, in a moment of sheer boredom and taking advantage of the fantastic sunshine, i finally took these pics...however, due to lousy camera and photographic skills, the pictures dun really look impressive. *bleah*
pic 1: name of the building i am living in. this place is about 5 minutes from melbourne university..so i guess that's where the name come from..?
pic 2:one side of the building. i like the shadows of the botak trees on the grass
closer look of the side of the building from above pic. which one is my apartment? far right, 2nd balcony from top/bottom.
pic 3: the courtyard. that glasshouse-lookalike thingie is actually the gym with a non-functional jaccuzi. have a guess which one is my bedroom window *smirk*
pic 4:balconies of the apartment which faces the courtyard instead of the streets. nothing more interesting to say liaoz....
okie dokie..hope i've satisfied my friend's interests. hehe...i think this apartment building is actually quite nice...ah well, just 3 more months in this place.
and to end off this entry, my narcissist nature means that i took pics of myself since i had my camera with me...
wuahaha.i think i look damn idiotic with shades on. and my face look dark cos the sun is behind me..and i look fat FAT FAT. sighz..hopefully my new diet+exercise regime would help me look like the way i was back in April/May
argh...i am absolutely disgustedhorrified&demoralised with the differences in the 2 pics.
oh please, let me lose the fats in my cheeks..in my chin...on my tummy *fingers crossed*
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