i've reached the stage of fatness
whereby i am unwilling to look at myself in the mirror.
the stage when sitting down,
i can feel the flabs of my tummy
'oozing' over the waistband of my trackpants
the stage where i retracting my head
is causing triple chins.
darn. gotta do something about it. i am almost reaching the stage where i can't fit into my jeans. *argh*
yeah yeah, all girls complain they are fat...even when some of these girls really need to put ON weight, not lose it. but i am not talking abt losing weight here. i've long given up hope trying to lose weight. gone were the days when i can stand onto the weighing scale and still hope that i can remain in the 40+ kg range. i am not disclosing my actual weight on cyberspace...but for my height, not being in the 40+ range is almost equivalent to being near to overweight. *bleah* but,i am not too worried about weight..cos muscles weigh more than fats. so i have muscles, i have more weight. no worries there...
what i need to do is to lose flabs.
i.e. i have to start exercising MORE..and probably go back to doing BodyPump to get some of those muscle definitions back. new classes have started at the uni sports centre...BodyCombat sounds fun..and BodyBalance is what i need to get my flexibility back (hopefully one day,i can go back to dancing...)
another i need to do is to stop eating so much. i've been junking way too much. perhaps it's time for me to really watch those carbohydrates i've been overloading on. narh, dun get me wrong. i am not going to go onto those low-carb-high-protein diet. i just need to get back to my usual balanced diet. i need more veggies, more fruits...less meat and less carbs.
hmmm...time to draw up my "lose the flabs" plan and to discipline myself into following it. i've lost alot of self-discipline...and that is really not good.
and if u are worried that i would become anorexic, u can stop worrying. a junkie like me can never become anorexic. there is a higher chance of me clogging up my arteries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
别人的眼光，
是一种威胁。
害怕他们看透我的心事，
不想让他人看出我的秘密。
你的眼光，
则是一种鼓励。
让我觉得自己还是有用的，
把心里的不安拂平了。
我的眼光，
你察觉到了吗？
当我看着你，你有什么样的感受？
我想
不会有什么吧。
因为在你的眼里，
我只是萍水相逢的过路人。
留下的脚印
很快被时间的浪花冲走。
眼睛是灵魂之窗
表达了内心最深的思想，
最贴心的欲望。
所以，
我不敢正眼看你，
怕你看出我的心里话。
而你，
也从来不正眼看我，
因为，你其实从来，就没有向我的方向看过一眼。
i am proud of my ability to drag myself out of bed at 9.15am this morning, considering i only managed to get to sleep at 3.30am. actually already sms-ed trudy last night to tell her i won't be able to wake up in time to go for the 10.30 session at the temple...but when my alarm went off at 9am, i lay there in bed and thought,"either i sleep for one more hour and go for the 11.30 session, or i get up now and not waste one more hour in bed." and from somewhere deep within, i decided to wake up and get ready to go to the 10.30 session. and i do applaud myself for being able to resist the temptation to sleep more.
clubbing at Next-Blue was...okay. maybe cos i wasn't in a good mood to begin with, despite the sugar-high from Oreos prior to going. at the start, it was quite good actually. maybe cos it's a bigger place, so the music din seem that loud...and cos i wasn't in heels, my feet din die and i was happy to dance all night. but i guess the music just wasn't my cup of tea...and i got really really bored...and the smokey atmosphere (which i believe is not just cigarettes...) made me feel like i was stuck in a burning building.
[at wing&joanna's place] wing, joanna, alicia and i preparing to leave for Next-Blue.
but i was really impressed with Vinh's performance. actually, i was impressed with all the performing dancers. they were so good...make me feel ashamed of my absolutelylousywaybelowaverage dancing.
anyway, now my eyes are dry and sore..and i have a throbbing headache. muscles are achy all over (and i have no idea why cos i din dance that much) only thing i am grateful for is that my feet is not aching. gotta work on case pres for the rest of the weekend. and part of me is still upset over that stupid feedback on thurs. *bleah* i guess letting go isn't as easy as it sounds...
so i am comfort-eating on the yummy tiramisu-biscuit-thingie wing and joanna brought last night (thanks girls! and also big thanks for the oreos...) while i am typing this entry...
my bed is calling out to me...and i think i would succumb to its 'seduction' cos my body is far too achy. maybe i am falling sick.
or maybe..i am just far too homesick after thursday to summon up enough motivation to resist any kind of 'seduction' now. *sigh..........*
**************************************************************
was watching HZGG (again...) while eating my exceptionally LARGE portion of pasta. as usual, i overcooked and as always, i finished everything. with the way i am eating/pigging/bingeing/trashing/junking, no wonder i look so fat in these photos
dunno is it the angle that i was taken...or cos i have my handphone in my pocket..or the way i stand..but my tummy looks huge. ARGH!
okay, i was wearing a rather large jacket...but that doesn't explain my ROUND ROUND ROUND face. AARRGGHH!
i'm depressed. i'm homesick. i'm bloated.
and deep inside my heart, i yearn for someone for me to call and whine.
yet i know that he does not exist.
and i can only sit in front of my comp
and whine on cyberspace
complaining about my ballooning face/tummy/arse.
JC is singing from my speakers.
《东风破》
听得我心好痛。
《你听得到》
这句话，我向谁说？
好像很想你，
却不知你是谁。
一个没有名字的身影，
在我眼前晃来晃去。
伸出手，
抓到的只有空气，
摸到的只是泪湿的枕头。
i am jumping from english to chinese and back to english again.
as if reflecting how confused i am feeling right now.
suddenly recall this line from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
"fat, single and ready to mingle"
in my case...
"fat, single but socially incapable to mingle"
Take away my fears
Wipe away my tears
hold my hands and let me know,
that you are always here.
clubbing at Next-Blue was...okay. maybe cos i wasn't in a good mood to begin with, despite the sugar-high from Oreos prior to going. at the start, it was quite good actually. maybe cos it's a bigger place, so the music din seem that loud...and cos i wasn't in heels, my feet din die and i was happy to dance all night. but i guess the music just wasn't my cup of tea...and i got really really bored...and the smokey atmosphere (which i believe is not just cigarettes...) made me feel like i was stuck in a burning building.
[at wing&joanna's place] wing, joanna, alicia and i preparing to leave for Next-Blue.
but i was really impressed with Vinh's performance. actually, i was impressed with all the performing dancers. they were so good...make me feel ashamed of my absolutelylousywaybelowaverage dancing.
anyway, now my eyes are dry and sore..and i have a throbbing headache. muscles are achy all over (and i have no idea why cos i din dance that much) only thing i am grateful for is that my feet is not aching. gotta work on case pres for the rest of the weekend. and part of me is still upset over that stupid feedback on thurs. *bleah* i guess letting go isn't as easy as it sounds...
so i am comfort-eating on the yummy tiramisu-biscuit-thingie wing and joanna brought last night (thanks girls! and also big thanks for the oreos...) while i am typing this entry...
my bed is calling out to me...and i think i would succumb to its 'seduction' cos my body is far too achy. maybe i am falling sick.
or maybe..i am just far too homesick after thursday to summon up enough motivation to resist any kind of 'seduction' now. *sigh..........*
**************************************************************
was watching HZGG (again...) while eating my exceptionally LARGE portion of pasta. as usual, i overcooked and as always, i finished everything. with the way i am eating/pigging/bingeing/trashing/junking, no wonder i look so fat in these photos
dunno is it the angle that i was taken...or cos i have my handphone in my pocket..or the way i stand..but my tummy looks huge. ARGH!
okay, i was wearing a rather large jacket...but that doesn't explain my ROUND ROUND ROUND face. AARRGGHH!
i'm depressed. i'm homesick. i'm bloated.
and deep inside my heart, i yearn for someone for me to call and whine.
yet i know that he does not exist.
and i can only sit in front of my comp
and whine on cyberspace
complaining about my ballooning face/tummy/arse.
JC is singing from my speakers.
《东风破》
听得我心好痛。
《你听得到》
这句话，我向谁说？
好像很想你，
却不知你是谁。
一个没有名字的身影，
在我眼前晃来晃去。
伸出手，
抓到的只有空气，
摸到的只是泪湿的枕头。
i am jumping from english to chinese and back to english again.
as if reflecting how confused i am feeling right now.
suddenly recall this line from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
"fat, single and ready to mingle"
in my case...
"fat, single but socially incapable to mingle"
Take away my fears
Wipe away my tears
hold my hands and let me know,
that you are always here.
remember in one of my previous entries i said i am not gonna get good feedback from my supervisor?
oh man. i am so correct when i said that..cos i received the WORST feedback today
and now, i just wanna "hide under my quilt and die". that's what i just said to Joy who had her last placement there. poor girl have to listen to all my ranting. thank you girl! *BIG BIG HUG*
this placement has done three things for me
1) put me off going into Geronotology much MUCH MORE than i ever felt
2) i dun ever EVER wanna go back to RMH-RP EVER again
3) i want to go into paediatrics and never have to deal with old people.
so in conclusion, i dun like treating old people. they can be nice to chat to and a pleasure to work with, but this bloody placement just totally put me off treating them. what could have been an easy-going 4 weeks is turning into the nightmare of my physiostudent life. wish i can go back to my paeds placement days. 16 days of fun and enjoyment...of playing and hugging kids...
one more week!!!! omg, please let this coming week zoom past!!!
***********************************************************
many thanks to weipeng who told me 2 very LAME jokes. lame as they were, they manage to coax a laugh out of me.
an ant walked over a pile of shit. how come there's only 4 footprints? (FYI, ants have 6 legs)
...answer? cos the shit is smelly, so the ant used 2 'hands' to cover its nose
yes yes, i know...ants dun have 'hands' and nose...but u get the idea yeah?
why is superman's top so tight?
because.........there is a 'S" on his top
yeah yeah..lame jokes. but these lame jokes cheered me up that teensy weensy bit.
hope it manage to bring some laughter to come of ur lives too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday to U!
Happy Birthday to U!
Happy Birthday to Daddy
Happy Birthday to U!
oh man. i am so correct when i said that..cos i received the WORST feedback today
and now, i just wanna "hide under my quilt and die". that's what i just said to Joy who had her last placement there. poor girl have to listen to all my ranting. thank you girl! *BIG BIG HUG*
this placement has done three things for me
1) put me off going into Geronotology much MUCH MORE than i ever felt
2) i dun ever EVER wanna go back to RMH-RP EVER again
3) i want to go into paediatrics and never have to deal with old people.
so in conclusion, i dun like treating old people. they can be nice to chat to and a pleasure to work with, but this bloody placement just totally put me off treating them. what could have been an easy-going 4 weeks is turning into the nightmare of my physiostudent life. wish i can go back to my paeds placement days. 16 days of fun and enjoyment...of playing and hugging kids...
one more week!!!! omg, please let this coming week zoom past!!!
***********************************************************
many thanks to weipeng who told me 2 very LAME jokes. lame as they were, they manage to coax a laugh out of me.
an ant walked over a pile of shit. how come there's only 4 footprints? (FYI, ants have 6 legs)
...answer? cos the shit is smelly, so the ant used 2 'hands' to cover its nose
yes yes, i know...ants dun have 'hands' and nose...but u get the idea yeah?
why is superman's top so tight?
because.........there is a 'S" on his top
yeah yeah..lame jokes. but these lame jokes cheered me up that teensy weensy bit.
hope it manage to bring some laughter to come of ur lives too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday to U!
Happy Birthday to U!
Happy Birthday to Daddy
Happy Birthday to U!
hydro is good. warm water and just supervising exercises is great. no need to think, just make sure my patient's head stay about the water. *bwah*
but, hydro is not good when *ahem* the time isn't right.
i can almost see the guys reading my blog cringing and clicking away. *wuahaha* ok ok, shall not make anyone uncomfortable. but before i completely close this topic, let me whine...
*OUCH OUCH OUCH*the girls would know why i am *ouch* ing. i need a back massage...actually, scrape that. i need a full body massage. head to toes, every single muscle palpable by hands (except my abs and pelvic floor, thank you very much).
ok, whining completed.
back to researching for case pres next week. can't believe i have to do case pres for every clinic block.
5 more days...and counting. gonna get feedback tmr morning. *bleah* confirm not good one. sianz lah...this year gets crappier and crappier.
and go uni on friday! wah kaoz! can't even get decent rest over weekend.
then again, lack of decent rest is probably because there's so much social stuff going on. korean drama marathon on friday evening, followed by clubbing at next-blue (cos a friend is performing, not cos i have been converted to a clubbing fanatic. in fact, the more i club, the more i realise i am not a clubbing girl. wuahaha)
so my whole friday is gone. sat would be spent trying to recover from friday..and sunday spent on case pres. then monday would come along...ARGH!!
oh well, at least next monday would be my last monday in gerontology. YYYAAAYYYY!!!
crap. supposed to be researching for case pres 10mins ago. yet i've just spent another10mins and 30 secs typing this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
当初，
想你想你，想你在何处。
等你等你，等你的留言。
盼你盼你，盼你的出现。
爱你爱你，爱你的一切。
恨我恨我，恨我太懦弱。
怨我怨我，怨我怕寂寞。
怪我怪我，怪我的执着。
气我气我，气我只沉默。
如今，
不想你，越想越是心痛。
不等你，再等也只是空。
不盼你，期盼成了恶梦。
不爱你，疼爱已无影踪。
不恨我，将恨变成勇气。
不怨我，哀怨埋进心里。
不怪我，责怪毫无意义。
不气我，生气只是逃避。
but, hydro is not good when *ahem* the time isn't right.
i can almost see the guys reading my blog cringing and clicking away. *wuahaha* ok ok, shall not make anyone uncomfortable. but before i completely close this topic, let me whine...
*OUCH OUCH OUCH*the girls would know why i am *ouch* ing. i need a back massage...actually, scrape that. i need a full body massage. head to toes, every single muscle palpable by hands (except my abs and pelvic floor, thank you very much).
ok, whining completed.
back to researching for case pres next week. can't believe i have to do case pres for every clinic block.
5 more days...and counting. gonna get feedback tmr morning. *bleah* confirm not good one. sianz lah...this year gets crappier and crappier.
and go uni on friday! wah kaoz! can't even get decent rest over weekend.
then again, lack of decent rest is probably because there's so much social stuff going on. korean drama marathon on friday evening, followed by clubbing at next-blue (cos a friend is performing, not cos i have been converted to a clubbing fanatic. in fact, the more i club, the more i realise i am not a clubbing girl. wuahaha)
so my whole friday is gone. sat would be spent trying to recover from friday..and sunday spent on case pres. then monday would come along...ARGH!!
oh well, at least next monday would be my last monday in gerontology. YYYAAAYYYY!!!
crap. supposed to be researching for case pres 10mins ago. yet i've just spent another10mins and 30 secs typing this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
当初，
想你想你，想你在何处。
等你等你，等你的留言。
盼你盼你，盼你的出现。
爱你爱你，爱你的一切。
恨我恨我，恨我太懦弱。
怨我怨我，怨我怕寂寞。
怪我怪我，怪我的执着。
气我气我，气我只沉默。
如今，
不想你，越想越是心痛。
不等你，再等也只是空。
不盼你，期盼成了恶梦。
不爱你，疼爱已无影踪。
不恨我，将恨变成勇气。
不怨我，哀怨埋进心里。
不怪我，责怪毫无意义。
不气我，生气只是逃避。
some ppl once told me that applying for qantas frequent flyer is a waste cos i am only flying to and from Aussie, won't ever earn enough points to redeem anything. but i went ahead and do it anyway...i mean,membership is free mah..why not? haha..typical singaporean mentality.
and now, i am SO happy i did it..cos in the last 3 years, i've accumulated enough points to redeem 2 out of 3 domestic flights for my end of year trip. WOO HOO!! so instead of paying more than AUD$300, i am only paying half of that (cos need to pay for airport tax and also for the one flight that i couldn't redeem.
anyway, insignificant detail of my life that i decided to share for no reason whatsoever. *bleah
************************************************************
went clubbing on sat night..
I'm wearing my new top, which i think looks very very nice. *thick skinned* i've received several comments that i look different(one of my friends even said i look prettier *blush*)hmm..really meh? i guess it once again reaffirms the power make-up and good lighting (like my ball photos...and that's also due to a good camera). also, these photos are taken with a phone..so the resolution not very good..hence giving the illusion that i look different/prettier. *bleah*
and still suffering from its consequences. or at least, i am putting the blame on clubbing instead of being completelytotallyutterlyomgwth BORED with gerontology.
today, my supervisor said "it's ur last week next week yeah? wow, time goes by so fast." and i replied with a "ermm..ok.." and she said,"or was it slow for u?" and in a moment of sheer fustration, i said,"yeah."
so i guess my supervisor ain't gonna be too impressed with me.
though i was pretty touched by one of my patients today. at the end of the physio session, she gave me a kiss on my forehead as a gesture of gratitude. *awwww*
just realised that the first kiss i received since my break-up is from a 95 year old lady.
and my "i can't do it" lady is now at least trying, though she still keeps saying "i can't do it". and she was really sweet too. she would hold my hand and tell me "you are a very good teacher - young, pretty and smart. very good" *awwww*
ah well. grumble and grumble also no use. still got 6 more days to go on this clinic...2 more weeks...one case pres and then, it's HOLIDAYS.
melbourne weather has returned to its gloomycold state. can't wait for spring to come...can't wait for summer to come...
can't wait to board that plane which fly me to brisbane to meet my family for my end of year trip.
and now, i am SO happy i did it..cos in the last 3 years, i've accumulated enough points to redeem 2 out of 3 domestic flights for my end of year trip. WOO HOO!! so instead of paying more than AUD$300, i am only paying half of that (cos need to pay for airport tax and also for the one flight that i couldn't redeem.
anyway, insignificant detail of my life that i decided to share for no reason whatsoever. *bleah
************************************************************
went clubbing on sat night..
I'm wearing my new top, which i think looks very very nice. *thick skinned* i've received several comments that i look different(one of my friends even said i look prettier *blush*)hmm..really meh? i guess it once again reaffirms the power make-up and good lighting (like my ball photos...and that's also due to a good camera). also, these photos are taken with a phone..so the resolution not very good..hence giving the illusion that i look different/prettier. *bleah*
and still suffering from its consequences. or at least, i am putting the blame on clubbing instead of being completelytotallyutterlyomgwth BORED with gerontology.
today, my supervisor said "it's ur last week next week yeah? wow, time goes by so fast." and i replied with a "ermm..ok.." and she said,"or was it slow for u?" and in a moment of sheer fustration, i said,"yeah."
so i guess my supervisor ain't gonna be too impressed with me.
though i was pretty touched by one of my patients today. at the end of the physio session, she gave me a kiss on my forehead as a gesture of gratitude. *awwww*
just realised that the first kiss i received since my break-up is from a 95 year old lady.
and my "i can't do it" lady is now at least trying, though she still keeps saying "i can't do it". and she was really sweet too. she would hold my hand and tell me "you are a very good teacher - young, pretty and smart. very good" *awwww*
ah well. grumble and grumble also no use. still got 6 more days to go on this clinic...2 more weeks...one case pres and then, it's HOLIDAYS.
melbourne weather has returned to its gloomycold state. can't wait for spring to come...can't wait for summer to come...
can't wait to board that plane which fly me to brisbane to meet my family for my end of year trip.
重逢总是让人想起“雀跃万分”。
隔了一年没见的朋友，
再次回到了当初相遇的异国。
见面时，心里有一种怪怪的感觉。
有一点难过，因为失去了一年相聚的时光。
有一点不满，因为朋友当初选择了离开。
有一点感动，因为终于把好友盼回来了。
有一点兴奋，有一点“回到过去” 的错觉
有一点所有的情绪，都融化成难以形容的微妙感觉。
是的，他们回来了。
可是，我知道根本不会“回到过去”。
我变了，他们也变了。
过去永远属于回忆里，
而现在，就是生活中的种种无可奈何，
唯妙唯肖的把我们的生命，
拈成了今天的局面。
当初的悲欢离合，成为现在的回忆。
今天的重逢，转眼间也成为了明天的过去。
活在现在，就是要把回忆收藏好。
偶尔拿出来回味，要记得把它放回原处。
不可以被昨天的事绑着，
也不要为明天的无常感到彷徨。
以不变应万变，
用平常心看待这个无常的人间。
或许当我学会了这样的道理，
心，就开了。
人，也就解脱了。
隔了一年没见的朋友，
再次回到了当初相遇的异国。
见面时，心里有一种怪怪的感觉。
有一点难过，因为失去了一年相聚的时光。
有一点不满，因为朋友当初选择了离开。
有一点感动，因为终于把好友盼回来了。
有一点兴奋，有一点“回到过去” 的错觉
有一点所有的情绪，都融化成难以形容的微妙感觉。
是的，他们回来了。
可是，我知道根本不会“回到过去”。
我变了，他们也变了。
过去永远属于回忆里，
而现在，就是生活中的种种无可奈何，
唯妙唯肖的把我们的生命，
拈成了今天的局面。
当初的悲欢离合，成为现在的回忆。
今天的重逢，转眼间也成为了明天的过去。
活在现在，就是要把回忆收藏好。
偶尔拿出来回味，要记得把它放回原处。
不可以被昨天的事绑着，
也不要为明天的无常感到彷徨。
以不变应万变，
用平常心看待这个无常的人间。
或许当我学会了这样的道理，
心，就开了。
人，也就解脱了。
do you know that cranberry can help prevent urinary tract infection?
yeah, just a little thingie i learnt this week during a tute. and apparently, doctors prescribe cranberry pills for patients at high risk of UTI...wat a waste!! cranberry juice is so yummy! they should just give these patients a small carton of cranberry juice everyday.
******************************************************************************
another week over. *phew* although i think this week was slightly better than last week, i am still so not into it. can't seem to summon up enough enthusiasm for my patients. in fact,i am getting damn exasperated with one of my old ladies. tried means and ways to alleviate her fear of falling...and all i get from her is "i can't do it". crap...i feel like i am drowning in dog poo (refer to previous entry abt dog poo...) and as much i am i trying to cheer myself up by counting down each second to the end of this placement (and the start of holidays), it feels like there's just too much for me to take in.
today there was an inservice, which started at 4pm. thinking that it would only last an hour, i stayed for it. technically, i can go at 4.30pm...but the inservice was pretty interesting, so i thought i'd stay until 5pm. and it would have ended at 5pm if not for all these stupid questions people were asking the presenter. why are they stupid? because they are all questions which had been asked earlier by someone else!!!! and i was getting really irritated...and i really wanted to go cos the sky starts getting dark at about 5pm...and i really din wanna walk through royal park in the darkness. nonetheless, i still stayed right till the end...and by the time i stepped out of the hospital, the streetlights were already ON. dammit.
fearing for my own safety (a girl walking alone in a dark, isolated park isn't an appealing thought), i started walking really really fast...so much so i nearly had cramps in my calves. *ouchie* and while i was walking, my mind keeps churning out these angry thoughts. i felt my blood pressure rising higher and higher, felt the lactic acid building up in my muscles, felt my lungs being deprived of precious oxygen. and walking behind the melbourne zoo also means that instead of nice clean fresh air, i get whiffs of animal poo with every breath i take. *eeewww*
but then, as i walked out onto a clearing, i saw a sight that made my anger left me in a big WOW.
the sunsets i see across Royal Park on usual days were always beautiful. but this evening, cos it was much later, the sight was spectacular. there was a full moon that looked HUGE. it was big, and bright and was so low in the sky, it looked like it's sitting on the treetops. and then, there was the sky. from crystal clear blue nearer to the land...slowly changing into a pale violet sheen near the treetops before transforming into a gorgeous pink, which then blends back into a blue blue sky peppered with orangey-pink clouds...and on the western side of the park, an orange glow peeked through the leaves, and it was absolutely stunning.
(i think i failed to describe the scene adequately. wish i had a camera with me then to capture that sight)
and so, as i looked at this wonderous moment created by Mother Nature, i told myself,"this is my reward for staying on to listen to the inservice. if i had not stayed on, i would never walk through Royal Park at this hour...and i would not have witnessed this unforgettable sight."
yesh, a heavenly sunset to end my second week of gerontology. what more can i ask for?
所谓知足长乐，就是如此。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
想要的，太多太多。
重要的，却只有那几样。
得到的，好像太少太少，
珍惜的，又常常失去。
时间流逝，没有机会让我重来一遍。
所以：
想要的，总觉得没得到；
重要的，时时被忽略；
得到的，忘记要珍惜；
珍惜的，就会放不下。
其实：
想要的，往往已经摆在眼前；
重要的，就是身边不可缺的；
得到的，最后难免会失去它；
珍惜的，是回忆里那份永恒。
失去后才察觉到的，也许就根本不是你的。
消失后才去寻找的，或许是缘分已结束了。
获得后才想抛舍的，可能是从来就不需要。
看看眼前的人与事，
放慢脚步欣赏周围的一切。
可能最好的，一直都在你的左右。
也许最需要的，默默在你身旁等待着你来发觉。
yeah, just a little thingie i learnt this week during a tute. and apparently, doctors prescribe cranberry pills for patients at high risk of UTI...wat a waste!! cranberry juice is so yummy! they should just give these patients a small carton of cranberry juice everyday.
******************************************************************************
another week over. *phew* although i think this week was slightly better than last week, i am still so not into it. can't seem to summon up enough enthusiasm for my patients. in fact,i am getting damn exasperated with one of my old ladies. tried means and ways to alleviate her fear of falling...and all i get from her is "i can't do it". crap...i feel like i am drowning in dog poo (refer to previous entry abt dog poo...) and as much i am i trying to cheer myself up by counting down each second to the end of this placement (and the start of holidays), it feels like there's just too much for me to take in.
today there was an inservice, which started at 4pm. thinking that it would only last an hour, i stayed for it. technically, i can go at 4.30pm...but the inservice was pretty interesting, so i thought i'd stay until 5pm. and it would have ended at 5pm if not for all these stupid questions people were asking the presenter. why are they stupid? because they are all questions which had been asked earlier by someone else!!!! and i was getting really irritated...and i really wanted to go cos the sky starts getting dark at about 5pm...and i really din wanna walk through royal park in the darkness. nonetheless, i still stayed right till the end...and by the time i stepped out of the hospital, the streetlights were already ON. dammit.
fearing for my own safety (a girl walking alone in a dark, isolated park isn't an appealing thought), i started walking really really fast...so much so i nearly had cramps in my calves. *ouchie* and while i was walking, my mind keeps churning out these angry thoughts. i felt my blood pressure rising higher and higher, felt the lactic acid building up in my muscles, felt my lungs being deprived of precious oxygen. and walking behind the melbourne zoo also means that instead of nice clean fresh air, i get whiffs of animal poo with every breath i take. *eeewww*
but then, as i walked out onto a clearing, i saw a sight that made my anger left me in a big WOW.
the sunsets i see across Royal Park on usual days were always beautiful. but this evening, cos it was much later, the sight was spectacular. there was a full moon that looked HUGE. it was big, and bright and was so low in the sky, it looked like it's sitting on the treetops. and then, there was the sky. from crystal clear blue nearer to the land...slowly changing into a pale violet sheen near the treetops before transforming into a gorgeous pink, which then blends back into a blue blue sky peppered with orangey-pink clouds...and on the western side of the park, an orange glow peeked through the leaves, and it was absolutely stunning.
(i think i failed to describe the scene adequately. wish i had a camera with me then to capture that sight)
and so, as i looked at this wonderous moment created by Mother Nature, i told myself,"this is my reward for staying on to listen to the inservice. if i had not stayed on, i would never walk through Royal Park at this hour...and i would not have witnessed this unforgettable sight."
yesh, a heavenly sunset to end my second week of gerontology. what more can i ask for?
所谓知足长乐，就是如此。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
想要的，太多太多。
重要的，却只有那几样。
得到的，好像太少太少，
珍惜的，又常常失去。
时间流逝，没有机会让我重来一遍。
所以：
想要的，总觉得没得到；
重要的，时时被忽略；
得到的，忘记要珍惜；
珍惜的，就会放不下。
其实：
想要的，往往已经摆在眼前；
重要的，就是身边不可缺的；
得到的，最后难免会失去它；
珍惜的，是回忆里那份永恒。
失去后才察觉到的，也许就根本不是你的。
消失后才去寻找的，或许是缘分已结束了。
获得后才想抛舍的，可能是从来就不需要。
看看眼前的人与事，
放慢脚步欣赏周围的一切。
可能最好的，一直都在你的左右。
也许最需要的，默默在你身旁等待着你来发觉。
apparently germ and ruby have been reading my blog from Geelong hospital computors...(thank you girls *hugz)...and germ says the comp doesn't support chinese writing. so i've been cracking my head to write stuff in english for them...guess it's just easier for me to express myself in chinese. english has never been a strong language of mine *bleah
anyway, last friday, i met up with joy and lauren for lunch. went to wing long (hee...wing ki and wei long = wing long? okay okay...it's lame..i know...) and joy and i shared hokkien mee, served in a restaurant opened by canto-speaking people..how strange..haha. the mee was okay lah...abit too salty for me though. then went to dessert house and had taro in sago soup (or was it sago in taro soup...?) and that was yummilicious. taste kinda like burburcharchar without the sweet potatoes. wooo...i miss singapore desserts...sitting in a hawker centre with a bowl of icy cold cheng teng, listening to the noises and conversations in various languages and dialects.
*home sick home sick home sick home sick*
okay, back to last friday...after dessert, we went to sit at one of the tables in QV's foodcourt and we started whingeing (actually we whinged during lunch..so it's more like continue to whinge) about clinics..and talking about graduation. then somehow, lauren noticed something different about joy's hair...who attempted to do blond highlights in her hair at home...and the topic went on to talk about highlighting hair. and i said,"maybe i should highlight my hair for graduation...bronze highlights sound good yeah?"
this statement was met with furvious agreement from joy and lauren. and then it went on to about getting our (lauren and me) ears pierced at the top bit of the ear. i am actually contemplating about it...it would be like the ONE rebellious thing i'd ever done in my 23 years on planet earth. and then lauren and joy hypothesised that
"if you are rebellious once in your youth, then you won't get mid life crisis when you are old. so you wouldn't end up getting multiple piercings"
makes sense? anyway..i told this hypothesis to germ..and she said,"why not be rebellious all the time? then confirm won't get mid-life crisis" haha...germ is taking the win-win way to avoid mid-life crisis...
as for me..somehow i just dun rebel...and i feel uncomfortable with being rebellious. well, i guess everyone has that rebellious streak in them. i have my moments of rebellion...though compared to many other people, these moments are so 'vanilla', they are not considered as rebellion at all. *diong* hmm...and maybe cos i've always been so mild and obedient, my 'mid-life' crisis sets in when i am only turning 23?!?!?! *gasp*
i've been bingeing so much lately...i also duno wat's wrong with me. like my stomach is filled with food..and yet my mouth just keeps munching and munching. is this a form of 'mid-life' crisis?!?!
okay...so in order to get over my 'mid-life' crisis now...and to avoid more crises, i should get my ear pierced and hair highlighted...??
i dun mind the ear piercing...cos if i dun like it, i can just let it close up...though i must say the pain of piercing is a huge deterrant for me...as for highlighting my hair...hmmm....i am quite reluctant to dye my hair cos my hair has NEVER been dyed before (a.k.a. virgin hair). part of me want to keep my virgin hair...the other part wanna see how i would look with highlights. *sigh*
crap. i should be thinking about problem list for my patients..not trying to decided whether to change my hair colour or create more holes on my ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jf going to daylesford...edwin arriving tomorrow...
and me?
well...i am just stuck here for at least the next 4.5 months.
miss mummy..miss daddy...
and missing someone else
who hopefully would appear in my dreams
anyway, last friday, i met up with joy and lauren for lunch. went to wing long (hee...wing ki and wei long = wing long? okay okay...it's lame..i know...) and joy and i shared hokkien mee, served in a restaurant opened by canto-speaking people..how strange..haha. the mee was okay lah...abit too salty for me though. then went to dessert house and had taro in sago soup (or was it sago in taro soup...?) and that was yummilicious. taste kinda like burburcharchar without the sweet potatoes. wooo...i miss singapore desserts...sitting in a hawker centre with a bowl of icy cold cheng teng, listening to the noises and conversations in various languages and dialects.
*home sick home sick home sick home sick*
okay, back to last friday...after dessert, we went to sit at one of the tables in QV's foodcourt and we started whingeing (actually we whinged during lunch..so it's more like continue to whinge) about clinics..and talking about graduation. then somehow, lauren noticed something different about joy's hair...who attempted to do blond highlights in her hair at home...and the topic went on to talk about highlighting hair. and i said,"maybe i should highlight my hair for graduation...bronze highlights sound good yeah?"
this statement was met with furvious agreement from joy and lauren. and then it went on to about getting our (lauren and me) ears pierced at the top bit of the ear. i am actually contemplating about it...it would be like the ONE rebellious thing i'd ever done in my 23 years on planet earth. and then lauren and joy hypothesised that
"if you are rebellious once in your youth, then you won't get mid life crisis when you are old. so you wouldn't end up getting multiple piercings"
makes sense? anyway..i told this hypothesis to germ..and she said,"why not be rebellious all the time? then confirm won't get mid-life crisis" haha...germ is taking the win-win way to avoid mid-life crisis...
as for me..somehow i just dun rebel...and i feel uncomfortable with being rebellious. well, i guess everyone has that rebellious streak in them. i have my moments of rebellion...though compared to many other people, these moments are so 'vanilla', they are not considered as rebellion at all. *diong* hmm...and maybe cos i've always been so mild and obedient, my 'mid-life' crisis sets in when i am only turning 23?!?!?! *gasp*
i've been bingeing so much lately...i also duno wat's wrong with me. like my stomach is filled with food..and yet my mouth just keeps munching and munching. is this a form of 'mid-life' crisis?!?!
okay...so in order to get over my 'mid-life' crisis now...and to avoid more crises, i should get my ear pierced and hair highlighted...??
i dun mind the ear piercing...cos if i dun like it, i can just let it close up...though i must say the pain of piercing is a huge deterrant for me...as for highlighting my hair...hmmm....i am quite reluctant to dye my hair cos my hair has NEVER been dyed before (a.k.a. virgin hair). part of me want to keep my virgin hair...the other part wanna see how i would look with highlights. *sigh*
crap. i should be thinking about problem list for my patients..not trying to decided whether to change my hair colour or create more holes on my ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jf going to daylesford...edwin arriving tomorrow...
and me?
well...i am just stuck here for at least the next 4.5 months.
miss mummy..miss daddy...
and missing someone else
who hopefully would appear in my dreams
weekend over..gone..finito...no more...
*bleah groan moan grumble
yeah, that's exactly how i feel this morning when i woke up before the sun and had to drag myself out of my warm comfy bed.
then,i remembered something i heard from a CD Yivern lent me (thank you yivern!!). the CD is recording of a talk by this buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahmavamso, called "Attitude to Life".
anyhow, there's this bit of the talk that has left a deep impression on me. it goes something like this
"...if you step in dog poo, you'll probably get angry and fustrated at your bad luck. but, if you bring that dog poo home and use it as a fertilizer for you mango tree, you'll have the sweetest tasting mangoes to harvest. so when you step in the 'dog poo' of life, use it as a 'fertilizer' for urself (the mango tree), and u'll get to enjoy the good results (sweet sweet mangoes)..."
more often than not, we often react instinctively to our immediate environment, and these reactions tend to lead to more reactions and hence an uncontrolled 'explosion' of extreme emotions. so, 'dog poos of life' are there for us to use as material to improve ourselves, to learn and to grow...to gain wisdom...so instead of grouching and whinging about it, we need to learn to step back and gain what we can from it.
not sure if i am making any sense. anyhow, now i am viewing my clinical placements as 'dog poo here, dog poo there..dog poo dog poo everywhere'. so i've gotta learn how to not let these dog poos get me down...but to actually make use of my time at clinics to learn and gain as much clinical experience as i can. it's very tough, cos i think it's human nature to whinge...but gotta try lah. if i whinge anymore, i'll forget how to stop whinging. *bleah
so, hopefully, by the end of my 4th year, i'll have a sweet mango to munch on - Graduation...
so near...yet so far
out of reach...out of sight...but never ever out of mind...
****************************************************************
几许哀愁拼成梦，
点滴思念绕长空，
化为雨水纷纷落，
渗透心房成寂寞。
*bleah groan moan grumble
yeah, that's exactly how i feel this morning when i woke up before the sun and had to drag myself out of my warm comfy bed.
then,i remembered something i heard from a CD Yivern lent me (thank you yivern!!). the CD is recording of a talk by this buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahmavamso, called "Attitude to Life".
anyhow, there's this bit of the talk that has left a deep impression on me. it goes something like this
"...if you step in dog poo, you'll probably get angry and fustrated at your bad luck. but, if you bring that dog poo home and use it as a fertilizer for you mango tree, you'll have the sweetest tasting mangoes to harvest. so when you step in the 'dog poo' of life, use it as a 'fertilizer' for urself (the mango tree), and u'll get to enjoy the good results (sweet sweet mangoes)..."
more often than not, we often react instinctively to our immediate environment, and these reactions tend to lead to more reactions and hence an uncontrolled 'explosion' of extreme emotions. so, 'dog poos of life' are there for us to use as material to improve ourselves, to learn and to grow...to gain wisdom...so instead of grouching and whinging about it, we need to learn to step back and gain what we can from it.
not sure if i am making any sense. anyhow, now i am viewing my clinical placements as 'dog poo here, dog poo there..dog poo dog poo everywhere'. so i've gotta learn how to not let these dog poos get me down...but to actually make use of my time at clinics to learn and gain as much clinical experience as i can. it's very tough, cos i think it's human nature to whinge...but gotta try lah. if i whinge anymore, i'll forget how to stop whinging. *bleah
so, hopefully, by the end of my 4th year, i'll have a sweet mango to munch on - Graduation...
so near...yet so far
out of reach...out of sight...but never ever out of mind...
****************************************************************
几许哀愁拼成梦，
点滴思念绕长空，
化为雨水纷纷落，
渗透心房成寂寞。
1 week down...3 more to go...
NNNOOOOOOO!!!
this clinical placement is so different from paeds. and for the first time since i started going for clinics, i am S.I.C.K. of it already! i guess from playing games with young kids to doing timed-up-and-go test with every single old person i see is just too big a change.
i'm sick of having to talk sense into someone older than me...sick of having to come up with problem list after problem list...sick of setting short and long term goals for every single patient...sick of walking so much cos i wanna save money...sick of it..sick sick sick SICK of it!!!!!!!!
argh..ok...whine and whinge enough liaoz. i am absolutely STUFFED with baked pasta and soup (thank you esther!! the soup was very good!!) how come i always end up cooking so much more than i intend to...then end up eating everything up and feeling like i can skip all three meals tomorrow. *bleah bleah bleah*
weather is melbourne is wthomgbloodywetandcoldanddreary. my shoes are always wet wet wet by the time i get to RMH Royal Park or back to my cosy apartment. and i have to rug up with beanie, scarf and gloves when i first set off in the morning, only to strip them off one by one cos i start to heat up. oh, and did i mention that the temperature has more or less remained no more than max 12 degrees ? i can see my breath forming even when i walk back after clinics, when the temp is supposedly higher than in the morning. *brrrr*
though i did complain about the walk earlier, i actually quite enjoy it. because JC is singing to me from my mp3 player. and as i walk through royal park, his voice sooths the pain in my foot (i've got blisters from the excessive walking), his music drowns out the traffic....and his songs add a bounce into every step i take. i try to sing along with him (if i know the lyrics to that song...), but i get too breathless. though i must say this sing-along-with-Jay walks probably can help to improve my cardiovascular endurance. *bwahahaha
today, i was walking across this field while 简单爱 was playing. and as i sing along to it...holding my 'teddy bear bear' umbrella, suddenly reminded me of Jay in the mtv for this song. he was wearing this suit and carrying an umbrella too. *grinz* of course, he looks so much more cool than me in my beanie, carrying a backpack and holding teddy-bear umbrella. but...the feeling was there. hehe.
wah kaoz. i talk so much liaoz. argh...my stomach feels far too distended. hopefully i won't get too short of breath when i lie down to sleep later.
NNNOOOOOOO!!!
this clinical placement is so different from paeds. and for the first time since i started going for clinics, i am S.I.C.K. of it already! i guess from playing games with young kids to doing timed-up-and-go test with every single old person i see is just too big a change.
i'm sick of having to talk sense into someone older than me...sick of having to come up with problem list after problem list...sick of setting short and long term goals for every single patient...sick of walking so much cos i wanna save money...sick of it..sick sick sick SICK of it!!!!!!!!
argh..ok...whine and whinge enough liaoz. i am absolutely STUFFED with baked pasta and soup (thank you esther!! the soup was very good!!) how come i always end up cooking so much more than i intend to...then end up eating everything up and feeling like i can skip all three meals tomorrow. *bleah bleah bleah*
weather is melbourne is wthomgbloodywetandcoldanddreary. my shoes are always wet wet wet by the time i get to RMH Royal Park or back to my cosy apartment. and i have to rug up with beanie, scarf and gloves when i first set off in the morning, only to strip them off one by one cos i start to heat up. oh, and did i mention that the temperature has more or less remained no more than max 12 degrees ? i can see my breath forming even when i walk back after clinics, when the temp is supposedly higher than in the morning. *brrrr*
though i did complain about the walk earlier, i actually quite enjoy it. because JC is singing to me from my mp3 player. and as i walk through royal park, his voice sooths the pain in my foot (i've got blisters from the excessive walking), his music drowns out the traffic....and his songs add a bounce into every step i take. i try to sing along with him (if i know the lyrics to that song...), but i get too breathless. though i must say this sing-along-with-Jay walks probably can help to improve my cardiovascular endurance. *bwahahaha
today, i was walking across this field while 简单爱 was playing. and as i sing along to it...holding my 'teddy bear bear' umbrella, suddenly reminded me of Jay in the mtv for this song. he was wearing this suit and carrying an umbrella too. *grinz* of course, he looks so much more cool than me in my beanie, carrying a backpack and holding teddy-bear umbrella. but...the feeling was there. hehe.
wah kaoz. i talk so much liaoz. argh...my stomach feels far too distended. hopefully i won't get too short of breath when i lie down to sleep later.
夜深人静，我独自听着歌。
杰伦的歌刚刚播完，一首经典曲，随着《止战之殇》的结束，流进了我的心房。
伤痕
夜已深 还有什么人
让你这样醒着数伤痕
为何临睡前会想要留一盏灯
你若不肯说 我就不问
只是你现在不得不承认
爱情有时候是一种沉沦
让人失望的虽然是恋情本身
但是不要只是因为你是女人
若爱得深会不能平衡
为情困 折磨了灵魂
该爱就爱 该恨的就恨
要为自己保留几分
女人独有的天真
和温柔的天分
要留给真爱你的人
不管未来多苦多难
有他陪你完成
虽然爱是种责任
给要给得完整
有时爱 美在无法永恒
爱有多销魂 就有多伤人
你若勇敢爱了 就要勇敢分
是啊。心里的伤痕数不清，莫名的寂寞让人费解。
不能天长地久的爱，最美丽吗？
付出这么多的爱，结局到最后，还是换来了多少泪，多少痛。
而那个‘真爱你的人’，依旧不见踪影。
就这样等待，还是这样期待？
过一天，就多一点失望。
失望后，也少了几许希望。
等待不存在的你，期待透明的你。
或许我在等待的，根本就是虚幻的。
但在绝望前，
我依然会默默祈祷会遇见你。
就算只是擦肩而过，
至少我知道，你，其实都一直活在现实里。
杰伦的歌刚刚播完，一首经典曲，随着《止战之殇》的结束，流进了我的心房。
伤痕
夜已深 还有什么人
让你这样醒着数伤痕
为何临睡前会想要留一盏灯
你若不肯说 我就不问
只是你现在不得不承认
爱情有时候是一种沉沦
让人失望的虽然是恋情本身
但是不要只是因为你是女人
若爱得深会不能平衡
为情困 折磨了灵魂
该爱就爱 该恨的就恨
要为自己保留几分
女人独有的天真
和温柔的天分
要留给真爱你的人
不管未来多苦多难
有他陪你完成
虽然爱是种责任
给要给得完整
有时爱 美在无法永恒
爱有多销魂 就有多伤人
你若勇敢爱了 就要勇敢分
是啊。心里的伤痕数不清，莫名的寂寞让人费解。
不能天长地久的爱，最美丽吗？
付出这么多的爱，结局到最后，还是换来了多少泪，多少痛。
而那个‘真爱你的人’，依旧不见踪影。
就这样等待，还是这样期待？
过一天，就多一点失望。
失望后，也少了几许希望。
等待不存在的你，期待透明的你。
或许我在等待的，根本就是虚幻的。
但在绝望前，
我依然会默默祈祷会遇见你。
就算只是擦肩而过，
至少我知道，你，其实都一直活在现实里。
a sudden sense of loss and confusion is overwhelming me.
slowly and steadily, it grew and grew today...
and then all of a sudden, it explode into a huge cloud of gloom and doom.
now, the ashes from that explosion cover me from head to toe.
stress...about geri placement starting tomorrow.
heard about the horror stories
and worrying about not being able to give my best
stress...about the end-of-year trip with family.
all confused about the details
and wanting to have it all settled now
today while i was watching HZGG while reading my geri notes
my heart grew cold
like a storm that has been brewing
it emptied its contents onto my previously warm heart
now,i have no faith in myself
and i have no confidence at all about tomorrow
as if all of my happiness was suddenly sucked away by a tornado
and leaving behind this empty shell...
this hollowness gaping in my soul
i feel scared...
and i long for some form of protection
from the unknown
from the uncertainty that lies ahead.
yet i fully understand...
that life is all about change
that nothing is permanent
i always have trouble with dealing with changes...
and i wonder if there ever would be a day
i can pluck up enough courage
to face this ever-changing world...
slowly and steadily, it grew and grew today...
and then all of a sudden, it explode into a huge cloud of gloom and doom.
now, the ashes from that explosion cover me from head to toe.
stress...about geri placement starting tomorrow.
heard about the horror stories
and worrying about not being able to give my best
stress...about the end-of-year trip with family.
all confused about the details
and wanting to have it all settled now
today while i was watching HZGG while reading my geri notes
my heart grew cold
like a storm that has been brewing
it emptied its contents onto my previously warm heart
now,i have no faith in myself
and i have no confidence at all about tomorrow
as if all of my happiness was suddenly sucked away by a tornado
and leaving behind this empty shell...
this hollowness gaping in my soul
i feel scared...
and i long for some form of protection
from the unknown
from the uncertainty that lies ahead.
yet i fully understand...
that life is all about change
that nothing is permanent
i always have trouble with dealing with changes...
and i wonder if there ever would be a day
i can pluck up enough courage
to face this ever-changing world...
《靠自己去成功》
刘墉/著 长江文艺出版社/出版
女儿，我就用平常心跟你谈谈平常心吧！
“平常心”就像那3个字，是“平常有的心”，是“平常的心情”。举个例子，你平常早餐都吃一个蛋、一块面包，晚上都睡7个小时觉；考试的时候，也像平常一样睡7小时觉，早晨吃一个蛋、一块面包，就是有平常心。
至于没有平常心的人，可能碰上考试只睡5个小时，早上为了增加体力，多吃一个蛋、一块面包，还多喝杯果汁、吃根香蕉，到了考场，又灌下一瓶鸡精。结果，你猜怎么样？ 因为他的生活方式跟平常不一样，睡得少本来新陈代谢已经不好，又吃太多东西，不习惯，反而可能在考场胃痛。
我就曾经在参加大专联考的时候，因为没有平常心而呕吐；也曾经因为没有平常心，在上电视主持特别节目的时候，脸上长包。
为什么？
因为考试之前，我为了补充体力，特别买了几瓶健康饮料，那饮料主要是氨基酸，我不习惯。至于主持节目长大包，则因为我在前一天晚上照镜子，看到几个粉刺，挤又没挤好，造成炎症。 我平常总挤痘子很少发炎，为什么偏偏那天出问题呢？
很简单，因为没有平常心——
平常要挤就挤，反正第二天没什么大事，挤坏了也没关系，心情很放松；可是那一天，生怕挤不好，因为不敢用力，反而没挤干净，造成第二天发炎。
所以我说，要有平常心，你平常习惯怎样，考试前保持那样，就不会出问题。
我甚至建议你完全照平常的时间上床，即使早准备好了，也别因为想多睡几个小时而提早睡觉，因为太多人有过这样的教训，就是碰上第二天有大事，早早上床，既不困心情又紧张，反而造成失眠。
妈妈在晚餐时不也说吗？
她学生时代，大考前不洗头，考试那天不穿新衣服新鞋子。
我在学生时代跟她一样，那也是一种维持平常心的表现。因为当你放太多的注意力在服装上面，或是穿了自己不习惯的衣服、鞋子、剪了不习惯的发型，造成分心，或临时出了情况，反而会影响考试。
举个例子，我小时候有一次参加全台北市的演讲比赛，特别在那天穿了新衣服、新皮鞋，就险些出问题。
出门前弯腰系鞋带，裤裆就咔喳一声，裂了。等缝好裤子，匆匆出门，又发现那只皮鞋因为是新的，硬、打脚，每走一步都很痛，连上台都一拐一拐的。
你说，心境不平常，是不是弄巧成拙？
走过大半生，我觉得愈是碰上不平常的事，愈要有平常心。
所以在动胆囊割除手术的前一天，我跟平常一样写文章、看书、看电视剧，跟平常一样时间上床；我每次出国前，也必定跟平常一样的时间睡觉、起床、打球。
我见太多了！许多人在出国旅行前，赶着安排未完的公事；上飞机前一夜，先赴应酬，大吃大喝，又准备行李到深夜，结果还没出国门，已经扭伤了腰，上飞机之后又开始泻肚，加上出国之前休息不够，没几天就病倒了。
或许你要说，国内的事情当然要安排好，行李也当然要准备。
对！这正是我要强调的。 愈是将要面对不平常的情况，你愈应该早早安排，把那不平常的负担，用前面充裕的时间去分散。就如同考试，你想能有平常心，就应该在平常早早准备；你想出国之前表现得从容，就应该早早规划，甚至两三天前已经收拾好行囊；你想要穿新衣服出台，则应当早早就把衣服试穿一遍，甚至穿上鞋子里外走走，看看步子跨不跨得开？脚又会不会踩到裙角？
“平常心”要以“平常”来准备，而非临时抱佛脚。
“平常心”也是“心常平”，让你的心总保持在平静的状态，才能以不变应万变。
只有平常就努力，平常就儆醒的人，才有资格谈“平常心”。
****************************************************************
i wonder how many of my readers actually mange to finish reading the above 'story'. i bought two books by this author, and i really like the stories he write. relating his personal experience to his readers. in fact most of this stories are related to his experience with parenting.
anyway, just thought this was a nice story to share...hope those who finished reading it would gain some new perspective...
刘墉/著 长江文艺出版社/出版
女儿，我就用平常心跟你谈谈平常心吧！
“平常心”就像那3个字，是“平常有的心”，是“平常的心情”。举个例子，你平常早餐都吃一个蛋、一块面包，晚上都睡7个小时觉；考试的时候，也像平常一样睡7小时觉，早晨吃一个蛋、一块面包，就是有平常心。
至于没有平常心的人，可能碰上考试只睡5个小时，早上为了增加体力，多吃一个蛋、一块面包，还多喝杯果汁、吃根香蕉，到了考场，又灌下一瓶鸡精。结果，你猜怎么样？ 因为他的生活方式跟平常不一样，睡得少本来新陈代谢已经不好，又吃太多东西，不习惯，反而可能在考场胃痛。
我就曾经在参加大专联考的时候，因为没有平常心而呕吐；也曾经因为没有平常心，在上电视主持特别节目的时候，脸上长包。
为什么？
因为考试之前，我为了补充体力，特别买了几瓶健康饮料，那饮料主要是氨基酸，我不习惯。至于主持节目长大包，则因为我在前一天晚上照镜子，看到几个粉刺，挤又没挤好，造成炎症。 我平常总挤痘子很少发炎，为什么偏偏那天出问题呢？
很简单，因为没有平常心——
平常要挤就挤，反正第二天没什么大事，挤坏了也没关系，心情很放松；可是那一天，生怕挤不好，因为不敢用力，反而没挤干净，造成第二天发炎。
所以我说，要有平常心，你平常习惯怎样，考试前保持那样，就不会出问题。
我甚至建议你完全照平常的时间上床，即使早准备好了，也别因为想多睡几个小时而提早睡觉，因为太多人有过这样的教训，就是碰上第二天有大事，早早上床，既不困心情又紧张，反而造成失眠。
妈妈在晚餐时不也说吗？
她学生时代，大考前不洗头，考试那天不穿新衣服新鞋子。
我在学生时代跟她一样，那也是一种维持平常心的表现。因为当你放太多的注意力在服装上面，或是穿了自己不习惯的衣服、鞋子、剪了不习惯的发型，造成分心，或临时出了情况，反而会影响考试。
举个例子，我小时候有一次参加全台北市的演讲比赛，特别在那天穿了新衣服、新皮鞋，就险些出问题。
出门前弯腰系鞋带，裤裆就咔喳一声，裂了。等缝好裤子，匆匆出门，又发现那只皮鞋因为是新的，硬、打脚，每走一步都很痛，连上台都一拐一拐的。
你说，心境不平常，是不是弄巧成拙？
走过大半生，我觉得愈是碰上不平常的事，愈要有平常心。
所以在动胆囊割除手术的前一天，我跟平常一样写文章、看书、看电视剧，跟平常一样时间上床；我每次出国前，也必定跟平常一样的时间睡觉、起床、打球。
我见太多了！许多人在出国旅行前，赶着安排未完的公事；上飞机前一夜，先赴应酬，大吃大喝，又准备行李到深夜，结果还没出国门，已经扭伤了腰，上飞机之后又开始泻肚，加上出国之前休息不够，没几天就病倒了。
或许你要说，国内的事情当然要安排好，行李也当然要准备。
对！这正是我要强调的。 愈是将要面对不平常的情况，你愈应该早早安排，把那不平常的负担，用前面充裕的时间去分散。就如同考试，你想能有平常心，就应该在平常早早准备；你想出国之前表现得从容，就应该早早规划，甚至两三天前已经收拾好行囊；你想要穿新衣服出台，则应当早早就把衣服试穿一遍，甚至穿上鞋子里外走走，看看步子跨不跨得开？脚又会不会踩到裙角？
“平常心”要以“平常”来准备，而非临时抱佛脚。
“平常心”也是“心常平”，让你的心总保持在平静的状态，才能以不变应万变。
只有平常就努力，平常就儆醒的人，才有资格谈“平常心”。
****************************************************************
i wonder how many of my readers actually mange to finish reading the above 'story'. i bought two books by this author, and i really like the stories he write. relating his personal experience to his readers. in fact most of this stories are related to his experience with parenting.
anyway, just thought this was a nice story to share...hope those who finished reading it would gain some new perspective...
was watching the day after tomorrow just now...and when the movie was over, i switched to TV mode and saw a news flash.
"terrorist attack in London"
this attack came so soon after London won the bid for Olympics 2012...coincidence?
anyway, i refuse to watch footages of the bombings. after sep 11 and bali, i had enough of seeing destroyed automobiles/buildings. perhaps it's an ostrich approach...but i refuse to be further terrorised visually by these images.
so rather than getting upset and depressed about the innoncent deaths, i choose to hide in my room and chat on MSN. to escape from the harsh reality...and i guess, to escape from the dark side of humankind.
for the moment, i choose to revel in the hug given by one of my little patients today, and remind myself that warmth and love is still around, in spite of the fear and doubt cast upon us.
perhaps tomorrow morning, i'll get caught up in the grief.
but for now, let me be calm and happy...let me enjoy this moment of peace and tranquility.
"terrorist attack in London"
this attack came so soon after London won the bid for Olympics 2012...coincidence?
anyway, i refuse to watch footages of the bombings. after sep 11 and bali, i had enough of seeing destroyed automobiles/buildings. perhaps it's an ostrich approach...but i refuse to be further terrorised visually by these images.
so rather than getting upset and depressed about the innoncent deaths, i choose to hide in my room and chat on MSN. to escape from the harsh reality...and i guess, to escape from the dark side of humankind.
for the moment, i choose to revel in the hug given by one of my little patients today, and remind myself that warmth and love is still around, in spite of the fear and doubt cast upon us.
perhaps tomorrow morning, i'll get caught up in the grief.
but for now, let me be calm and happy...let me enjoy this moment of peace and tranquility.
no uni tomorrow!!!!
last day of clinic block 4!!!!
4 down, 3 to go
next block is gonna be my last clinical block where i actually treat people above the age of 30. clinical elective is at St Paul's with kids...and non-clinical is at physio school doing teaching. woohoo!!!
so 4 weeks of old, grumpy man and women...trying to get them out of bed and walking despite their incessant protests of "sore sore!!" oh boy, am i excited or what? *bleah*
does the end finally seem that teensy weensy bit nearer??
NO
but,i'm glad for a long weekend with almost nothing to do. almost. probably need to read up on gerontology stuff...and may have to take a walk to the next hospital to see how far it is. hopefully not too far then i can walk to and fro everyday. save money and get exercise.
darn winter weather. my face is getting chubbier by the day. need to eat less...need to sleep less...and need to exercise more.
maybe i'd come up with an exercise regime for myself this weekend *hhhmmmm....*
yeah...maybe...
last day of clinic block 4!!!!
4 down, 3 to go
next block is gonna be my last clinical block where i actually treat people above the age of 30. clinical elective is at St Paul's with kids...and non-clinical is at physio school doing teaching. woohoo!!!
so 4 weeks of old, grumpy man and women...trying to get them out of bed and walking despite their incessant protests of "sore sore!!" oh boy, am i excited or what? *bleah*
does the end finally seem that teensy weensy bit nearer??
NO
but,i'm glad for a long weekend with almost nothing to do. almost. probably need to read up on gerontology stuff...and may have to take a walk to the next hospital to see how far it is. hopefully not too far then i can walk to and fro everyday. save money and get exercise.
darn winter weather. my face is getting chubbier by the day. need to eat less...need to sleep less...and need to exercise more.
maybe i'd come up with an exercise regime for myself this weekend *hhhmmmm....*
yeah...maybe...
phew...presentation is over.
tomorrow is last day for my paeds placement...kinda sad actually. i am enjoying myself so much...dreading to treat old people in my next placement (gerontology). i'd rather have 8 weeks of paeds...sigh...
initial D is making me crazy about cars. actually, i'm just crazy about THE CAR.
everywhere i go, i keep looking at the cars parked by the side of the road, hoping to catch a glimspe of a Toyota Trueno AE-86. i know i know, it's an old old car...but i just wanna see one...and to take picture with one. kinda like if i take pic with one, i'll be slightly closer to my dream guy *blush*
my dream car is this
and it still is..but it truly is a dream car. i'd never be able to earn enough money to buy one of this in Singapore. not that i'll be able to afford an AE-86. but, if i ever do earn enough money, i'll definitely get a Toyota.
anyway, i've realised how limited my knowledge on cars are. tonight, as germ and i were walking along Lygon, we saw one of this...
and germ said "that was the car shawn yue drove in initial D". and i was totally oblivious to what car it was. turned out to be a nissan skyline. and she also said edison was driving a mazda RX-7.
as u can see..i only noticed the car that JC was driving.haha...couldn't care less about the other cars...though i must say i do like this black one. quite stylish...
but good ol' AE-86...where are u?? i want to see u!!!
[added note]i have no idea if the pics i put up for nissan skyline and rx-7 is actually the one shown in the movie..or if they are the right cars or not. if i've put the wrong pics up, i apologise. but i guess if i did put the wrong pics up,that'll confirm the fact that Gretel is hopeless at identifying cars (except my dream car and the car my dream guy drove..wuahahaha)
tomorrow is last day for my paeds placement...kinda sad actually. i am enjoying myself so much...dreading to treat old people in my next placement (gerontology). i'd rather have 8 weeks of paeds...sigh...
initial D is making me crazy about cars. actually, i'm just crazy about THE CAR.
everywhere i go, i keep looking at the cars parked by the side of the road, hoping to catch a glimspe of a Toyota Trueno AE-86. i know i know, it's an old old car...but i just wanna see one...and to take picture with one. kinda like if i take pic with one, i'll be slightly closer to my dream guy *blush*
my dream car is this
and it still is..but it truly is a dream car. i'd never be able to earn enough money to buy one of this in Singapore. not that i'll be able to afford an AE-86. but, if i ever do earn enough money, i'll definitely get a Toyota.
anyway, i've realised how limited my knowledge on cars are. tonight, as germ and i were walking along Lygon, we saw one of this...
and germ said "that was the car shawn yue drove in initial D". and i was totally oblivious to what car it was. turned out to be a nissan skyline. and she also said edison was driving a mazda RX-7.
as u can see..i only noticed the car that JC was driving.haha...couldn't care less about the other cars...though i must say i do like this black one. quite stylish...
but good ol' AE-86...where are u?? i want to see u!!!
[added note]i have no idea if the pics i put up for nissan skyline and rx-7 is actually the one shown in the movie..or if they are the right cars or not. if i've put the wrong pics up, i apologise. but i guess if i did put the wrong pics up,that'll confirm the fact that Gretel is hopeless at identifying cars (except my dream car and the car my dream guy drove..wuahahaha)
i am blogging from a hospital computor, and it's lunch time. decided to blog now so i can concentrate on doing my presentation later tonight.
at least that's the plan.....
was reading someone's blog who commented on initial D. and i was so not impressed by what the blogger wrote. okie, so i have this outofthisworldmajorcrush on JC, so i admit i am damn biased when i am commenting on this movie.
yeah,storyline was abit off cos they tried to squeeze in alot of stuff into a mere 1.5 - 2 hours.certain characters were changed, many were deleted. i've just finished watching Stage 1 of Initial D - the anime. and it made me wish that more characters were included in the movies..and more scenes. but i can understand the need to CUT CUT CUT, so i'll say the storyline wasn't great.
for acting, i think the guys did a great job. i enjoyed the movie totally. and if i have the money, i'll want to watch it again. (now can only wait for the dvd to be released...) given that this is JC's first movie, i think he did a pretty good job. JF is gonna BOO BOO on me for this one, cos he think's JC's acting sucked. i beg to differ. his role din have a lot of lines, so alot of the acting comes from his expression. and i personally feel that i was able to feel what the character was supposed to be feeling, which i thought means that JC managed to conveyed the emotions well. and i think to be able to do that is a pretty difficult task for a first time actor on a big screen.
read this critic who said the racing scenes were like the anime - too 2D. oh man, i was totally thrilled by the races.so this critic might be someone who's addicted to high-speed chase scens from fast and furious, with explosions and crashing into obstacles. the races in Initial D is totally different. beauty lies in how the car drift around the sharp corners, how the bumpers can miss the guardrails by mere centimetres. it's not about crashing and explosions. and i think it was a fantastic job done.
then there were people who said chapman to's character has been reduced to a mere comical character. i mean, his character was supposed to be in total contrast to JC'c character. it was exaggerated, but hey! it's a MOVIE. gotta have a bit of exaggeration yeah? even in the anime, Itsuki's personality is loud and comical! *diong*
and the love story between Takumi and Natsuki...bittersweet is an understatement. dun think Natsuki was an 'extra' in the show at all. i think her presence is important in the development of Takumi's personality.
but, to each his own. while there are many screaming fans out there for JC, EC and SY, there are also those people who absolutely hate their guts and think the movie sucks. and i guess i do have lower standards when it comes to a good movie. shows that win tonnes of awards dun appeal to me...
when i watch a movie,i want to be drawn into the story, feel what the characters are feeling and live what the characters are going through. Initial D did that for me. adrenaline rushes, tears well up and cheers ring loud in my head throughout the movie.
it's a movie i wanna watch again and again. it's a movie i wanna buy the soundtrack for. it's a movie which i can't wait for the sequel to be out.
so in my shallow opinion, Initial D rocks - the anime, the movie and the people who acted in both the anime and movie.
at least that's the plan.....
was reading someone's blog who commented on initial D. and i was so not impressed by what the blogger wrote. okie, so i have this outofthisworldmajorcrush on JC, so i admit i am damn biased when i am commenting on this movie.
yeah,storyline was abit off cos they tried to squeeze in alot of stuff into a mere 1.5 - 2 hours.certain characters were changed, many were deleted. i've just finished watching Stage 1 of Initial D - the anime. and it made me wish that more characters were included in the movies..and more scenes. but i can understand the need to CUT CUT CUT, so i'll say the storyline wasn't great.
for acting, i think the guys did a great job. i enjoyed the movie totally. and if i have the money, i'll want to watch it again. (now can only wait for the dvd to be released...) given that this is JC's first movie, i think he did a pretty good job. JF is gonna BOO BOO on me for this one, cos he think's JC's acting sucked. i beg to differ. his role din have a lot of lines, so alot of the acting comes from his expression. and i personally feel that i was able to feel what the character was supposed to be feeling, which i thought means that JC managed to conveyed the emotions well. and i think to be able to do that is a pretty difficult task for a first time actor on a big screen.
read this critic who said the racing scenes were like the anime - too 2D. oh man, i was totally thrilled by the races.so this critic might be someone who's addicted to high-speed chase scens from fast and furious, with explosions and crashing into obstacles. the races in Initial D is totally different. beauty lies in how the car drift around the sharp corners, how the bumpers can miss the guardrails by mere centimetres. it's not about crashing and explosions. and i think it was a fantastic job done.
then there were people who said chapman to's character has been reduced to a mere comical character. i mean, his character was supposed to be in total contrast to JC'c character. it was exaggerated, but hey! it's a MOVIE. gotta have a bit of exaggeration yeah? even in the anime, Itsuki's personality is loud and comical! *diong*
and the love story between Takumi and Natsuki...bittersweet is an understatement. dun think Natsuki was an 'extra' in the show at all. i think her presence is important in the development of Takumi's personality.
but, to each his own. while there are many screaming fans out there for JC, EC and SY, there are also those people who absolutely hate their guts and think the movie sucks. and i guess i do have lower standards when it comes to a good movie. shows that win tonnes of awards dun appeal to me...
when i watch a movie,i want to be drawn into the story, feel what the characters are feeling and live what the characters are going through. Initial D did that for me. adrenaline rushes, tears well up and cheers ring loud in my head throughout the movie.
it's a movie i wanna watch again and again. it's a movie i wanna buy the soundtrack for. it's a movie which i can't wait for the sequel to be out.
so in my shallow opinion, Initial D rocks - the anime, the movie and the people who acted in both the anime and movie.
changed the template.hopefully now it would not have much problem
just realised my blog looks plainer and plainer each time i change it. kinda reflects the way i change too.
with each passing day, i lose that bit more excitement from my life.
with each passing moment, i lose that bit more fun in me.
by the time i am back in Singapore, i think i'd look damn BORING beside all the happening-thin-and-tall gals.
then again, not as if i was ever happening or thin or tall to begin with...so i guess i didn't lose much.
now doing my topic presentation on childhood stroke. do you know that having chicken pox as a kid is a risk factor for getting stroke?? kaoz, thinking back to my chicken-pox days, i thank my lucky stars that i didn't end up with brain damage. *phew* but there are kids out there who are not so lucky...and it's really sad to see them.
so young...so innoncent...previously healthy and fit and suddenly, unable to play their favourite games.
sigh. so while i really wanna whinge again, thinking about my adorable patients makes me feel too ashamed to even whine about the cold. the fact that i can sit in a chair by myself and type this entry is already something alot of these unwell kids would never be able to do.
惜福，惜缘。
4 words that i should keep reminding myself jus so i don't end up as an old grumpy woman who only knows how to complain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the 4th year MOH scholars in melbourne.
just realised my blog looks plainer and plainer each time i change it. kinda reflects the way i change too.
with each passing day, i lose that bit more excitement from my life.
with each passing moment, i lose that bit more fun in me.
by the time i am back in Singapore, i think i'd look damn BORING beside all the happening-thin-and-tall gals.
then again, not as if i was ever happening or thin or tall to begin with...so i guess i didn't lose much.
now doing my topic presentation on childhood stroke. do you know that having chicken pox as a kid is a risk factor for getting stroke?? kaoz, thinking back to my chicken-pox days, i thank my lucky stars that i didn't end up with brain damage. *phew* but there are kids out there who are not so lucky...and it's really sad to see them.
so young...so innoncent...previously healthy and fit and suddenly, unable to play their favourite games.
sigh. so while i really wanna whinge again, thinking about my adorable patients makes me feel too ashamed to even whine about the cold. the fact that i can sit in a chair by myself and type this entry is already something alot of these unwell kids would never be able to do.
惜福，惜缘。
4 words that i should keep reminding myself jus so i don't end up as an old grumpy woman who only knows how to complain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the 4th year MOH scholars in melbourne.
from left:elizabeth, mingxian, me, zaneta and yijun. all of us doing physio except zan, who's doing speech therapy.
and that's at mE tOO Cafe in melbourne central...which serves ice mocha/coffee/chocolate in this big glass and vanilla ice cream on top. *yummy*
| You Are Strawberry Ice Cream |
 You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream. |
too bad this isn't my fav flavour of ice cream..though i must say i do like choc-chip ice cream *grinz*
i watched intial D yesterday!!!!!!!! and it was quite a few first-s in my moviewatching experience...
it was the first time i watched an asian film in melbourne, my first visit to Chinatown Cinema, my first retro movie ticket (it was pink, has a 'stamp' that states the date and it doesn't even say what movie!!), it was my first time watching a movie in CANTONESE, it was my first time watching a movie alone in melbourne, and it was my first movie starring JC.
so how did i find the movie? well, i have a biased opinion, cos JC was in it. to be as objective as i can, i think the storyline was a disappointment...but the directing was good, the racing scenes were good, the guys were HOT (yesh, not just JC...EC and SY were cute too...) and for a first time effort by JC, i think he did a pretty good job...i think it was a movie worth my AUD$11.
and i was impressed by JC's cantonese, considering he's not that fluent in it..but he still put in the effort to dub his own voice for his own part in cantonese, and i must say he sounded pretty natural in cantonese...
a teeny voice in my head is urging me to watch it again, just to see JC in action one more time. but $$$ is a problem...
now i am waiting for initial D II. by then, i'll be back in sunny singapore and probably watching the movie with screaming JC fans. and, i am waiting for initial D soundtrack and DVD/VCD to be released...then,i can watch it over and over again..pause at the close-up shots of JC and swoon over him. *bwahahahahaha
dinner after that with the scholars was good. it was nice to see them again. and we've set the date for our next gathering. it's as if we are trying to make up for not meeting up in the past 3 years. now, we have our monthly gathering...to catch up on each other's life, to whinge about working soon...to talk about everything and anything we want.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
不要以为我不懂，总有东窗事发的时候。
不要装着你明白，而选择隐瞒一切。
不要假装看不见，我的痛楚你比谁都了解。
it was the first time i watched an asian film in melbourne, my first visit to Chinatown Cinema, my first retro movie ticket (it was pink, has a 'stamp' that states the date and it doesn't even say what movie!!), it was my first time watching a movie in CANTONESE, it was my first time watching a movie alone in melbourne, and it was my first movie starring JC.
so how did i find the movie? well, i have a biased opinion, cos JC was in it. to be as objective as i can, i think the storyline was a disappointment...but the directing was good, the racing scenes were good, the guys were HOT (yesh, not just JC...EC and SY were cute too...) and for a first time effort by JC, i think he did a pretty good job...i think it was a movie worth my AUD$11.
and i was impressed by JC's cantonese, considering he's not that fluent in it..but he still put in the effort to dub his own voice for his own part in cantonese, and i must say he sounded pretty natural in cantonese...
a teeny voice in my head is urging me to watch it again, just to see JC in action one more time. but $$$ is a problem...
now i am waiting for initial D II. by then, i'll be back in sunny singapore and probably watching the movie with screaming JC fans. and, i am waiting for initial D soundtrack and DVD/VCD to be released...then,i can watch it over and over again..pause at the close-up shots of JC and swoon over him. *bwahahahahaha
dinner after that with the scholars was good. it was nice to see them again. and we've set the date for our next gathering. it's as if we are trying to make up for not meeting up in the past 3 years. now, we have our monthly gathering...to catch up on each other's life, to whinge about working soon...to talk about everything and anything we want.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
不要以为我不懂，总有东窗事发的时候。
不要装着你明白，而选择隐瞒一切。
不要假装看不见，我的痛楚你比谁都了解。
i was asked by a friend last night to post something happy.
honestly, i think that might be abit too much to ask for...cos happy blogs are for happy people.
me? i am not happy. why?
truthfully speaking, i myself am not too sure why i am unhappy too *diong
so logically speaking, i should then be happy, or at least make myself happy, so that i can be a happy person with a happy blog.
being a science student, i thought i should first find out the defination of happy
happy
adj
1: enjoying or showing or marked by joy or pleasure or good fortune; "a happy smile"; "spent many happy days on the beach"; "a happy marriage" [ant: unhappy]
2: experiencing pleasure or joy; "happy you are here"; "pleased with the good news" [syn: pleased]
3: marked by good fortune; "a felicitous life"; "a happy outcome" [syn: felicitous]
4: satisfied; enjoying well-being and contentment; "felt content with her lot"; "quite happy to let things go on as they are"
5: exaggerated feeling of well-being or elation [syn: euphoric] [ant: dysphoric]
6: well expressed and to the point; "a happy turn of phrase"; "a few well-chosen words"; "a felicitous comment" [syn: well-chosen]
okie...to sum up, being happy requires either joy, pleasure or good fortune; a feeling of well-being or satisfaction.
so i guess in a way, i am happy. cos i have the good fortune of being alive and generally fit and healthy. to that extent, i am 'happy'.
i think i've been getting very impatient with my own life. partly cos everyone keeps telling me "it's gonna be over soon" when i can still see the loads of assignments and clinics coming up. SOON is used to loosely...tsk tsk tsk. another reason for my impatience? well, i am just an impatient person to begin with. and though i do have quite a fair bit of tolerance, somehow this year, everything and everyone just keep 'short-fusing' me.
i am not a creature of change. i fret and panic when things around me changes. and i think this year, far too many changes have happened. and i am having trouble trying to cope with all these changes...
the past 3 years, things always fall into a routine. living alone has that advantage for me. every week is about the same, so i am always in my comfort zone. (well..as comfortable as i can be when i am alone...) and i think i've grown so accustomed to being by myself.
granted that i had the guys at CS. but our group dynamics was quite different compared to the one now. that's the difference between hanging around guys versus gals. when i'm around the guys, we talk about things that i actually can understand and participate in. with the girls...i just dunno wat to say. whenever they are together, i feel myself slowly retreating into my own little corner, fading into the background and letting them take over. i suppose being the oneofthe2girls/onlygirl back in CS means i am automatically 'special', and thus given 'special' treatment. (although i must say the guys probably think i am so tom-boyish that i am just one of the guys *bleah*) now, i am also 'special', cos i am the 'senior', the 'guru', the 'role model', the 'genius' etc etc etc. this kind of special, i can do without. so instead of feeling 'special', i am like the sore thumb sticking out of the group, the 'auntie among the girls', the 'geek among the beauties'.
and so, i choose to be by myself. so i can just be ME. i mean, it's so much easier to be auntie and geeky without being contrasted by the young and vibrant girls.
okie, i think i've just typed a whole load of crap. dun think i made much sense to anyone else except to old,geeky Gretel.
though, i must say right now, i am feeling a tad happier cos i am handing in one assignment today!! woohoo!! and today is Gretel's walkaroundincityandwindowshop day...followed by dinner with the scholars. ahh...slacking the whole day away is making me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! *bwahahahahahaha
honestly, i think that might be abit too much to ask for...cos happy blogs are for happy people.
me? i am not happy. why?
truthfully speaking, i myself am not too sure why i am unhappy too *diong
so logically speaking, i should then be happy, or at least make myself happy, so that i can be a happy person with a happy blog.
being a science student, i thought i should first find out the defination of happy
happy
adj
1: enjoying or showing or marked by joy or pleasure or good fortune; "a happy smile"; "spent many happy days on the beach"; "a happy marriage" [ant: unhappy]
2: experiencing pleasure or joy; "happy you are here"; "pleased with the good news" [syn: pleased]
3: marked by good fortune; "a felicitous life"; "a happy outcome" [syn: felicitous]
4: satisfied; enjoying well-being and contentment; "felt content with her lot"; "quite happy to let things go on as they are"
5: exaggerated feeling of well-being or elation [syn: euphoric] [ant: dysphoric]
6: well expressed and to the point; "a happy turn of phrase"; "a few well-chosen words"; "a felicitous comment" [syn: well-chosen]
okie...to sum up, being happy requires either joy, pleasure or good fortune; a feeling of well-being or satisfaction.
so i guess in a way, i am happy. cos i have the good fortune of being alive and generally fit and healthy. to that extent, i am 'happy'.
i think i've been getting very impatient with my own life. partly cos everyone keeps telling me "it's gonna be over soon" when i can still see the loads of assignments and clinics coming up. SOON is used to loosely...tsk tsk tsk. another reason for my impatience? well, i am just an impatient person to begin with. and though i do have quite a fair bit of tolerance, somehow this year, everything and everyone just keep 'short-fusing' me.
i am not a creature of change. i fret and panic when things around me changes. and i think this year, far too many changes have happened. and i am having trouble trying to cope with all these changes...
the past 3 years, things always fall into a routine. living alone has that advantage for me. every week is about the same, so i am always in my comfort zone. (well..as comfortable as i can be when i am alone...) and i think i've grown so accustomed to being by myself.
granted that i had the guys at CS. but our group dynamics was quite different compared to the one now. that's the difference between hanging around guys versus gals. when i'm around the guys, we talk about things that i actually can understand and participate in. with the girls...i just dunno wat to say. whenever they are together, i feel myself slowly retreating into my own little corner, fading into the background and letting them take over. i suppose being the oneofthe2girls/onlygirl back in CS means i am automatically 'special', and thus given 'special' treatment. (although i must say the guys probably think i am so tom-boyish that i am just one of the guys *bleah*) now, i am also 'special', cos i am the 'senior', the 'guru', the 'role model', the 'genius' etc etc etc. this kind of special, i can do without. so instead of feeling 'special', i am like the sore thumb sticking out of the group, the 'auntie among the girls', the 'geek among the beauties'.
and so, i choose to be by myself. so i can just be ME. i mean, it's so much easier to be auntie and geeky without being contrasted by the young and vibrant girls.
okie, i think i've just typed a whole load of crap. dun think i made much sense to anyone else except to old,geeky Gretel.
though, i must say right now, i am feeling a tad happier cos i am handing in one assignment today!! woohoo!! and today is Gretel's walkaroundincityandwindowshop day...followed by dinner with the scholars. ahh...slacking the whole day away is making me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! *bwahahahahahaha
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