tired tired tired

First day back at clinic. and I think everyone feels the same during clinics...everyone has heard someone else say this at the end of each clinical day

I am exhausted.

Actually I really didn’t do much. The thing that really sapped my energy is hydrotherapy. Kids who are totally dependent on me to prevent them from drowning…they really need a lot of strength and endurance in order for me to ‘sea-weed’ them in the water. Doesn’t help when the kid is almost as big as I am. *bleah*

And not getting good sleep isn’t helping at all. On top of everything else, I feel totally out of control with my current situation…

Uncomfortable is an understatement.
Frustration doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel.
Anger seeps in every now and then.
Sadness permeates right to my very core.
Irritation causes me to tear up at the slightest mistake.

Negative thoughts, negative emotions.
I am just positively at the brink of a ‘dam-breaking’ moment.
I spent 5 mins with my head on my table,
Totally spent from today’s hydro
And then hopelessly trying to stop those tears from dropping
Perhaps one day, I’ll gain some control back into my out-of-control world
But right now,
I just wanna lie in bed…
Close my eyes...
And wake up in my Singapore bedroom…

“我以为你给了我一线希望，
我伸出手却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它总叫人更加悲伤，
就让我在回忆里继续梦幻。
我以为我从此能快乐飞翔，
在梦醒后却只是冰冷铁窗。
若现实它能叫人更加勇敢，
就让我在地狱里等待天堂。”