Recently alot of people are asking me "so, when are you getting married?"
OK, so I am at fault cos I've been talking about HDB flats...
Why would an unmarried individual talk about HDB flat?
1) Reach age 35, can buy flat liaoz
2) Going to get married
3) Already married and looking for place

Since I am not in 1 or 3, I must be option 2.

Not.

OK, I have been giving people the wrong idea...apologies for the miscommunication.
And silly me has even blurted out which month I hope to get married in (to some of the closer friends)
Tonight, in hindsight, perhaps I have been planning too much on my own.
Not as if I can get married to me, myself and I...though I really wish I can....
What exactly is happening on the other end?
The end that gets onto one knee, presents a ring and a bouquet of flowers and say the magical words?
The end that should be stressing and fussing over HLEs, BTOs, SOBF etc?

Right, certain responsibilities have to be shared...
So...apparently I am the one with more time to look at the HDB website every other day...
(Apparently I live in a parallel dimension where I get more hours per day)
While I'm at it, why not I log-on to an online jeweller and purchase my own ring?
Oh wait, actually, since I am online, might as well go to the online florist and order my own bouquet of flowers?
Then have these 2 items delivered to my place, imagine that Jay Chou is on one knee and saying the magical words and happily say 'I DO!!!'

A panda reading this post is going to be huffy and unhappy.

Well, too bad.
Cos the owner of this blog is a very fed-up gal.

Sick and tired of having to nag nag nag...remind remind remind...check check check...stress stress stress
A nicer gal will probably be ok to help out with these chores...
So, I am NOT a nice gal. Told you so. (ps: not too late for you to back out of it)

People who know me well will know that I hate to lead.
I am a follower/do-er...you give me a task, I'll get it done. If it's not done, believe me, I will have a good reason for it.
Hence, if I give you a task, you jolly well get it done or be prepared with a very good reason why you did not do so.

Perhaps, it's really all about perception.
I perceive these as important, hence I'll get it done.
So...are these not important for the other end to take note of?
Or is everything 'in the pipeline'?

Well, FYI...I can't be waiting aimlessly for your plans to come out of the pipeline.

So, show me some results.
Quit planning and start doing something...
Before I quit waiting and all your plans will be wasted...

Or not...you can save your plans for the next girl who is willing to be the proactive one...

~annoyed++++~

On a totally different note...

Recently shared with a colleague that the one thing I missed about main side is the social support...
The after-work-'let's go for tea/ice cream'-thingie which is missing in my life...
And all of a sudden, I wanted to bawl my eyes out...

Maybe because I am in the in-between stage...
Too old to hang out with the young ones..
Too young to understand the mature ones
No family commitments (yet) and nowhere to go after work...

Or maybe, it just stem from the fact that I am not exactly the sociable type...

Whatever the reason, mood has been low...
Not the 'life is meaningless and I am so lousy' kind of low...
Just the general 'got noone to talk to' kind of low...

Summoning all my positive energy and trying to apply some positive thinking into my life

Just for this week...let me dwell into my negative thoughts and sulk
Because when next week rolls around, I will no longer enjoy the kind of attention I've received this week
Next week, I have to bounce back up and be the smiley face to cheer up others...

~emo+++~

原来，你什么也不想要。
可是，你可否想过，你不想要的，对别人来说，是很重要的，甚至是必要的？

原来，你什么都想要。
但是，你可否想过，你要的，别人不要给、不想给、是没有必要给的？

这两个月来，许多大事小事接二连三发生。
而我的结论是，我们永远无法给予别人他们要的，却一直提供别人不想要的。
所以，我们总在要求，却永远无法感到满足。

知足啊知足，为什么你总是那么捉摸不定？
若即若离，让人以为已经找到你了，才恍然大悟其实根本不是如此。

不久前，为了一封简讯，我气到大哭。
我不明白，为什么可以有这样我行我素的人？
也在不久前，我把另一个人气到落泪...或许不是气，而是委屈。

一直到最近我才知道，原来那天我变成了那个我不解的我行我素的人，才造成别人的委屈。
也就在最近，我才理解，原来不是我行我素。
只是因为她不给我我想要的，所以我觉得她自私无理。
只是因为我不给她她想要的，所以她觉得我对她不公平。

科尔蒙作怪，这个周末我是超 emo 又非常 short fuse。
突然觉得做人 - 难，顾全大局 - 难。
也突然很想任性地告诉大家：管你们啊！我 happy 最重要！

可是理智告诉我，我 happy 是不够的。
在我的世界里，别人的快乐和我的快乐是平等重要的。
所以我做不到那个人的我行我素，也不愿意委屈自己去成全另一个人的需要。

是与非，对于错，在每个人的字典里都是不同的定义。

如果我行我素的同时，可以顾及到别人的感受与需求，
在不失自己的原则下让别人开心，那何乐而不为呢？

同样的，如果要求别人时，先检讨自己的需求是否太自我，
或许别人就不会拒你于千里之外了。

不要撕破脸，那一切好说嘛。
在下最后通牒时，问一下自己，问一下旁观者：
我这样的要求，合理吗?

~寻找知足~