你的拥抱，变得越来越松。
是没力气，还是没兴趣？
你的手心，感觉越来越冷。
是天气冷了，还是心凉了？
你的背影，离我越来越远。
是你往前走了，还是我在倒退？
没有痛过的心，完整的献给了你。
没有回头的机会，只剩下后悔的余地。
没有尝过爱情的滋味，所以无法自拔了。
没有放手的经验，所以终于心痛了。
不去想要挽留，只一味地要逃避。
逃到没有你的国度，让我静静疗伤。
不能站在你身边，我以为我会难过。
直到我闭上眼，才发现你的样子
已经模糊了。
转过身，背着你，向前走。
我的幸福，在等待。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
这天黑黑的星期六，
我要告诉自己，
“我的幸福，在等待”
it's been 9 days since i last found myself staring at the kitchen ceiling...
no more fainting *phew*
but my world refuse to return to normal...
even had to take MC on Mon cos of persistent, non-specific giddiness.
the extra day off helped just a teensy weensy bit...
tues...wed...thurs...fri..sat...
giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy...
nausea nausea nausea nausea nausea...
burp burp burp burp burp...
get the idea?
-_-
i sit still, but what i feel is that i am moving..
i walk straight, yet i find myself walking nearer to the wall with each step...
i close my eyes and i feel like i am riding Lethal Weapon again and again..
it is so not fun...
and worse still is that i am not unwell to the point i cannot work..
so while my patient is complaining "a bit giddy"..
i am feeling 'giddy giddy giddy!'
but still...
tahan and walk them..get them better so they can get out of the hospital...
terrible bout of nausea and giddiness on friday...
almost cannot go to work yesterday...
but waking up on sat morning with the usual intensity of rocking and swaying..
went to work...giddy giddy....
but managed to tahan all the way...
rocked and swayed my way home...
finally..
i decided since western medicine is just dismissing my symptoms as "?gastroenteritis" and "possible dengue"
i shall seek the help of TCM
the sinseh looked at me, and said "u look heaty"
i'm fairly impressed...
cos so far, all i hear is 'u look pale'
palpated pulse, took history from me...
diagnosis: heaty and humid GI tract (肠胃湿热)
treatment:
9 packets of brown powder
no cold food and drinks, no spicy food, no coconut milk, no oily food
i'm confined to eating porridge, warm water and room temperature fruits
but..
if doing that is gonna stop my world from rocking and swaying...
i'll do it!
just please please...
let me get off this weird ride...
it's not fun...
and i'm really really sick...of it.
no more fainting *phew*
but my world refuse to return to normal...
even had to take MC on Mon cos of persistent, non-specific giddiness.
the extra day off helped just a teensy weensy bit...
tues...wed...thurs...fri..sat...
giddy giddy giddy giddy giddy...
nausea nausea nausea nausea nausea...
burp burp burp burp burp...
get the idea?
-_-
i sit still, but what i feel is that i am moving..
i walk straight, yet i find myself walking nearer to the wall with each step...
i close my eyes and i feel like i am riding Lethal Weapon again and again..
it is so not fun...
and worse still is that i am not unwell to the point i cannot work..
so while my patient is complaining "a bit giddy"..
i am feeling 'giddy giddy giddy!'
but still...
tahan and walk them..get them better so they can get out of the hospital...
terrible bout of nausea and giddiness on friday...
almost cannot go to work yesterday...
but waking up on sat morning with the usual intensity of rocking and swaying..
went to work...giddy giddy....
but managed to tahan all the way...
rocked and swayed my way home...
finally..
i decided since western medicine is just dismissing my symptoms as "?gastroenteritis" and "possible dengue"
i shall seek the help of TCM
the sinseh looked at me, and said "u look heaty"
i'm fairly impressed...
cos so far, all i hear is 'u look pale'
palpated pulse, took history from me...
diagnosis: heaty and humid GI tract (肠胃湿热)
treatment:
9 packets of brown powder
no cold food and drinks, no spicy food, no coconut milk, no oily food
i'm confined to eating porridge, warm water and room temperature fruits
but..
if doing that is gonna stop my world from rocking and swaying...
i'll do it!
just please please...
let me get off this weird ride...
it's not fun...
and i'm really really sick...of it.
July 2001, Alexandra Hospital
One month into TA job at AH. Been learning lotsa stuff from HH, as well the other PTs.
Just finished seeing a pt with HH. it was the first suction case i've helped her with. i didn't find it too traumatising, though i did feel very sorry for the poor guy who cannot cough out his own phelgm *sigh*
HH is writing her notes, and i'm standing just beside her waiting for her to finish. There's a smell of s*** as one of the pt has just passed motion. the smell is unpleasant...and i feel weird. Feels like my limbs are turning into jelly. maybe it's low blood sugar. i popped a mentos into my mouth, hoping that the sugar can last me till lunch...
i turned to HH and said, "i don't feel well......." the ward turned dark, the room spinned...
when i opened my eyes again, i was lying on the floor, HH and a few nurses trying to transfer me from the floor onto a trolley...
and then,i was being wheeled at high speed towards A&E......i had to be admitted
one week later...
and the final diagnosis was....
Syncope secondary to Iron Deficiency Anemia -_-
November 2001, Escape Themepark
A very hot day. today was supposed to be an advance celebration of my bday, so we came to Escape as i get free entry (born in Nov)...
We've tried almost all the rides..and i was starting to feel a little bit tired and hungry. Nonetheless, i wanted to go onto the Viking with him.
the ride started...swinging forwards and backwards, higher and higher...
i felt the usual free-fall-feeling, and then, something weirder...as if my head is no longer attached to my body, and is performing its own free-fall stunt....
the ride took forever to finish. Stepping onto the sturdy platform, i still felt the swinging, and a familiar lurching in my gut...i think i'm gonna throw up. i hurried to get to the toilet...leaving him behind. as i descended the stairs, the world started to spin...started to turn dark...
i waited for him at the bottome of the stairs. he looked angry. he asked 'why are you walking so fast?" i tried to answer...all i see is darkness...and then, i see and hear nothing...
when i opened my eyes again, he was carrying me and running around frantically, asking for the first aid station. a kind-hearted auntie gave him some medicated oil to rub on my temples. themepark staff drove a cubby to bring me to the first aid room...
BP normal, HR normal...the first aid staff said 'you haven't eaten for a few hours, maybe you fainted cos you're too hungry?"
few days later...
told my doctor on my TCU re: fainting at Escape. He referred me to see a neurologist...and in the end, the neurologist said, "You need to monitor your own status. Eat regular meals, keep hydrated and make sure you continue you Fe tablets. No need to follow-up with me."
-_-
13 July 2007, Home
Vomitted and diarrhoea in morning...went to see doc and started to have chills and fever and body aches. came home, popped pandaol and the anti-emetics+diarrhoea pills and went to sleep...
woke up 2.5 hours later feeling better. Decided to try and cook porridge. Went into the kitchen, started to wash the rice to cook porridge while having a thermometer in mouth. *beep beep beep*. checked temp= 37.6. Slight fever. took thermometer out...and then it happened...
a bout of nausea...then the familiar jelly-like feeling in my legs. i leaned onto the kitchen sink...and lower myself down onto the kitchen floor. the familiar darkening...spinning...and then...nothing...
consciousness crept in slowly...an ache in my head...cold sweat dripping off my head...
i opened my eyes and found myself looking at the kitchen ceiling.
i fainted...again....
couldn't get up..and this time, there's no HH+nurses...no one is at home...i felt sick, weak...too weak even to move my limbs.
luckily, at this moment, i heard keys in my front door. someone's home. My brother appear at the kitchen entrance. "what are you doing?" i heard him ask...
"i fainted"i replied. i tried to sit up...twice...but each time i sit up, the world turns dark and spins..and i had to lie down again (onto the not-so-clean kitchen floor).
My brother had to carry me from the kitchen to my bedroom...
i was sweating profusely..cold sweat that just kept popping onto my skin...
took BP using the BP set we have at home: 90/54 in supine. Crap... HR=84
when the sweating stopped, i sat up and took BP again: 94/55 in sitting...not too bad...but HR was 97...
my brother suggested eating something..and to drink fluids. i downed 1 can of 100plus, and some biscuits.
felt better...took BP in standing:77/46, HR=115. omg...
brother had to go out..and fearing that i'll faint again, i stayed on my till mum came home. then migrated myself into the living room and spent the rest of the day on the sofa...
BP remained low for that day...spiked temp at night 38deg....i was confined to the sofa, only managed to walk from toilet and room when i had to wash up to sleep...
mum said,"if still not feeling better tmr, ask gor to send u to hospital ok?"
the next day...
feeling much better. BP=98/63, HR=76 (sitting); 100/59, HR90 (standing)
managed to eat and even packed my room a little bit.
today...
better than yesterday...but still groggy and with occ nausea...
BP=97/64, HR=76 (sitting); 114/72, HR=105 (Standing)
the feeling of not-well...but not sick enough...
sigh...
hopefully by tmr, i'll be back to normal...
and hopefully for the rest of my life...
the world will not turn dark and spin..
and i will not find myself lying on the floor when i opened my eyes...
One month into TA job at AH. Been learning lotsa stuff from HH, as well the other PTs.
Just finished seeing a pt with HH. it was the first suction case i've helped her with. i didn't find it too traumatising, though i did feel very sorry for the poor guy who cannot cough out his own phelgm *sigh*
HH is writing her notes, and i'm standing just beside her waiting for her to finish. There's a smell of s*** as one of the pt has just passed motion. the smell is unpleasant...and i feel weird. Feels like my limbs are turning into jelly. maybe it's low blood sugar. i popped a mentos into my mouth, hoping that the sugar can last me till lunch...
i turned to HH and said, "i don't feel well......." the ward turned dark, the room spinned...
when i opened my eyes again, i was lying on the floor, HH and a few nurses trying to transfer me from the floor onto a trolley...
and then,i was being wheeled at high speed towards A&E......i had to be admitted
one week later...
and the final diagnosis was....
Syncope secondary to Iron Deficiency Anemia -_-
November 2001, Escape Themepark
A very hot day. today was supposed to be an advance celebration of my bday, so we came to Escape as i get free entry (born in Nov)...
We've tried almost all the rides..and i was starting to feel a little bit tired and hungry. Nonetheless, i wanted to go onto the Viking with him.
the ride started...swinging forwards and backwards, higher and higher...
i felt the usual free-fall-feeling, and then, something weirder...as if my head is no longer attached to my body, and is performing its own free-fall stunt....
the ride took forever to finish. Stepping onto the sturdy platform, i still felt the swinging, and a familiar lurching in my gut...i think i'm gonna throw up. i hurried to get to the toilet...leaving him behind. as i descended the stairs, the world started to spin...started to turn dark...
i waited for him at the bottome of the stairs. he looked angry. he asked 'why are you walking so fast?" i tried to answer...all i see is darkness...and then, i see and hear nothing...
when i opened my eyes again, he was carrying me and running around frantically, asking for the first aid station. a kind-hearted auntie gave him some medicated oil to rub on my temples. themepark staff drove a cubby to bring me to the first aid room...
BP normal, HR normal...the first aid staff said 'you haven't eaten for a few hours, maybe you fainted cos you're too hungry?"
few days later...
told my doctor on my TCU re: fainting at Escape. He referred me to see a neurologist...and in the end, the neurologist said, "You need to monitor your own status. Eat regular meals, keep hydrated and make sure you continue you Fe tablets. No need to follow-up with me."
-_-
13 July 2007, Home
Vomitted and diarrhoea in morning...went to see doc and started to have chills and fever and body aches. came home, popped pandaol and the anti-emetics+diarrhoea pills and went to sleep...
woke up 2.5 hours later feeling better. Decided to try and cook porridge. Went into the kitchen, started to wash the rice to cook porridge while having a thermometer in mouth. *beep beep beep*. checked temp= 37.6. Slight fever. took thermometer out...and then it happened...
a bout of nausea...then the familiar jelly-like feeling in my legs. i leaned onto the kitchen sink...and lower myself down onto the kitchen floor. the familiar darkening...spinning...and then...nothing...
consciousness crept in slowly...an ache in my head...cold sweat dripping off my head...
i opened my eyes and found myself looking at the kitchen ceiling.
i fainted...again....
couldn't get up..and this time, there's no HH+nurses...no one is at home...i felt sick, weak...too weak even to move my limbs.
luckily, at this moment, i heard keys in my front door. someone's home. My brother appear at the kitchen entrance. "what are you doing?" i heard him ask...
"i fainted"i replied. i tried to sit up...twice...but each time i sit up, the world turns dark and spins..and i had to lie down again (onto the not-so-clean kitchen floor).
My brother had to carry me from the kitchen to my bedroom...
i was sweating profusely..cold sweat that just kept popping onto my skin...
took BP using the BP set we have at home: 90/54 in supine. Crap... HR=84
when the sweating stopped, i sat up and took BP again: 94/55 in sitting...not too bad...but HR was 97...
my brother suggested eating something..and to drink fluids. i downed 1 can of 100plus, and some biscuits.
felt better...took BP in standing:77/46, HR=115. omg...
brother had to go out..and fearing that i'll faint again, i stayed on my till mum came home. then migrated myself into the living room and spent the rest of the day on the sofa...
BP remained low for that day...spiked temp at night 38deg....i was confined to the sofa, only managed to walk from toilet and room when i had to wash up to sleep...
mum said,"if still not feeling better tmr, ask gor to send u to hospital ok?"
the next day...
feeling much better. BP=98/63, HR=76 (sitting); 100/59, HR90 (standing)
managed to eat and even packed my room a little bit.
today...
better than yesterday...but still groggy and with occ nausea...
BP=97/64, HR=76 (sitting); 114/72, HR=105 (Standing)
the feeling of not-well...but not sick enough...
sigh...
hopefully by tmr, i'll be back to normal...
and hopefully for the rest of my life...
the world will not turn dark and spin..
and i will not find myself lying on the floor when i opened my eyes...
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
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