spring starts tomorrow. last day of dreary cold winter...and yet all i wish for now is for the next 3 days to be COLD COLD COLD!! cos we really need more snow up on the mountains for sunday...*sigh*
but signs of spring are everywhere...like those little white flowers springing up on all the grassed areas...or the fact that when i wake up at 6.40am, the sun is already up...or that when i was preparing dinner at 6.30pm, the sky is still light...and of course, the hallmark of melbourne spring:
strong winds that can blow me over if i am not careful, and on-off rain that makes an umbrella useless.
i'm worried...while i am walking in the bright sunshine and trying to stop myself from being blown away, this niggling thought keeps bugging me - if there's not enough snow, how are we gonna ski?!?!
ah well...just gotta keep my fingers crossed and if really got no snow, i guess sight-seeing is better than nothing. at least when i am back in Singapore, i can say i've been up on Mt Buller, the 'most accessible major alpine resort in Australia' *bleah*
things to look forward to:
able to wear shorts at home
able to wear skirts when i go out
able to BUY more skirts
end of all assignments
end of exams
end-of-year trip
graduation
bah...one thing at a time. now i really need to get started on that *%#%#@^&^& ethics essay
*argh*
"When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends up by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance" - Oscar Wilde
not sure how true the above statement is. appeals to a pessimist like me though.
today's weather was so warm and nice...but i am worried about our ski trip this coming sunday *bleah* i dun wanna go up to the mountain and ski in slush...been looking forward to it so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
心情陷入低潮。
不是沮丧，只觉得不想笑。
不想和太多人在一起。
自己一个，还是最自在。
总觉得在别人面前，
得掩饰自己的情绪。
可是，我却是那么糟糕的演员。
心里怎么想，脸上就显示得清清楚楚。
所以周围的人，我想也不太愿意看见我。
愁眉不展的样子，让人看了就不高兴。
也好啦。
反正我也不想浪费精力去演什么戏。
终于适应了没有别人的生活，
却是在有许多人包围着的情形下，
才发现原来独来独往，
其实比较适合我。
not sure how true the above statement is. appeals to a pessimist like me though.
today's weather was so warm and nice...but i am worried about our ski trip this coming sunday *bleah* i dun wanna go up to the mountain and ski in slush...been looking forward to it so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
心情陷入低潮。
不是沮丧，只觉得不想笑。
不想和太多人在一起。
自己一个，还是最自在。
总觉得在别人面前，
得掩饰自己的情绪。
可是，我却是那么糟糕的演员。
心里怎么想，脸上就显示得清清楚楚。
所以周围的人，我想也不太愿意看见我。
愁眉不展的样子，让人看了就不高兴。
也好啦。
反正我也不想浪费精力去演什么戏。
终于适应了没有别人的生活，
却是在有许多人包围着的情形下，
才发现原来独来独往，
其实比较适合我。
a picture says a thousand words...so here comes a 4000 word 'essay'
At Geelong train station
yummilicious crepes...blueberry on left, potato curry and cheese on right.
acting silly at Geelong train station
Gelati from Il Dolce Fredo. Joanna had green tea and bailey's, wing had lychee and roche and i had mango and jaffa. it was SO good..
stayed over at wing&joanna's last night to finish up Glass Shoes. the ending is so NOT what i wanted it to be. can't believe they killed the nicest person in the whole series...on his wedding day in the arms of his bride who stupidly cannot say 'i love you' to him 5 seconds earlier before he died. ARGH!!! well, at least this ending is much better than the Bali one...and according to the cover, the Bali one actually won awards! *crap* i just dun like sad endings..especially when for the whole show, i wanted that couple to get together...i din cry when the guy died..but i really felt damn sucky. *sigh*
and so last night was the end of our Glass Shoes marathon. maybe we would start on another drama...hehe...life's so boring here, i dunno how i survived without my own TV in first year.
At Geelong train station
yummilicious crepes...blueberry on left, potato curry and cheese on right.
acting silly at Geelong train station
Gelati from Il Dolce Fredo. Joanna had green tea and bailey's, wing had lychee and roche and i had mango and jaffa. it was SO good..
stayed over at wing&joanna's last night to finish up Glass Shoes. the ending is so NOT what i wanted it to be. can't believe they killed the nicest person in the whole series...on his wedding day in the arms of his bride who stupidly cannot say 'i love you' to him 5 seconds earlier before he died. ARGH!!! well, at least this ending is much better than the Bali one...and according to the cover, the Bali one actually won awards! *crap* i just dun like sad endings..especially when for the whole show, i wanted that couple to get together...i din cry when the guy died..but i really felt damn sucky. *sigh*
and so last night was the end of our Glass Shoes marathon. maybe we would start on another drama...hehe...life's so boring here, i dunno how i survived without my own TV in first year.
我想起妈妈的怀抱。
躲在妈妈的怀里，远离这世间的事事非非，
那一段童年的日子，已经离我太遥远。
我好想离开这个世界。
抛下一切的一切，放弃所有的包袱，
不需要再乔装自己的感情，自由来去。
心里好冷好寂寞
别人的不解，成为了我的负担。
我的冷酷无情，成为了别人的不满。
一遍遍的开解，听进去了，却是说易行难。
眼眶不断涌出的泪水，
洗不掉我脸上的忧愁，淹不掉我心里的难过。
好累，好想找个人让我靠一靠。
好多话说不出口，闷在心里，渐渐的腐蚀我。
****************************************************
i feel like the lousiest person in this whole world...
so lousy that i really shouldn't be here at all...
i've brought no good..and caused more harm...
if i am gone,
if i am no longer here, perhaps people i know would be much more happier...
a gnawing pain inside me
a throbbing ache within
no words to describe what i feel
only tears that wouldn't stop flowing
when would the pain stop?
when would the tears dry?
when would i finally be taken away
so that the world would become a better place......?
躲在妈妈的怀里，远离这世间的事事非非，
那一段童年的日子，已经离我太遥远。
我好想离开这个世界。
抛下一切的一切，放弃所有的包袱，
不需要再乔装自己的感情，自由来去。
心里好冷好寂寞
别人的不解，成为了我的负担。
我的冷酷无情，成为了别人的不满。
一遍遍的开解，听进去了，却是说易行难。
眼眶不断涌出的泪水，
洗不掉我脸上的忧愁，淹不掉我心里的难过。
好累，好想找个人让我靠一靠。
好多话说不出口，闷在心里，渐渐的腐蚀我。
****************************************************
i feel like the lousiest person in this whole world...
so lousy that i really shouldn't be here at all...
i've brought no good..and caused more harm...
if i am gone,
if i am no longer here, perhaps people i know would be much more happier...
a gnawing pain inside me
a throbbing ache within
no words to describe what i feel
only tears that wouldn't stop flowing
when would the pain stop?
when would the tears dry?
when would i finally be taken away
so that the world would become a better place......?
hydro again today. and got a kid who likes to grab onto me and cling like a koala. another kid which i did sea-weeding for like 30 mins. my biceps are so so sore, even bending my arms hurts like crazy.
*sob*
another night of bad sleep...i guess 2 weeks hols really screwed up my body's clock. or maybe the break from clinics has permanently erased all forms of information related to clinics. my mind is just blank most of the time. all i can think of is my comfy bed and going to sleep.
*yawn*
don't like having strangers in my place. makes me feel that my personal space has been invaded and have to damp down all the 'fight-flight' response i am having. it's as if every little thing that goes wrong or is out of place is a pin in my eye, pain in my neck. instinct is to scream at someone or to run away from this place...neither of which are acceptable in the current situation.
*sigh*
technically only 37 days of uni left before swot vac. 3.5 months to graduation. just when i thought august was passing fairly fast, time slowed down in my world to a snail's pace.
*groan*
*sob*
another night of bad sleep...i guess 2 weeks hols really screwed up my body's clock. or maybe the break from clinics has permanently erased all forms of information related to clinics. my mind is just blank most of the time. all i can think of is my comfy bed and going to sleep.
*yawn*
don't like having strangers in my place. makes me feel that my personal space has been invaded and have to damp down all the 'fight-flight' response i am having. it's as if every little thing that goes wrong or is out of place is a pin in my eye, pain in my neck. instinct is to scream at someone or to run away from this place...neither of which are acceptable in the current situation.
*sigh*
technically only 37 days of uni left before swot vac. 3.5 months to graduation. just when i thought august was passing fairly fast, time slowed down in my world to a snail's pace.
*groan*
tired tired tired
First day back at clinic. and I think everyone feels the same during clinics...everyone has heard someone else say this at the end of each clinical day
I am exhausted.
Actually I really didn’t do much. The thing that really sapped my energy is hydrotherapy. Kids who are totally dependent on me to prevent them from drowning…they really need a lot of strength and endurance in order for me to ‘sea-weed’ them in the water. Doesn’t help when the kid is almost as big as I am. *bleah*
And not getting good sleep isn’t helping at all. On top of everything else, I feel totally out of control with my current situation…
Uncomfortable is an understatement.
Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel.
Anger seeps in every now and then.
Sadness permeates right to my very core.
Irritation causes me to tear up at the slightest mistake.
Negative thoughts, negative emotions.
I am just positively at the brink of a ‘dam-breaking’ moment.
I spent 5 mins with my head on my table,
Totally spent from today’s hydro
And then hopelessly trying to stop those tears from dropping
Perhaps one day, I’ll gain some control back into my out-of-control world
But right now,
I just wanna lie in bed…
Close my eyes...
And wake up in my Singapore bedroom…
“我以为你给了我一线希望，
我伸出手却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它总叫人更加悲伤，
就让我在回忆里继续梦幻。
我以为我从此能快乐飞翔，
在梦醒后却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它能叫人更加勇敢，
就让我在地狱里等待天堂。”
I am exhausted.
Actually I really didn’t do much. The thing that really sapped my energy is hydrotherapy. Kids who are totally dependent on me to prevent them from drowning…they really need a lot of strength and endurance in order for me to ‘sea-weed’ them in the water. Doesn’t help when the kid is almost as big as I am. *bleah*
And not getting good sleep isn’t helping at all. On top of everything else, I feel totally out of control with my current situation…
Uncomfortable is an understatement.
Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel.
Anger seeps in every now and then.
Sadness permeates right to my very core.
Irritation causes me to tear up at the slightest mistake.
Negative thoughts, negative emotions.
I am just positively at the brink of a ‘dam-breaking’ moment.
I spent 5 mins with my head on my table,
Totally spent from today’s hydro
And then hopelessly trying to stop those tears from dropping
Perhaps one day, I’ll gain some control back into my out-of-control world
But right now,
I just wanna lie in bed…
Close my eyes...
And wake up in my Singapore bedroom…
“我以为你给了我一线希望，
我伸出手却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它总叫人更加悲伤，
就让我在回忆里继续梦幻。
我以为我从此能快乐飞翔，
在梦醒后却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它能叫人更加勇敢，
就让我在地狱里等待天堂。”
《琵琶行》 -白居易
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁？琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六么。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流冰下难。
冰泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声暂歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东舟西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨括弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才伏，妆成每被秋娘妒。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红绡不知数。
钿头云篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕船月明江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物？杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与村笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多？江州司马青衫湿。
i posted a chinese 'short' story on my blog before, and a few people managed to finish reading it. this time, i am posting a chinese poem...a very long one indeed with 616 characters. for those who managed to finish reading it *APPLAUSE* though i expect most people would give up somewhere between the first and second line. dunno how many people who read it actually understand what it means. took me quite some time to fully grasp the meaning behind this poem. nonetheless, just a little something to improve my chinese...hope i din bore most of u to tears.
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁？琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六么。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流冰下难。
冰泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声暂歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东舟西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨括弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才伏，妆成每被秋娘妒。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红绡不知数。
钿头云篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕船月明江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物？杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与村笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多？江州司马青衫湿。
the bits in bold are 2 phrases more commonly heard and used. now i know where they came from.
i posted a chinese 'short' story on my blog before, and a few people managed to finish reading it. this time, i am posting a chinese poem...a very long one indeed with 616 characters. for those who managed to finish reading it *APPLAUSE* though i expect most people would give up somewhere between the first and second line. dunno how many people who read it actually understand what it means. took me quite some time to fully grasp the meaning behind this poem. nonetheless, just a little something to improve my chinese...hope i din bore most of u to tears.
i've just wasted 19 hours of my life watching a korean drama. why is it a waste? cos the story was so slow and the ending sucks. *bleah* and if i based my impression of koreans on this drama, i can only say that
1) filthy rich koreans are despicable, loud/shrill and has strange dress sense (including wearing furry coats that make them look like ah-meng)
2) korean men all have anger management issues. they let off steam by yelling and punching each other. DUH-UH!
3) poor korean girls are really sad-case. they dun stand up for their own rights and let guys (in particular rich guys) walk all over them.
4) koreans (rich or poor, guy or girl, old or young) can eat a-damn-lot of food. 2 persons eating can have up to 6 dishes and 1 soup. *kaoz*
of course, i hope this drama is not reflecting what's really happening in Korea..if not really very sad leh. haiz. pretty sure the show exaggerated bits here and there...and i hope it's really OVER-exaggerated. sadder still if this show is actually an exaggerated version of the real world. how pathetic human beings are if we actually behave like that (in a milder version...)
my assignment is taking longer than i expected...and i believe my hormones are out of balance cos i am in my duncomeandkacheowmeleavemealone mode. just cannot stomach the thought that i have to socialise. sigh...hermit nature back in full force. ah well, this is what holing in the apartment for the whole day does to me (and also finishing a whole korean series in 2 days...)
good news of the day? starting elective at St Paul's College next monday..and i don't have to wear clinical uniform! *WOOHOO* okay, the uniform is not ugly. just that i look ugly in it (hard to find anything i actually look pretty in. but i actually look UGLY in the uniform). and it's great knowing that i don't have to wear the same outfit 4 days in a row.
okie dokie..back to assignment...*crap*
1) filthy rich koreans are despicable, loud/shrill and has strange dress sense (including wearing furry coats that make them look like ah-meng)
2) korean men all have anger management issues. they let off steam by yelling and punching each other. DUH-UH!
3) poor korean girls are really sad-case. they dun stand up for their own rights and let guys (in particular rich guys) walk all over them.
4) koreans (rich or poor, guy or girl, old or young) can eat a-damn-lot of food. 2 persons eating can have up to 6 dishes and 1 soup. *kaoz*
of course, i hope this drama is not reflecting what's really happening in Korea..if not really very sad leh. haiz. pretty sure the show exaggerated bits here and there...and i hope it's really OVER-exaggerated. sadder still if this show is actually an exaggerated version of the real world. how pathetic human beings are if we actually behave like that (in a milder version...)
my assignment is taking longer than i expected...and i believe my hormones are out of balance cos i am in my duncomeandkacheowmeleavemealone mode. just cannot stomach the thought that i have to socialise. sigh...hermit nature back in full force. ah well, this is what holing in the apartment for the whole day does to me (and also finishing a whole korean series in 2 days...)
good news of the day? starting elective at St Paul's College next monday..and i don't have to wear clinical uniform! *WOOHOO* okay, the uniform is not ugly. just that i look ugly in it (hard to find anything i actually look pretty in. but i actually look UGLY in the uniform). and it's great knowing that i don't have to wear the same outfit 4 days in a row.
okie dokie..back to assignment...*crap*
one more week of hols left...
still haven't finish my assignment...
motivation remains record low...
excitement to go to Geelong and ski-ing is decreasing...
dread to go to clinics increasing...
stress about other assignments coming on...
worry about exams starting to infiltrate my thoughts...
wish someone is here to go out with me...
stroll by the river...
or maybe the beach...
just silent company...
sharing unspoken thoughts...
haven't felt that kind of connection...
with another human being for so long...
*****************************************************
想啊想，结局不变。
不执着，谈何容易？
“放下，放弃，放宽心”
嘴里不说，心里却念个不停。
话哽在喉咙里，
不敢说。
希望收在心里，
不敢看。
梦里梦外，分不清是真是假。
只知道孤单的感觉，
让我好难受。
没有人陪，我不在乎。
自己的世界，我自己掌控。
可是寂寞的阴影，
在我身旁绕来绕去。
一直提醒着我，
自己的世界，永远都有寂寞陪伴。
不让别人走进来，
寂寞就永远不离开。
想打开心，怕被伤害。
想主动，怕历史重演。
所以，
还是那两个字：等待 等待 等待
still haven't finish my assignment...
motivation remains record low...
excitement to go to Geelong and ski-ing is decreasing...
dread to go to clinics increasing...
stress about other assignments coming on...
worry about exams starting to infiltrate my thoughts...
wish someone is here to go out with me...
stroll by the river...
or maybe the beach...
just silent company...
sharing unspoken thoughts...
haven't felt that kind of connection...
with another human being for so long...
*****************************************************
想啊想，结局不变。
不执着，谈何容易？
“放下，放弃，放宽心”
嘴里不说，心里却念个不停。
话哽在喉咙里，
不敢说。
希望收在心里，
不敢看。
梦里梦外，分不清是真是假。
只知道孤单的感觉，
让我好难受。
没有人陪，我不在乎。
自己的世界，我自己掌控。
可是寂寞的阴影，
在我身旁绕来绕去。
一直提醒着我，
自己的世界，永远都有寂寞陪伴。
不让别人走进来，
寂寞就永远不离开。
想打开心，怕被伤害。
想主动，怕历史重演。
所以，
还是那两个字：等待 等待 等待
好像很久以前，
隐隐有了那一丁点的感觉。
当时把感觉压下去了，
想让一切只属于回忆。
过了这一段时间，
时过境迁。
久未相见，却依然念念不忘。
但感觉被压抑着，
所以也就没注意到那切切的思念。
偶然的情况下，
无意翻起了当初的心动。
如今，心里的波浪越来越大，
烦恼也就越来越多。
而本来没注意到的思念，
竟成了朝思暮想。
这样的感受，
似乎曾经有过。
可是，经过了这事事非非，
已经没有当时的勇气。
不敢说，怕伤了不堪一击的心。
好想说，怕错过了一段良缘。
不能说，怕断送了单纯的友谊。
左右为难，进退两难。
守口如瓶，静观棋变。
也只有抱着一颗平常心，
等待，等待。
期待，期待。
**************************************************
唉 唉 唉
为什么今天总是觉得心情好沮丧？
笑不出来，也哭不出来。
为了什么让我一直唉声叹息？
想到什么让我牵肠挂肚？
思绪犹如袅袅青烟
心情乱如大海波涛
青烟化为云，云朵悠悠飘动。
波涛化为浪，浪花频频闪烁。
海岸线上，云朵浪花难分辩。
思绪心情也融为一体
分不清，想不透，
只剩忧郁重重。
外面的天气变换无穷，
“又是风雨又是晴”。
屋内的我却心情依旧，
只见风雨不见晴。
隐隐有了那一丁点的感觉。
当时把感觉压下去了，
想让一切只属于回忆。
过了这一段时间，
时过境迁。
久未相见，却依然念念不忘。
但感觉被压抑着，
所以也就没注意到那切切的思念。
偶然的情况下，
无意翻起了当初的心动。
如今，心里的波浪越来越大，
烦恼也就越来越多。
而本来没注意到的思念，
竟成了朝思暮想。
这样的感受，
似乎曾经有过。
可是，经过了这事事非非，
已经没有当时的勇气。
不敢说，怕伤了不堪一击的心。
好想说，怕错过了一段良缘。
不能说，怕断送了单纯的友谊。
左右为难，进退两难。
守口如瓶，静观棋变。
也只有抱着一颗平常心，
等待，等待。
期待，期待。
**************************************************
唉 唉 唉
为什么今天总是觉得心情好沮丧？
笑不出来，也哭不出来。
为了什么让我一直唉声叹息？
想到什么让我牵肠挂肚？
思绪犹如袅袅青烟
心情乱如大海波涛
青烟化为云，云朵悠悠飘动。
波涛化为浪，浪花频频闪烁。
海岸线上，云朵浪花难分辩。
思绪心情也融为一体
分不清，想不透，
只剩忧郁重重。
外面的天气变换无穷，
“又是风雨又是晴”。
屋内的我却心情依旧，
只见风雨不见晴。
news report on tv: snow in victoria...
not on the mountains..but actually in low-lying rural regions. germ told me earlier that it might have snowed in the city...but since there's not new report on that, i guess it didn't. bah...if only i'll get to see snow in melbourne city in my final year...that would be so cool. *sigh*
went for BodyPump and BodyStep today. it has been one year since i try to go for 2 classes back to back. one year ago, germ and i would go for the Friday lessons conducted by Di cos both of us love her. one year later, it's just me going for the lessons. nonetheless, i enjoyed myself very much. didn't know certain muscles of mine actually still exist until i got them working with lifting weights during BodyPump.
NOW, i am so exhausted. even sit-to-stand is hard...can feel my muscles quivering from that little bit of effort. wonder how on earth i am going to get out of bed tomorrow (my 'bed' is a mattress on the floor...) *bleah* still, i feel better about myself after i went for the exercise classes. hehe...deluding myself that 2 hours of liftsquatscurlsjumpstep can burn off the excess amount of food i've been eating.
sleepy sleepy sleepy... my bed is calling out to me...an early night would be a good idea...tomorrow,i'll be aching so badly that i won't be able to do anything but sit in front of my comp and do my assignment. good good...better get as much done as i can this week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my MSN nick now is "飞雪连天射白鹿，笑书侠神倚碧鸳". for people who liked RPG games, might have heard of the game 金庸群侠传. and the 2 lines is actually the 1st word of the 14 books 金庸 wrote. just a little intro in case people i chat to have no idea what my nick is referring to.
anywayz, was talking to weilung earlier today. turns out that he had read most of his books(unlike me who only read 3 of the 14: 射雕英雄传，神雕侠侣 and 碧血剑。) so we had a short conversation on the books he wrote. and we come up with the following conclusions
1) 金庸 is quite hum-sup...cos all the girls in his stories are very beautiful
2) He has super-wonderful imagination (to come up with so many different kinds of skills) and damn powerful Chinese (四个字，四个字的）
3) His stories often have bits where the couples get intimate (i.e. making out)...yet he used his superb 成语 vocab to describe these bits without actually mentioning what they are doing *bwahahaha*
and, i also came up with a 2 questions...
1) 葵花宝典 requires a guy to be castrated before practising this skill. the guy becomes a transexual after practising...does this mean a girl becomes ultra-feminine if she practise it?
2) who is the mystery man 孤独求败? his name appeared in 神雕侠侣...and then again in 笑傲江湖(令狐冲学了独孤九剑， 却不是向独孤求败学的). so who is he?? some super-powerful swordman who is undefeated?
sigh..i miss reading chinese books. when i go back Singapore, definitely must go and borrow the other 11 books that i haven't read.
**********************************************************
天之道 损有余而补不足
是故虚胜实 不足胜有余
精化为气 气化为神 神化为虚
not on the mountains..but actually in low-lying rural regions. germ told me earlier that it might have snowed in the city...but since there's not new report on that, i guess it didn't. bah...if only i'll get to see snow in melbourne city in my final year...that would be so cool. *sigh*
went for BodyPump and BodyStep today. it has been one year since i try to go for 2 classes back to back. one year ago, germ and i would go for the Friday lessons conducted by Di cos both of us love her. one year later, it's just me going for the lessons. nonetheless, i enjoyed myself very much. didn't know certain muscles of mine actually still exist until i got them working with lifting weights during BodyPump.
NOW, i am so exhausted. even sit-to-stand is hard...can feel my muscles quivering from that little bit of effort. wonder how on earth i am going to get out of bed tomorrow (my 'bed' is a mattress on the floor...) *bleah* still, i feel better about myself after i went for the exercise classes. hehe...deluding myself that 2 hours of liftsquatscurlsjumpstep can burn off the excess amount of food i've been eating.
sleepy sleepy sleepy... my bed is calling out to me...an early night would be a good idea...tomorrow,i'll be aching so badly that i won't be able to do anything but sit in front of my comp and do my assignment. good good...better get as much done as i can this week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my MSN nick now is "飞雪连天射白鹿，笑书侠神倚碧鸳". for people who liked RPG games, might have heard of the game 金庸群侠传. and the 2 lines is actually the 1st word of the 14 books 金庸 wrote. just a little intro in case people i chat to have no idea what my nick is referring to.
anywayz, was talking to weilung earlier today. turns out that he had read most of his books(unlike me who only read 3 of the 14: 射雕英雄传，神雕侠侣 and 碧血剑。) so we had a short conversation on the books he wrote. and we come up with the following conclusions
1) 金庸 is quite hum-sup...cos all the girls in his stories are very beautiful
2) He has super-wonderful imagination (to come up with so many different kinds of skills) and damn powerful Chinese (四个字，四个字的）
3) His stories often have bits where the couples get intimate (i.e. making out)...yet he used his superb 成语 vocab to describe these bits without actually mentioning what they are doing *bwahahaha*
and, i also came up with a 2 questions...
1) 葵花宝典 requires a guy to be castrated before practising this skill. the guy becomes a transexual after practising...does this mean a girl becomes ultra-feminine if she practise it?
2) who is the mystery man 孤独求败? his name appeared in 神雕侠侣...and then again in 笑傲江湖(令狐冲学了独孤九剑， 却不是向独孤求败学的). so who is he?? some super-powerful swordman who is undefeated?
sigh..i miss reading chinese books. when i go back Singapore, definitely must go and borrow the other 11 books that i haven't read.
**********************************************************
天之道 损有余而补不足
是故虚胜实 不足胜有余
精化为气 气化为神 神化为虚
Happy National Day to all the Singaporeans reading my blog *grinz*
I always feel that the older NDP songs are much more meaningful and nicer than the more recent ones. probably cos back in those days, the songs talk more about making Singapore our home. now, the songs all talk about fighting for the future...
was searching through the NDP website, and i found this NDP song that i LOVED when i first heard it at a very young age of 10 years old...
It's the Little Things
Over the years
i've grown to be a part of you
You've cared for me and opened the ways
to a happy and beautiful life
You make me feel warm and safe
and give me hope for brighter days
(It's the little things that we share
the love and joy that's in the air
the children's laughter everywhere
and all our favourite things) x2
Over the years
I've grown accustomed to your ways
and no matter where i'll be it warms my heart
to know that you're always here for me
(It's the little things that we share
the love and joy that's in the air
the children's laughter everywhere
and all our favourite things) x2
Over the years
i've learnt that we share our destiny
and no matter how good others may be
noone cares like you care for me
cos deep down inside i feel you're part of me
My Singapore, the place i call my home
darn...the last line of the song is bringing tears to my eyes. *sob* still remember when i attended a seminar in Dec last year with scholars from other organisations, and we were talking about building Singaporean identity. i stupidly said that when it's National Day and i am stuck in a foreign land, i'd cry when i hear NDP songs, and on the spot, i really felt like i was going to break down into tears. geez...i guess i already have a Singaporean identity. not that i am super-patriotic or anything. but home is where my family is..and home is where i've been born and brought up...my roots are there...and i can't see myself uprooting and moving to another country.
in that sense, i admire people who leaves Singapore in search of greener pastures..cos i dun have the courage to do that.
coming overseas to study was a huge step for me. unlike many students who crave for overseas education, i belong to the "wat's wrong with NUS/NTU?" minority. for my passion in Physio, i took myself out of my comfort zone for 4 years...missed 4 NDPs and many days with my family. today, as i looked back, i give myself a pat on the back for coming here..
because if not for coming here, i wouldn't appreciate the little things in life...
mummy's cooking
sweltering heat
balmy winds
efficient service
convenient and cheap public transport
roti prata at 60cents a piece
authentic char kuay teow and laksa
durians
entertaining TV programs
all the things that many singaporeans take for granted...
so if you are one of the lucky Singaporeans reading this while wearing shorts and t-shirt (and complaining about the heat and sweat), take a moment to appreciate what you have..
because for some of us, these little things are almost impossible to get.
Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!!
I always feel that the older NDP songs are much more meaningful and nicer than the more recent ones. probably cos back in those days, the songs talk more about making Singapore our home. now, the songs all talk about fighting for the future...
was searching through the NDP website, and i found this NDP song that i LOVED when i first heard it at a very young age of 10 years old...
It's the Little Things
Over the years
i've grown to be a part of you
You've cared for me and opened the ways
to a happy and beautiful life
You make me feel warm and safe
and give me hope for brighter days
(It's the little things that we share
the love and joy that's in the air
the children's laughter everywhere
and all our favourite things) x2
Over the years
I've grown accustomed to your ways
and no matter where i'll be it warms my heart
to know that you're always here for me
(It's the little things that we share
the love and joy that's in the air
the children's laughter everywhere
and all our favourite things) x2
Over the years
i've learnt that we share our destiny
and no matter how good others may be
noone cares like you care for me
cos deep down inside i feel you're part of me
My Singapore, the place i call my home
darn...the last line of the song is bringing tears to my eyes. *sob* still remember when i attended a seminar in Dec last year with scholars from other organisations, and we were talking about building Singaporean identity. i stupidly said that when it's National Day and i am stuck in a foreign land, i'd cry when i hear NDP songs, and on the spot, i really felt like i was going to break down into tears. geez...i guess i already have a Singaporean identity. not that i am super-patriotic or anything. but home is where my family is..and home is where i've been born and brought up...my roots are there...and i can't see myself uprooting and moving to another country.
in that sense, i admire people who leaves Singapore in search of greener pastures..cos i dun have the courage to do that.
coming overseas to study was a huge step for me. unlike many students who crave for overseas education, i belong to the "wat's wrong with NUS/NTU?" minority. for my passion in Physio, i took myself out of my comfort zone for 4 years...missed 4 NDPs and many days with my family. today, as i looked back, i give myself a pat on the back for coming here..
because if not for coming here, i wouldn't appreciate the little things in life...
mummy's cooking
sweltering heat
balmy winds
efficient service
convenient and cheap public transport
roti prata at 60cents a piece
authentic char kuay teow and laksa
durians
entertaining TV programs
all the things that many singaporeans take for granted...
so if you are one of the lucky Singaporeans reading this while wearing shorts and t-shirt (and complaining about the heat and sweat), take a moment to appreciate what you have..
because for some of us, these little things are almost impossible to get.
Happy 40th Birthday Singapore!!
monday blues...
even though it's hols and i should be happy
still feeling unsettled...
awaiting the arrival of police report so i can start replacing stolen cards
in the meantime,
complete lack of motivation to do assignment...
tomorrow, i will do more constructive stuff...
like go for a long walk...
and going for BodyBalance in the evening
get heart pumping more blood to my brain...
might kick-start the 'motivation' ignitor in my head
and maybe i'll clean up my room
perhaps start packing stuff that i no longer need...
strong urge to go shopping
want to buy new shoes, new clothes
and a new bag
though what i really need
is to save money for ski trip and end of year trip
wp's invitation to go Spain remains as a huge temptation
never been to europe before
and spain sounds like a good place to go for christmas...
the end seems a teensy bit nearer...
countdown to graduation: 4 months
July felt so long...
but August seem to be moving along well
Sep marks the start of spring
and also the ski trip that hopefully would materialise
along comes Oct...SWOT VAC and exams
followed by Nov and the much-looked-forward trip
(and Nov is my fav month of the year...)
and finally..DECEMBER
when i can board that homebound flight
and once again melt in the sweltering heat of sunny Singapore.
i need warmth..i need the sun
want to feel the rays warming up my skin
and get a nice tan instead of looking pasty and sick
alrighty..enough whining
back to the task at hand...
rotting my time away with trashy novels and MSN chatting. *wuahahahaha*
even though it's hols and i should be happy
still feeling unsettled...
awaiting the arrival of police report so i can start replacing stolen cards
in the meantime,
complete lack of motivation to do assignment...
tomorrow, i will do more constructive stuff...
like go for a long walk...
and going for BodyBalance in the evening
get heart pumping more blood to my brain...
might kick-start the 'motivation' ignitor in my head
and maybe i'll clean up my room
perhaps start packing stuff that i no longer need...
strong urge to go shopping
want to buy new shoes, new clothes
and a new bag
though what i really need
is to save money for ski trip and end of year trip
wp's invitation to go Spain remains as a huge temptation
never been to europe before
and spain sounds like a good place to go for christmas...
the end seems a teensy bit nearer...
countdown to graduation: 4 months
July felt so long...
but August seem to be moving along well
Sep marks the start of spring
and also the ski trip that hopefully would materialise
along comes Oct...SWOT VAC and exams
followed by Nov and the much-looked-forward trip
(and Nov is my fav month of the year...)
and finally..DECEMBER
when i can board that homebound flight
and once again melt in the sweltering heat of sunny Singapore.
i need warmth..i need the sun
want to feel the rays warming up my skin
and get a nice tan instead of looking pasty and sick
alrighty..enough whining
back to the task at hand...
rotting my time away with trashy novels and MSN chatting. *wuahahahaha*
ruby's surprise bday party on fri was a success *applause* and it was a rare opportunity for everyone to dress up and look pretty (or in my case, try and look pretty...)
photos time!
at ruby's party...wing says i have thin arms...judging from this pic, i beg to differ
back at my apartment...wing, vinh and moi...
wing and moi...i am in a forward-head (a.k.a. poking head) posture to prevent my double chins from showing. *bleah
"Happy Family"
i've concluded that i am one of those people who looks bad in photos. no matter how i pose, or smile, i just look bad.
and sadly enough, i don't even look good in real life. so i can't even console myself...sigh...
APA PD day today was good. had a 30 mins crash Pilates course. and it was REALLY hard. the instructor/physio made it look so easy though...whereas all of us are just struggling to maintain our balance while trying to make sure we are in good alignment.when i get back to singapore, i should join Pilates class. maybe it'd help to undo some of those terrible postures i have。
2 weeks break has started on Friday. 3 days have passed and i have done nothing constructive.
bad mood from losing wallet still stopping me from enjoying my break. crap.
and to top it all off, i have an assignment to do OVER the hols. wth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
细雨飘飘，灰蒙蒙的天空带着丝丝惆怅。
回忆绵绵，静悄悄的心房泛起频频涟漪。
photos time!
at ruby's party...wing says i have thin arms...judging from this pic, i beg to differ
back at my apartment...wing, vinh and moi...
wing and moi...i am in a forward-head (a.k.a. poking head) posture to prevent my double chins from showing. *bleah
"Happy Family"
i've concluded that i am one of those people who looks bad in photos. no matter how i pose, or smile, i just look bad.
and sadly enough, i don't even look good in real life. so i can't even console myself...sigh...
APA PD day today was good. had a 30 mins crash Pilates course. and it was REALLY hard. the instructor/physio made it look so easy though...whereas all of us are just struggling to maintain our balance while trying to make sure we are in good alignment.when i get back to singapore, i should join Pilates class. maybe it'd help to undo some of those terrible postures i have。
2 weeks break has started on Friday. 3 days have passed and i have done nothing constructive.
bad mood from losing wallet still stopping me from enjoying my break. crap.
and to top it all off, i have an assignment to do OVER the hols. wth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
细雨飘飘，灰蒙蒙的天空带着丝丝惆怅。
回忆绵绵，静悄悄的心房泛起频频涟漪。
the one thing that i've been most afraid of happening to me happened.
my wallet got stolen today...
since the first day i landed in this foreign land, i keep telling myself to be careful with my wallet. and people around had been unlucky over the past 3.5 years. and i guess i got too careless over time when it din happened to me...
so i learnt my lesson(s) today...
i would NOT put my wallet in the front pocket of my bacpack ever again.
i would NOT go window shopping when i have better things to do (like get my groceries and go home...).
i would NOT put so many different kinds of cards in my wallet.
had to go to the police station to report the theft/pickpocketing. the policeman (constable Ponder...) was quite nice...i was in tears and he was like "it's ok m'am. u're not hurt, and we'll sort out all the card problems here." had to call the bank and Mastercard office to cancel the cards. guy from mastercard was so nice. he was trying to console me. i think i must have looked like an idiot at the police station.
and i felt like an idiot then...
came home and called my parents to tell them how stupid i was. and my parents were fantastic. father told me that at least it was pickpocket, not robbery. my mum told me to go and buy Toto. *diong* but that was her way of cheering me up. still, i got a earful of
"whyuputurwalletinthebackpacknexttimeuseawaistpouchorputinurpocket-blah blah blah..."
going to the temple helped me to be more in control of the situation. i keep telling myself to look at the silver lining of the cloud.
wat's the silver lining of the cloud? i took out the $800 for the ski trip in my wallet this morning...so i've only lost about $40 worth cash and other stuff. *phew*
and my mum also reinforced that thinking. and she also said that my affinity with that wallet (and watever that's in it) is probably over.
该失去的，留不住。该得到的，逃不掉。
只能一直告诉自己：舍得，舍得，有舍才有得。
不断重复妈妈说的话：“用平常心看待这件事，心情才会平静下来。破财消灾啊！”
消灾？也许吧。也许没有破财，我可能会受到更大的挫折。
“也许因为昨天吃斋，积了德，所以昨天钱包没有被扒。如果昨天被扒，损失的就是那$800 ！”
也只有这样安慰自己了。
经一事，长一智。人都是在面对挫折后，犯下错后，才会学习，才会长大。
*****************************************************************
argh..so pissed off at myself for being so careless and stupid. sighz...got no appetite for any kind of food now. just want my wallet to miraculously reappear in front of me. *sob*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
indomee for dinner. 2 mandarins for dessert.
waiting for clothes to dry in dryer.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. playing in the background.
all this time, my mind keeps wondering whether Winnie on my wallet likes its new owner
or maybe, it's dumped in a bin..
or in the Yarra river.
[still remember when peileng was in brisbane and her bag got stolen
couple of weeks later, police found her bag in the brisbane river.]
have this urge to call someone to talk...
yet racking my head for that 'someone'
i came up with nobody.
a familiar feeling called loneliness
that sinking feeling in the gut
telling me that my tears are barely under control
and that what i really need/want
is for 'someone' to hold me
and tell me i am not an idiot for letting my wallet get stolen
a not-so-familiar feeling
of not having an identity anymore.
no student card...no driver's license...
no atm card...no medibank card...
i wonder how long it would take..
for me to replace everything.
and how long it would take...
for me to forgive myself...
my wallet got stolen today...
since the first day i landed in this foreign land, i keep telling myself to be careful with my wallet. and people around had been unlucky over the past 3.5 years. and i guess i got too careless over time when it din happened to me...
so i learnt my lesson(s) today...
i would NOT put my wallet in the front pocket of my bacpack ever again.
i would NOT go window shopping when i have better things to do (like get my groceries and go home...).
i would NOT put so many different kinds of cards in my wallet.
had to go to the police station to report the theft/pickpocketing. the policeman (constable Ponder...) was quite nice...i was in tears and he was like "it's ok m'am. u're not hurt, and we'll sort out all the card problems here." had to call the bank and Mastercard office to cancel the cards. guy from mastercard was so nice. he was trying to console me. i think i must have looked like an idiot at the police station.
and i felt like an idiot then...
came home and called my parents to tell them how stupid i was. and my parents were fantastic. father told me that at least it was pickpocket, not robbery. my mum told me to go and buy Toto. *diong* but that was her way of cheering me up. still, i got a earful of
"whyuputurwalletinthebackpacknexttimeuseawaistpouchorputinurpocket-blah blah blah..."
going to the temple helped me to be more in control of the situation. i keep telling myself to look at the silver lining of the cloud.
wat's the silver lining of the cloud? i took out the $800 for the ski trip in my wallet this morning...so i've only lost about $40 worth cash and other stuff. *phew*
and my mum also reinforced that thinking. and she also said that my affinity with that wallet (and watever that's in it) is probably over.
该失去的，留不住。该得到的，逃不掉。
只能一直告诉自己：舍得，舍得，有舍才有得。
不断重复妈妈说的话：“用平常心看待这件事，心情才会平静下来。破财消灾啊！”
消灾？也许吧。也许没有破财，我可能会受到更大的挫折。
“也许因为昨天吃斋，积了德，所以昨天钱包没有被扒。如果昨天被扒，损失的就是那$800 ！”
也只有这样安慰自己了。
经一事，长一智。人都是在面对挫折后，犯下错后，才会学习，才会长大。
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argh..so pissed off at myself for being so careless and stupid. sighz...got no appetite for any kind of food now. just want my wallet to miraculously reappear in front of me. *sob*
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indomee for dinner. 2 mandarins for dessert.
waiting for clothes to dry in dryer.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. playing in the background.
all this time, my mind keeps wondering whether Winnie on my wallet likes its new owner
or maybe, it's dumped in a bin..
or in the Yarra river.
[still remember when peileng was in brisbane and her bag got stolen
couple of weeks later, police found her bag in the brisbane river.]
have this urge to call someone to talk...
yet racking my head for that 'someone'
i came up with nobody.
a familiar feeling called loneliness
that sinking feeling in the gut
telling me that my tears are barely under control
and that what i really need/want
is for 'someone' to hold me
and tell me i am not an idiot for letting my wallet get stolen
a not-so-familiar feeling
of not having an identity anymore.
no student card...no driver's license...
no atm card...no medibank card...
i wonder how long it would take..
for me to replace everything.
and how long it would take...
for me to forgive myself...
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