weekend over..gone..finito...no more...

*bleah groan moan grumble

yeah, that's exactly how i feel this morning when i woke up before the sun and had to drag myself out of my warm comfy bed.

then,i remembered something i heard from a CD Yivern lent me (thank you yivern!!). the CD is recording of a talk by this buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahmavamso, called "Attitude to Life".

anyhow, there's this bit of the talk that has left a deep impression on me. it goes something like this

"...if you step in dog poo, you'll probably get angry and fustrated at your bad luck. but, if you bring that dog poo home and use it as a fertilizer for you mango tree, you'll have the sweetest tasting mangoes to harvest. so when you step in the 'dog poo' of life, use it as a 'fertilizer' for urself (the mango tree), and u'll get to enjoy the good results (sweet sweet mangoes)..."

more often than not, we often react instinctively to our immediate environment, and these reactions tend to lead to more reactions and hence an uncontrolled 'explosion' of extreme emotions. so, 'dog poos of life' are there for us to use as material to improve ourselves, to learn and to grow...to gain wisdom...so instead of grouching and whinging about it, we need to learn to step back and gain what we can from it.

not sure if i am making any sense. anyhow, now i am viewing my clinical placements as 'dog poo here, dog poo there..dog poo dog poo everywhere'. so i've gotta learn how to not let these dog poos get me down...but to actually make use of my time at clinics to learn and gain as much clinical experience as i can. it's very tough, cos i think it's human nature to whinge...but gotta try lah. if i whinge anymore, i'll forget how to stop whinging. *bleah

so, hopefully, by the end of my 4th year, i'll have a sweet mango to munch on - Graduation...

so near...yet so far
out of reach...out of sight...but never ever out of mind...
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几许哀愁拼成梦，
点滴思念绕长空，
化为雨水纷纷落，
渗透心房成寂寞。