randomly clicked on my archives and found this entry
Don't take me for granted.
i need to know you care.
it's as easy as a phone call,
to let me know you're there.
Don't take me for granted,
i can't always be waiting.
one day i'd lose my patience,
and eventually walk away.
Don't take me for granted.
i won't be here forever.
one day i'd be gone,
and that day might be today.
Don't take me for granted,
don't let me wait in vain.
don't presume i'd always be here,
because i'd leave one day.
okay, so it doesn't rhyme...
but in a way, i was kinda surprised to read it..
considering that in oct 2004, i was supposed to head-over-heels in love..
or maybe...
i wasn't happy already at that time..
being taken for granted degrades any lovey feelings pretty fast...
so perhaps..
what happened in march 2005 wasn't that much of a 'shock'...
if i had read my past entries...
or perhaps, i'd have ended it earlier *shrug*
whatever...it's over anyway:D
but i still share the same sentiments in that 'poem'..
don't take anyone for granted..
don't take anything for granted...
because now you see it..
and now you don't...
live each second...savour it and know that you will never get it back ever again
~zen~
做人，很难。
做好人，更难。
做个顾全大局的好人，最难。
或许如果是个男人，还可以勉强接受无法顾到他人感受。
可是身为女人，似乎无法顾到大家，就是一种罪过。
朋友，到底有几种？
有的朋友，是尽在不言中。
可以不说话，却没有不安。
有的朋友，是形影不离。
每一秒都要看到，每一次都得有你，有我，有大家。
有的朋友，是昙花一现。
久久一次见个面，却没有好久不见的尴尬。
我的朋友中，就这几种。
可惜，我做不到‘最难’的事。
尽在不言中时，我顾不到那位形影不离。
昙花一现的，就不会不言。
形影不离时，周围一切都成了过路风景。
如何顾到所有人，我真的不知道。
有时想要不言，所以不想形影不离，昙花一现。
结果，就让一些人委屈，落单了。
也许一个人，最容易。
人虽然是群体动物，一群人中都还是有变动。
没有谁可以永远跟着谁。
我无法做到的，我抱歉。
搞自闭吧。
那样就忽略不到别人，又顾全了自己。
做好人，更难。
做个顾全大局的好人，最难。
或许如果是个男人，还可以勉强接受无法顾到他人感受。
可是身为女人，似乎无法顾到大家，就是一种罪过。
朋友，到底有几种？
有的朋友，是尽在不言中。
可以不说话，却没有不安。
有的朋友，是形影不离。
每一秒都要看到，每一次都得有你，有我，有大家。
有的朋友，是昙花一现。
久久一次见个面，却没有好久不见的尴尬。
我的朋友中，就这几种。
可惜，我做不到‘最难’的事。
尽在不言中时，我顾不到那位形影不离。
昙花一现的，就不会不言。
形影不离时，周围一切都成了过路风景。
如何顾到所有人，我真的不知道。
有时想要不言，所以不想形影不离，昙花一现。
结果，就让一些人委屈，落单了。
也许一个人，最容易。
人虽然是群体动物，一群人中都还是有变动。
没有谁可以永远跟着谁。
我无法做到的，我抱歉。
搞自闭吧。
那样就忽略不到别人，又顾全了自己。
有时候，在最毫不胜防的情况下，
旧时的一切，一拥而上。
有一点措手不及，招架不住。
有时候，在最没有安排的时候，
周围的朋友，无意团聚。
有丝丝暖意，说不出的温馨。
在无意与有意的平衡线上，人脆弱了。
有意的一切，却被无意地破坏。
无意的种种，造成了有意的机缘。
人的意念，往往被无法控制的无意变了样。
做回真实的自己，想要刻意不让周围影响自己。
越刻意，却越不像是自己。
但是让周围左右自己，那还是真实的我吗？
或许根本没有真实的我，因为‘我’随着周围在改变。
这一分钟，下一秒钟，都是不同的。
顺着一切，无意的，有意的，一颗平常心。
又或许，维持自我，那就是‘我’。
原则上‘我’应该怎样，所以‘我’就那样。
尽管周围变得面目全非，故意与固执的做‘我自己’。
那就是真实的自己。
我要的，我不要的，我知道。
你要的，你不要的，我不知道。
就算知道，那不是我要的，我依旧要照我的意愿行事。
这样是自私吗？
我要的，我不要的，我不知道。
你要的，你不要的，我也不知道。
可是，为了大家，我会试着去知道，照你的要求做事。
这样是无私吗？
世间太多平衡线，
左一条，右一条；前一条，后一条。
这么多条线的交叉点，人类都在尝试平衡在那个点。
每条线，每个人的观点不一样。
一条直线，你看是衡的，我看是竖的，他们看的是歪来歪去的。
结果每个人的交叉点不一样，平衡点不一样。
你看我的点比较容易，想要试一试。
我看你的点太困难，想要改变你。
人类困在这样的平衡网中，无法挣脱。
如果人类是因为有思考能力而成为万物之首，
我想人类也会因为思考太多而自我毁灭。
旧时的一切，一拥而上。
有一点措手不及，招架不住。
有时候，在最没有安排的时候，
周围的朋友，无意团聚。
有丝丝暖意，说不出的温馨。
在无意与有意的平衡线上，人脆弱了。
有意的一切，却被无意地破坏。
无意的种种，造成了有意的机缘。
人的意念，往往被无法控制的无意变了样。
做回真实的自己，想要刻意不让周围影响自己。
越刻意，却越不像是自己。
但是让周围左右自己，那还是真实的我吗？
或许根本没有真实的我，因为‘我’随着周围在改变。
这一分钟，下一秒钟，都是不同的。
顺着一切，无意的，有意的，一颗平常心。
又或许，维持自我，那就是‘我’。
原则上‘我’应该怎样，所以‘我’就那样。
尽管周围变得面目全非，故意与固执的做‘我自己’。
那就是真实的自己。
我要的，我不要的，我知道。
你要的，你不要的，我不知道。
就算知道，那不是我要的，我依旧要照我的意愿行事。
这样是自私吗？
我要的，我不要的，我不知道。
你要的，你不要的，我也不知道。
可是，为了大家，我会试着去知道，照你的要求做事。
这样是无私吗？
世间太多平衡线，
左一条，右一条；前一条，后一条。
这么多条线的交叉点，人类都在尝试平衡在那个点。
每条线，每个人的观点不一样。
一条直线，你看是衡的，我看是竖的，他们看的是歪来歪去的。
结果每个人的交叉点不一样，平衡点不一样。
你看我的点比较容易，想要试一试。
我看你的点太困难，想要改变你。
人类困在这样的平衡网中，无法挣脱。
如果人类是因为有思考能力而成为万物之首，
我想人类也会因为思考太多而自我毁灭。
thursday...
the beginning of the end of the week...
part of me is heaving a BIG sigh of relief..
another part is looking forward to Sat (KTV!)
and then there's a part of me...
which is just very very very exhausted...
the kind of exhaustion which makes me want to just lie on my bed
and not get up..
forever and ever more
i've got nothing to blog..
but i seem to have loads on my mind..
random thoughts..
flying in....zooming out...
faster than i can register...
and so i can't seem to catch any of them to blog it down...
sometimes, i really wonder why does life get more complex as humans become more 'high tech'
as mdm yap always say
以前没有电脑，没有手机，人还不是这样过？
we seem to have developed a need for technology
only to become the slaves of these gadgets...
grr...i'm rambling..
a sign that mr zhou calling me to join him in a game of chess...
better not let him wait....
TGIF cm...
~fatigued~
the beginning of the end of the week...
part of me is heaving a BIG sigh of relief..
another part is looking forward to Sat (KTV!)
and then there's a part of me...
which is just very very very exhausted...
the kind of exhaustion which makes me want to just lie on my bed
and not get up..
forever and ever more
i've got nothing to blog..
but i seem to have loads on my mind..
random thoughts..
flying in....zooming out...
faster than i can register...
and so i can't seem to catch any of them to blog it down...
sometimes, i really wonder why does life get more complex as humans become more 'high tech'
as mdm yap always say
以前没有电脑，没有手机，人还不是这样过？
we seem to have developed a need for technology
only to become the slaves of these gadgets...
grr...i'm rambling..
a sign that mr zhou calling me to join him in a game of chess...
better not let him wait....
TGIF cm...
~fatigued~
preface:
on this day, i took about 200 photos...
on the whole trip i took 500+ photos..
which means on this day...i took almost 50% of all the photos on the trip...
therefore, i can only select some which helps me to tell the story...
even though there are many more which i'd love to upload and share cos they are so beautiful..
but...blogger is just too slow with photos upload...
21 Feb 2008
day 6 - ping xi 平溪 - shi fen 十分
the day started rather well, with a yummy breakfast and no rain! yay!!
after breakfast and complimentary coffee from the very kind boss of 明通雅舍，
we head off to the railway station to take a train to shi fen 十分
a random pic along the way to the train station. seriously, any angle in ping xi is a good shot.
pretty mosiac pic at the railway station
quick quick! take a pic before the train runs me down! -_-
the mummies chatting animatedly on the train...good thing they can self entertain, leaving the 3 of us young ones free to take pics and relax :P
***************************************
in case u are wondering why we chose to go to pingxi-shifen, 21 Feb is actually 15th day of lunar new year (元宵).
and on this day, there is a huge celebration in pingxi village 平溪乡 called TianDeng Festival.
In open areas of bigger towns like shi fen, ping xi and jing tong 菁桐, crowds will release their tiandeng to pray and wish for a smooth year ahead.
and in shi fen, on yuan xiao, hundreds of tian dengs wil be released at one time, which the area is very famous for.
in fact, taiwan's yuan xiao festival is celebrated hugely around the country.
of them all, the 2 most famous ones are 盐水蜂炮 in tainan yanshui town 台南盐水镇 (http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/鹽水蜂炮)
and tian deng in taipei pingxi village.
hence, there is the saying 南蜂炮，北天灯。
from what i know about the feng pao, u need to wear protective gears because the firecrackers will actually shoot in all directions towards the crowd. so unless u watch from afar, multi-layers of good, protective clothes is a must.
but anyway, our main aim of going to ping xi village during this time is to witness the tiandeng festival.
***********************************************
arrived in shi fen and so happy that the weather is fairly good :D
love taking pics with railway tracks, especially like the intersection in the back..with the mountains in the background....
we spent the day walking around shi fen and visiting a few of its famous spots.
one of the "attractions" in shifen is the railway track which runs right in the middle of 2 rows of shophouses. so instead of crossing streets, u cross the railway track...
here comes the train *honk honk*
that ah mah isn't too worried about the train or the noise...
when the train is gone, the track functions like a normal street...as well as a photographic background for many tourists
shi fen's sights is as good as, if not better, than ping xi. probably cos it's a bigger town, there are more bridges over streams and canals, forming photogenic shots everywhere...
no canal in sg will look this clean and scenic.
one of the many suspension bridges
close up of the 4 ladies posing on the bridge...
pretty much like ping xi, almost any angle is a scenic shot...lush greenery, flowing water and rapids, bridges, broadwalks etc etc etc...
i'll the pics do the talking...
i stood here for a few minutes just to listen to the sound of water crashing over the rocks. not too loud like a gigantic waterfall....just enough to soothe and calm...
walking along the broadwalk that runs along the river/stream. mummy looks very calm and zen..or maybe she's just too sleepy to pose :P
smoothly flowing water with minimal disturbance to its surface. a different kind of calming effect...and i really like how the mountains are reflected in the water...
still on the broadwalk. if you look carefully (pic abit small), the water is actually very clear..can see the river bed
at the end of the broadwalk, we reach the first of the waterfalls we came to see
眼镜洞瀑布 (eyeglass cave waterfalls?) named so cos of the waterfalls through the middle of the 'cave' that made the cave look like a pair of eyeglass
closed up shot of the waterfalls
bridge over running water (is that a name of a song?) with the waterfalls in the background. i took a few pics from this angle..this is one of my fav...
after taking pics here, we continue a short walk to reach the famous waterfalls in shifen
十分大瀑布 (an interesting name...it can be 'shi fen's big waterfall' or 'a waterfall that is pretty big'...haha)
it's so famous, it needs to be protected and so must pay entrance fee to go into the 'waterfall reserve'. not too ex..about SGD$10 i think...
why is it famous? because it's taiwan's BIGGEST curtain waterfall. width 40m, height 20m and depth of its pool is 15m. i think i read somewhere that it is coined 'asia's niagra falls'...
on the calmer side of the falls. u can see a bit of the spray in the background, just above my head -_-
a shot of the calmly flowing water with the drop leading to the waterfalls
my fav shot of the famous waterfalls. the falls is pretty huge cos of the long and heavy rain the day before. during a dry spell, it doesn't look so intimidating with less 'ferocious' falls
a closer look at the falls. those 'blurry spots' are actually water droplets on my camera lens from the huge amount of spray generated by the falls. cannot really see the different layers of the falls cos so much water...
an even closer look. the sound was deafening. i had to shout to my mum when she was posing for pictures. i don't think anyone can fall down this falls and not be seriously injured...
i mentioned the spray earlier..this is how it looks like if u look across the pool at the bottom of the falls. blurry spots all over from the water droplets...
i think cos the festival, the street market is more crowded than usual. and there are dozens of shop/stalls in this area selling tian dengs...pretty much like ping xi but more populated and less idyllic
one of the stalls had this sign to explain all the different colours and its meaning for the tian dengs. will try to translate from left to right:
white: peace and brightness (??); blue: longevity and prosperity; pink: loving relationship; orange: intelligence; purple: luck; yellow: strike gold; red: good fortune; 'peach red' (??): happy ending (??)
ok, my translation sucks..but something like that lah...
and tian deng is not just something to be released at night...
many people do it in daytime too..cos well, one can make wishes day or night..
and i guess deities are on duty 24/7 anyway :P
this pic looks kinda weird here cos the background is all white...
another one floating past the mountains.
i took like 6-7 pics of a few different colour tian dengs floating past the mountains. it's a different kind of feel compared to seeing them at night. in the day, u pay more attention to its colour, whereas at night, it feels like light of hope is rising into the skies...
higher and higher they float...messengers of hope....
(haha, that kinda rhymed..)
kind of look like millions of fireflies here..but at that time, it was a spectacular sight.
the festival has begun!
we quickly descended (or as fast as we can cos there was no streetlights and we had to feel our way down the hill) and made our way to the site of the festival (which i think is a huge field that had a stage erected on one side for the performances)
there will altogther be 12 'waves' of tian dengs to be released. each 'wave' will consist of about 200 normal-sized tian dengs and 1 gigantic tian deng. the gigantic tiandeng will usually be 'autographed' by some VIPs with wishes for the county/province/town etc...
the 'fireflies' was probably the 1st wave that was released...
as we walked to the site, a 2nd wave was released...
no my hands weren't shaking! the lanterns were just moving too fast!
we hurried to get to the site cos we dun wanna miss to see an upclose view of the release. it was super crowded..and there were SO many people there, with their hands holding their cameras up in the air and aiming...
made it in time to see the 3rd wave being released!
taken by YQ, her camera can capture faster than mine so less blur...
up, up and away....no words can describe how beautiful the sight was...
maybe this video can convey a little bit of how spectacular it was to see so many tiandengs being released at one go...
in between the waves, while waiting for the officials to get the tian dengs ready
(FYI, only officials are allowed to release the 200 tian dengs in the field. public can only release them in other areas...)
there will be some performance on the stage...
and then, the 4th wave was almost ready...the comperes were talking incessantly blah blah blah..
and right in the middle of the field, that gigantic tian deng i mentioned was being inflated...
the giant among the dwarves...and everyone got their cameras ready for the 4th wave..
here we go! 4th wave being released and all these people with their cameras up in the air trying to get a good shot
another short clip showing the difference between the giant and the 'dwarves'
after seeing the 4th wave, our lunch was all digested from the walking and 'wow-ing' we did...
so we head back to town (which is even more crowded now) to have dinner..
and everywhere, everyone is either releasing tian dengs on the railway track, or any open areas...and every now and then, there will be the sound of fireworks exploding in the skies..
very very festive...
somehow the train station doesn't look very festive. can see the smoke being 'cut' by the train's headlights. very smoky from all the burning fuel in the tiandeng and fireworks
on this day, i took about 200 photos...
on the whole trip i took 500+ photos..
which means on this day...i took almost 50% of all the photos on the trip...
therefore, i can only select some which helps me to tell the story...
even though there are many more which i'd love to upload and share cos they are so beautiful..
but...blogger is just too slow with photos upload...
21 Feb 2008
day 6 - ping xi 平溪 - shi fen 十分
the day started rather well, with a yummy breakfast and no rain! yay!!
after breakfast and complimentary coffee from the very kind boss of 明通雅舍，
we head off to the railway station to take a train to shi fen 十分
a random pic along the way to the train station. seriously, any angle in ping xi is a good shot.
pretty mosiac pic at the railway station
quick quick! take a pic before the train runs me down! -_-
the mummies chatting animatedly on the train...good thing they can self entertain, leaving the 3 of us young ones free to take pics and relax :P
***************************************
in case u are wondering why we chose to go to pingxi-shifen, 21 Feb is actually 15th day of lunar new year (元宵).
and on this day, there is a huge celebration in pingxi village 平溪乡 called TianDeng Festival.
In open areas of bigger towns like shi fen, ping xi and jing tong 菁桐, crowds will release their tiandeng to pray and wish for a smooth year ahead.
and in shi fen, on yuan xiao, hundreds of tian dengs wil be released at one time, which the area is very famous for.
in fact, taiwan's yuan xiao festival is celebrated hugely around the country.
of them all, the 2 most famous ones are 盐水蜂炮 in tainan yanshui town 台南盐水镇 (http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/鹽水蜂炮)
and tian deng in taipei pingxi village.
hence, there is the saying 南蜂炮，北天灯。
from what i know about the feng pao, u need to wear protective gears because the firecrackers will actually shoot in all directions towards the crowd. so unless u watch from afar, multi-layers of good, protective clothes is a must.
but anyway, our main aim of going to ping xi village during this time is to witness the tiandeng festival.
***********************************************
arrived in shi fen and so happy that the weather is fairly good :D
love taking pics with railway tracks, especially like the intersection in the back..with the mountains in the background....
we spent the day walking around shi fen and visiting a few of its famous spots.
one of the "attractions" in shifen is the railway track which runs right in the middle of 2 rows of shophouses. so instead of crossing streets, u cross the railway track...
here comes the train *honk honk*
that ah mah isn't too worried about the train or the noise...
when the train is gone, the track functions like a normal street...as well as a photographic background for many tourists
shi fen's sights is as good as, if not better, than ping xi. probably cos it's a bigger town, there are more bridges over streams and canals, forming photogenic shots everywhere...
no canal in sg will look this clean and scenic.
one of the many suspension bridges
close up of the 4 ladies posing on the bridge...
pretty much like ping xi, almost any angle is a scenic shot...lush greenery, flowing water and rapids, bridges, broadwalks etc etc etc...
i'll the pics do the talking...
i stood here for a few minutes just to listen to the sound of water crashing over the rocks. not too loud like a gigantic waterfall....just enough to soothe and calm...
walking along the broadwalk that runs along the river/stream. mummy looks very calm and zen..or maybe she's just too sleepy to pose :P
smoothly flowing water with minimal disturbance to its surface. a different kind of calming effect...and i really like how the mountains are reflected in the water...
still on the broadwalk. if you look carefully (pic abit small), the water is actually very clear..can see the river bed
at the end of the broadwalk, we reach the first of the waterfalls we came to see
眼镜洞瀑布 (eyeglass cave waterfalls?) named so cos of the waterfalls through the middle of the 'cave' that made the cave look like a pair of eyeglass
closed up shot of the waterfalls
bridge over running water (is that a name of a song?) with the waterfalls in the background. i took a few pics from this angle..this is one of my fav...
after taking pics here, we continue a short walk to reach the famous waterfalls in shifen
十分大瀑布 (an interesting name...it can be 'shi fen's big waterfall' or 'a waterfall that is pretty big'...haha)
it's so famous, it needs to be protected and so must pay entrance fee to go into the 'waterfall reserve'. not too ex..about SGD$10 i think...
why is it famous? because it's taiwan's BIGGEST curtain waterfall. width 40m, height 20m and depth of its pool is 15m. i think i read somewhere that it is coined 'asia's niagra falls'...
on the calmer side of the falls. u can see a bit of the spray in the background, just above my head -_-
a shot of the calmly flowing water with the drop leading to the waterfalls
my fav shot of the famous waterfalls. the falls is pretty huge cos of the long and heavy rain the day before. during a dry spell, it doesn't look so intimidating with less 'ferocious' falls
a closer look at the falls. those 'blurry spots' are actually water droplets on my camera lens from the huge amount of spray generated by the falls. cannot really see the different layers of the falls cos so much water...
an even closer look. the sound was deafening. i had to shout to my mum when she was posing for pictures. i don't think anyone can fall down this falls and not be seriously injured...
i mentioned the spray earlier..this is how it looks like if u look across the pool at the bottom of the falls. blurry spots all over from the water droplets...
i took almost 30pics just at this attraction. luckily it's digital camera..otherwise will needs too many rolls of film....finally, driven by hunger and thorougly damp from head to toe from the spray, we started our walk back to the town area for lunch.
took a few pics along the way cos it was just TOO scenic...even took a few arty pics here and there, but really too many to upload. all i can say is...WOW :)
we had one of the yummiest lunch in shifen. taiwan's fried beehoon is super duper delicious. and it doesn't taste like beehoon, taste more like dang hoon 冬粉. and their glutinous rice (油饭) was super yummy too.... with our stomachs filled and blood sugar back to normal, we headed off to explore the town more...
i think cos the festival, the street market is more crowded than usual. and there are dozens of shop/stalls in this area selling tian dengs...pretty much like ping xi but more populated and less idyllic
one of the stalls had this sign to explain all the different colours and its meaning for the tian dengs. will try to translate from left to right:
white: peace and brightness (??); blue: longevity and prosperity; pink: loving relationship; orange: intelligence; purple: luck; yellow: strike gold; red: good fortune; 'peach red' (??): happy ending (??)
ok, my translation sucks..but something like that lah...
and tian deng is not just something to be released at night...
many people do it in daytime too..cos well, one can make wishes day or night..
and i guess deities are on duty 24/7 anyway :P
this pic looks kinda weird here cos the background is all white...
another one floating past the mountains.
i took like 6-7 pics of a few different colour tian dengs floating past the mountains. it's a different kind of feel compared to seeing them at night. in the day, u pay more attention to its colour, whereas at night, it feels like light of hope is rising into the skies...
higher and higher they float...messengers of hope....
(haha, that kinda rhymed..)
a few tian dengs were released wrongly, and actually caught fire when in the sky before dropping down. quite dangerous...one of them dropped quite close to us..but i wasn't fast enough to take a pic of the burning tian deng in the sky...
so when u hear someone shouting and pointing to the sky, look up and make sure there isn't a tian deng on fire dropping onto your head
while waiting for darkness to fall, we found a coalmine museum and decided to spend the last hour or so of daylight to learn more about coalmining. at the end of the tour, we took a ride in one of their modified mining carts along the old mining tracks...
by the time we reach the end of the ride..darkness has started to envelope the town...and we were on top of a hill! have to make our way down in the semi-darkness to return to the road that will lead us to the site of the festival...
on our way down, i looked up and saw a huge bunch of lights floating past above our heads
kind of look like millions of fireflies here..but at that time, it was a spectacular sight.
the festival has begun!
we quickly descended (or as fast as we can cos there was no streetlights and we had to feel our way down the hill) and made our way to the site of the festival (which i think is a huge field that had a stage erected on one side for the performances)
there will altogther be 12 'waves' of tian dengs to be released. each 'wave' will consist of about 200 normal-sized tian dengs and 1 gigantic tian deng. the gigantic tiandeng will usually be 'autographed' by some VIPs with wishes for the county/province/town etc...
the 'fireflies' was probably the 1st wave that was released...
as we walked to the site, a 2nd wave was released...
no my hands weren't shaking! the lanterns were just moving too fast!
we hurried to get to the site cos we dun wanna miss to see an upclose view of the release. it was super crowded..and there were SO many people there, with their hands holding their cameras up in the air and aiming...
made it in time to see the 3rd wave being released!
taken by YQ, her camera can capture faster than mine so less blur...
up, up and away....no words can describe how beautiful the sight was...
maybe this video can convey a little bit of how spectacular it was to see so many tiandengs being released at one go...
in between the waves, while waiting for the officials to get the tian dengs ready
(FYI, only officials are allowed to release the 200 tian dengs in the field. public can only release them in other areas...)
there will be some performance on the stage...
and then, the 4th wave was almost ready...the comperes were talking incessantly blah blah blah..
and right in the middle of the field, that gigantic tian deng i mentioned was being inflated...
the giant among the dwarves...and everyone got their cameras ready for the 4th wave..
here we go! 4th wave being released and all these people with their cameras up in the air trying to get a good shot
another short clip showing the difference between the giant and the 'dwarves'
after seeing the 4th wave, our lunch was all digested from the walking and 'wow-ing' we did...
so we head back to town (which is even more crowded now) to have dinner..
and everywhere, everyone is either releasing tian dengs on the railway track, or any open areas...and every now and then, there will be the sound of fireworks exploding in the skies..
very very festive...
somehow the train station doesn't look very festive. can see the smoke being 'cut' by the train's headlights. very smoky from all the burning fuel in the tiandeng and fireworks
but the day has wore our energy all off...so we head back to pingxi by train...
after our shower, the homestay's boss invited us down to have tang yuan 汤圆 cooked by his son. yes, eating tang yuan on yuan xiao is a tradition which i think most singaporeans dun really follow..
and so, the 3 young ones went down to have tang yuan and chit chat with the boss and his son. both of them are very humourous and we were kept entertained by them till our eyes couldn't stay open and we kept yawning..
that night, my mind kept replaying the scene of the 200 tian dengs floating up and away into the sky...
and i wondered if the deities can read every one of them before the fuel burns out and those wishes drop back down to the mortal world...
drifted off into another dreamless sleep....
to be continued...
it's scary when u look at the calender...
and realise that in the next 2 months, only got 2 free sat...
even scarier is that sensation of 'free fall'
when one loses control..and just fall...and fall..and fall
perhaps it's that..or maybe it's good'ol PMS...
super bad mood today... (sorry YQ, wasn't good company during lunch today)
what really triggered it off?
i also dun really know...
maybe the unfairness of the whole system is has finally wore my patience thin...
or maybe it's just the feeling of incompetence that plagued me
or maybe...
i'm just not happy.....
a question which i never found the answer to..
is why people always ask a 'sad' person to 'be happy'?
and they always say 'happy also like that, unhappy also like that. so why not choose to be happy?'
i guess wat i dun understand is why must i "choose" to be happy
if i am happy, i am happy..
if i am unhappy, i am unhappy..
no matter how i feel, it's impermanent..
eventually, happiness will fade...
unhappiness will go away
so is there something wrong with being in a state of 'not happy' and let nature take its own course...?
isn't it kind of a waste of energy to actively force oneself out of an emotion??
i couldn't make YQ understand my position...
in fact, i've yet to make anyone see from my point of view..
prefer to let myself feel the emotion..and then let it go away by itself..
perhaps i believe that when i am happy, i make full use of my happiness..
when i am unhappy, then just wait and let it go away...
this is based on the theory of impermanence...
nothing in life is gonna stay that way forever...
maybe some of u are gonna argue that i can make the unhappiness go away faster if i 'choose' to be happy...
i guess that's true for some people who have that kind of strength and endurance...
for me..it's just too much effort...and after trying it a few times, i realise that it's just easier to be in that feeling...rather than fight it....
but but, i dun mean it's good to dwell into a negative emotion
not 钻牛角尖.
wat i mean is to just feel the 'sadness' or 'anger' or watever negative feeling...
feel it rise..and then fall..and then disappear...
not to keep fueling it to rise further...
ooohhh well....
to each his/her view bah...
now the 'unhappiness' i felt in the afternoon is slowly ebbing away
maybe it's the 2 hour massage/facial that soothe my whole body..
or maybe it's just the knowledge that i can sleep till the sun rises tmr
or maybe nightfall brings a kind of peace and serenity
or maybe msn does have a healing power for me
or maybe it's being home...with mummy and daddy...
perhaps..it's all of the above
watever the reason...
all i hope for is a casual sunday....
maybe get some housekeeping and shopping done..
before the nightmare resumes on monday...
if only i can apply the impermanence theory to the unfairness in this world..
but it seems like unfairness is a permanent phenomenom...
here to stay..
just to remind us that life is imperfect..
deal with it...
and realise that in the next 2 months, only got 2 free sat...
even scarier is that sensation of 'free fall'
when one loses control..and just fall...and fall..and fall
perhaps it's that..or maybe it's good'ol PMS...
super bad mood today... (sorry YQ, wasn't good company during lunch today)
what really triggered it off?
i also dun really know...
maybe the unfairness of the whole system is has finally wore my patience thin...
or maybe it's just the feeling of incompetence that plagued me
or maybe...
i'm just not happy.....
a question which i never found the answer to..
is why people always ask a 'sad' person to 'be happy'?
and they always say 'happy also like that, unhappy also like that. so why not choose to be happy?'
i guess wat i dun understand is why must i "choose" to be happy
if i am happy, i am happy..
if i am unhappy, i am unhappy..
no matter how i feel, it's impermanent..
eventually, happiness will fade...
unhappiness will go away
so is there something wrong with being in a state of 'not happy' and let nature take its own course...?
isn't it kind of a waste of energy to actively force oneself out of an emotion??
i couldn't make YQ understand my position...
in fact, i've yet to make anyone see from my point of view..
prefer to let myself feel the emotion..and then let it go away by itself..
perhaps i believe that when i am happy, i make full use of my happiness..
when i am unhappy, then just wait and let it go away...
this is based on the theory of impermanence...
nothing in life is gonna stay that way forever...
maybe some of u are gonna argue that i can make the unhappiness go away faster if i 'choose' to be happy...
i guess that's true for some people who have that kind of strength and endurance...
for me..it's just too much effort...and after trying it a few times, i realise that it's just easier to be in that feeling...rather than fight it....
but but, i dun mean it's good to dwell into a negative emotion
not 钻牛角尖.
wat i mean is to just feel the 'sadness' or 'anger' or watever negative feeling...
feel it rise..and then fall..and then disappear...
not to keep fueling it to rise further...
ooohhh well....
to each his/her view bah...
now the 'unhappiness' i felt in the afternoon is slowly ebbing away
maybe it's the 2 hour massage/facial that soothe my whole body..
or maybe it's just the knowledge that i can sleep till the sun rises tmr
or maybe nightfall brings a kind of peace and serenity
or maybe msn does have a healing power for me
or maybe it's being home...with mummy and daddy...
perhaps..it's all of the above
watever the reason...
all i hope for is a casual sunday....
maybe get some housekeeping and shopping done..
before the nightmare resumes on monday...
if only i can apply the impermanence theory to the unfairness in this world..
but it seems like unfairness is a permanent phenomenom...
here to stay..
just to remind us that life is imperfect..
deal with it...
bored bored!!
I AM bored!!!!!!
argh..staying back to do stuff which i really dun care about is so BORING!
actually, it's not so much boring than it is just a total waste of time...
but..of course..being the 'scholar' *ppppfffftttt*
i cannot say no to tasks delegated...
or rather, i can say no, but i'll still have to do it anyway
-_-
i hate being labelled..
especially when it's a label which i dun even agree with...
just because i take the government's money to study a course i cannot pay for myself doesn't mean i have to take on roles that i don't like okay!
AND, i am paying back the government by working like a donkey now..
but i guess whatever efforts i put in is just NOT enough..
giving it my best shot is just not enough..
my best isn't enough..
so why even ask me to try!?
human made this world so complex that everyone is struggling to survive...
and then when we grow old, we become grumpy and can't wait to die..
but those who died made heaven and hell even more complex than the mortal world...
so people live longer...grow sicker but cannot die...becomes bed bound and contracted and loses even the basic right to stop living...
how sad are we?
the supposedly smartest species in the animal world..
yet we are slowly killing ourselves...
then trying to save ourselves..
then trying to die at the end of it all..
i want to be a hamster...
just run on the wheel, look cute while eating..then die after 1 year..
short and sweet...
~disillusioned~
I AM bored!!!!!!
argh..staying back to do stuff which i really dun care about is so BORING!
actually, it's not so much boring than it is just a total waste of time...
but..of course..being the 'scholar' *ppppfffftttt*
i cannot say no to tasks delegated...
or rather, i can say no, but i'll still have to do it anyway
-_-
i hate being labelled..
especially when it's a label which i dun even agree with...
just because i take the government's money to study a course i cannot pay for myself doesn't mean i have to take on roles that i don't like okay!
AND, i am paying back the government by working like a donkey now..
but i guess whatever efforts i put in is just NOT enough..
giving it my best shot is just not enough..
my best isn't enough..
so why even ask me to try!?
human made this world so complex that everyone is struggling to survive...
and then when we grow old, we become grumpy and can't wait to die..
but those who died made heaven and hell even more complex than the mortal world...
so people live longer...grow sicker but cannot die...becomes bed bound and contracted and loses even the basic right to stop living...
how sad are we?
the supposedly smartest species in the animal world..
yet we are slowly killing ourselves...
then trying to save ourselves..
then trying to die at the end of it all..
i want to be a hamster...
just run on the wheel, look cute while eating..then die after 1 year..
short and sweet...
~disillusioned~
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