from left: me, Bugs, Melanie (cousin), my aunt's husband, Meredith (cousin), daddy, my aunt, mummy and Tweety

too tired to post anything long up. i'll just post one pic up, showing all of us at movieworld gold coast.
lotsa pics to be posted...but right now,what i really really want is to sleep sleep sleep...
exhaustion is draining me of any energy left for blogging...
suddenly, travelling sounds like a horrible idea...
cos all i wanna do..
is lie on my bed...and SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP...

on the eve of flying off to brisbane, i did stuff which is very un-Gretel..
i played 2 hours of badminton with jf and edwin, resulting in extremely sore right upper limb, which is bound to gimme lotsa discomfort while i am on the plane...
i marathon through 7 discs of korean today, starting at 7.30am in the morning...ending at 10pm tonight...
i didn't finish packing my brisbane trip stuff till abt 5 mins ago...
i am still up and typing this entry even tho i shld be asleep cos i have to wake up at 3+ am tmr morning...

so...i am excited..and i am stressed..
yes, stressed!
just ask germ..and she can tell u how stressed i look today, even i though i was watching korean.
i am stressed even though i am on vacation..WAT THE?!?!
partly cos travelling with family can lead to alot of conflict which i am bound to be caught in the middle
and partly cos tmr is 18 nov..
the day when the physio sch decides who does supps and who can go on to graduate...
and i really really wish i dun receive any phone calls...
please please please let me enjoy my time in gold coast and sydney!!!

okie dokie..better go sleep..can only catch abt 4 hours sleep...argh...
people..i will be gone from 18 nov to 25 nov..
so pardon me if my blog remains the same for the next week...
and if i dun reply to ur tag or msg...
sunshine state..hear i come!

the departures are starting to get me down...
as one by one...
the gals are leaving...
and even though i thought i would be used to friends leaving already...
somehow...this time...it's different
different because one year from now...
i would not be here...but be back home...working...
fear of change..fear of the future...
fear of what will happen, what may happen, what can happen...

i thought...i would be happy...
i thought...i would be excited...
yet all i feel now...
is that familiar longing for time to come to a standstill...
while i am typing this entry right here, right now...
because i am afraid to face what is coming ahead...
afraid of becoming a working adult...
because i'd rather be a student
who only need to worry abt getting good grades
whose greatest stress come from exams...
instead of the never-ending stress of unfinished work
unappreciated effort...
unrecognised achievements...

getting late...sleep is my route of escape..
escape from reality...
and from that gripping fear i feel..
each time i pack something into my suitcase...
each time i take something off the shelf...
and each and everytime i look at the blank naked walls of my room

sunday...sunday...sunday...
i love sunday...esp when the sun is shining but the wind is cooling...
ahh...
and i am going to DFO at essendon later..
shopping...shopping...shopping!!

but, cannot spend too much money...
cos wp just told me that the accoms in europe is gonna be ex..
sigh...i am going to be damn broke after that trip...
and i am reconsidering whether to buy a digicam or not...
argh...
decisions...decisions...decisions...

lease assignment is kinda settled...Yay!
bad stress is at a minimum...
good stress...well...still increasing...but hey, it's good stress

dinner at joanna's yest was good...
thank you germ and esther for cooking!!
esther has modified the bacon&cheese muffin...
still taste equally yummy!

i was just telling edwin and jf that day...
that i am caught in a weird zone...
when i am out with the gals...
it's all abt "i need to lose weight!!"
when i am out with the guys...
it's all abt "i need to gain weight!!"
*diong*
but, regardless of who i am with..
i always receive the "gretel u are not fat lah!"
or the "u can eat alot for someone ur size"
hmm..i guess that's good huh? i also dunno....

going out with the guys was fun...
those 2 guys really crack me up...
and it was nice to reminisence (i can't spell this word) with them..
talking abt adelaide...tasmania...CS bbqs...
looking back at those CS days...
i do miss staying there..
when u dun need to know each other's email or phone number..
all u need to remember is their unit number...
then u can work out what the internal number is...
and calling each other is free! muahaha...

ahh...liviing in memories again...
better get changed and head down to DFO..
and hopefully, i'll successfully find that mini skirt i want..
that graduation top i need...
and maybe, something else which would catch my eye *grin*

i've just finished reading a novel so trashy, i'm sure my IQ has dropped a few points.
i feel stupid now...
and on top of that,
watching 'maid in manhattan' is making me sad...
i keep forgetting that i should not, should not, watch romantic movies...
especially those cinderella type ones...
where the plainpoorunnoticed gal gets the cuterichpopular guy...
because i dun live in a hollywood movie set...
i live in the real world..
and just gotta face it right?
girls like me dun get guys like that...
in fact...
a girl like me would probably have difficulty finding a guy in the first place...

okie, i sound so desperate
but, let me emphasise that i am NOT desperate...
well...not anymore..haha
i guess what i am feeling now is more of envy...
probably a tinge of jealousy every now and then...
but, i've accepted the fact that what will come, will come..
and those that will not come...
i can whine for 24/7 and it will still...not come
so, in a way...i've found abit of inner peace...
if i am fated to spend the rest of my life alone..
then i guess i better start getting used to it now...yah?

pessimist that i am...
either i am going to be right...
and be alone forevermore...
or i'm gonna be pleasantly surprised..
when Mr Right comes into my life...

in the meantime...
i need my sleep...
and hopefully...
i find Mr Right in my dreams...
well, if i can't find him in real life...
then at least...
let him appear in my dream...

at a certain point in life, i looked back and i wondered
and then i realised that i've forgotten to look ahead and plan...
so i lost my way and made a few detours...
now that i am back to where i was...
this time round...
i'll have to keep reminding myself to look forward...
and let the memories remain in the dust...

it hit me about one hour ago...
i only have less than one month left in melbourne.
and i said it really matter-of-fact-ly as i was chatting..

"blah blah blah..and i only have like a month left...eh, wait..less than a month left here..."

and as i said it, i waited for the excitement to come...
that long-awaited feeling of FINALLY to hit me...
but it never came...
no excitement...
just alot of iwannameetupwithpeopleinsgbutnotenoughtime feeling...
somehow i think i've given myself too little time to catch my breath this hols..
everyday of my hols so far have been spent either having a meal with friends...
or window-shopping for that mini skirt i've been trying to find...
or trying to find a pair of shoes that would fit my deformed feet...
and then,
next friday off to brisbane...gold coast...sydney...
back to melb for 8 days of road trips around victoria...
graduation..
more travelling with family...
back to sg..
interview...
sakaesushikboxJAY
get backpack from yp
try out winter coat + suntan at wing's place
off to europe for 19days...
back to sg...
start work...

*kaoz* i am getting stressed from all the packed-up days ahead...
hmm...though i must say this is kinda a good kind of stress...
a bad kind of stress is the stupid assignment of lease...
which is taking too long to settle..
and gin is flying off on saturday..
meaning i have to settle it by myself...which i can't cos i need her signature..
jialat lah...
how!?!?
argh..i dun like feeling so disorganised...
sigh...
why can't things just be a teensy weensy bit more organised..
so that my hols can be just filled with good stress??

*yawn* right...need to sleep..
then tomorrow is another day of meetforlunchgoshopping
looking forward to harry potter book 6 on sat!!
looking forward to sleepover at joy's next week!!
and looking forward to finally boarding that plane to brisbane!!
been too long since i've been on a plane...

i miss yivern...i miss wing...*sob*
and ruby wld be gone this sat!!
sigh...i dun like departures...and i dun like separation...
but...it's part of life...
and i guess...
separation makes the time together seem that much more precious...

this is specially for wingki...cos stupid miss ni never put up the pic with her at my surprise 23rd...


Wing, me and Claude (and flowers and cake...)

just a little collage i made of all the pics wing and i took together this year...
top row (from left): ski trip, publicity, moomba
middle row (from left): ken's bday, gelati at fredo, after ruby's party at my place
bottom row (from left): alicia's place with plastic 'glass' shoe, housewarming at gin&yivern's, amber

hee..hopefully this will make wing feel abit better lah *grin*

I am back in the physio comp lab...*bleah* didn't think i would need to set foot back to this place after that dreadful day of OSCE. but...*sigh* need to hand in form for graduation lunch...i am so poor now, it's really heart-breaking to go to the ATM every other day to withdraw money.

and my family is gonna be spending my money to save the trouble of changing aussie dollars *sob sob* *heart pain pain*

i've finished Order of Phoenix! the ending is SO not what i hoped it would be. cannot believe that Sirius Black died!! *argh* though...maybe he will return in the Half Blood Prince. dunno about that yet...would be waiting patiently to borrow the book from Trudy...

last night was kinda fun. went to jf&edwin's place for edwin's midnight bday 'party'. and of course, with them, alcohol is a must. thing is one of their friends was really high...and was saying funny things, much to our amusement. and edwin had to shoot 6 drinks, cos there were 6 of us and he had to shoot one drink for each of us. strangely enough, he still wasn't any higher than he was before. what a disappointment. but, it was kinda fun to be back in college square again...to be in the company of guys and me being the only girl (which jf's friend pointed out that 'they may not treat u like a girl at all')...it was nice being looked after...instead of looking after people.

and though i was exhausted last night, the power of harry potter kept me up till about 4am before i finished the book and went to sleep. felt so bloaty this morning when i woke up from the beer i had last night. *bbuurrpp* and it was kinda strange to wake up in a room which is vaguely familiar even though it's not my room.

i am now gaga over this korean show called hou dou nu zhi lian. story?

plain girl has a pretty friend who's always sabotaging her. but plain girl managed to attract cutebutpoor guy and rich guy...friend is angry and jealous and kept sabotaging her. good triumph over evil, and in the end, girl went out with cutebutpoor guy (as in she chose not to go out with rich guy) because when she is with cutebutpoor guy, she is the happiest. *aaawwww* and the cutebutpoor guy is really very sweet to her...only problem is he has trouble telling her he like her..and even when he eventually do so, he make it into a joke. *sigh* and, cutebutpoor guy is really CUTE! well..in my opinion (and ruby's too...) anyway..

*drrooolll* i think lack of proper sleep is making me behave abnormally...

anyway, i really liked the show..and the song for the show - Sweet Dreams. it's in korean..so i have no idea what the song is saying..except for the 2 lines of english

"it's gonna be another day with the sunshine...."
"when we can get together i feel paradise...."

i think these 2 line pretty much sum up the message of the song eh?

Mango Gateau....YUMMY YUMMY!! and the graduation bear from yivern, and bouquet of carnations from the gals.


hhmm..i dun look too surprised. should have made a really shocked face for this photo...



Yivern, me and Claude, the graduationbear


Esther, me, Claude and cake (yummy...)


Joanna, me and Claude...


Germ, me and Claude...


Alicia, me and Claude...


Everyone, me and (of course) Claude...


Me with my prezzies and cards.

once again, wanna say a big BIG BIG THANK YOU to the gals for organizing the surprise...and buying me the prezzies. *sniffle* still feeling very touched.

holidays have started. i am now spending most of my time reading harry potter or sleepy...

ahhh..life is good...except for the occasional moment when i wonder if i need to do supps for clinical exam and OSCE. *sigh*

stayed over with wing on friday night...then at joy's for sat night. got to sleep only at 5.30am at joy's place cos we were up talking about....stuff...and also, swooning and laughing while watching love actually and bridget jone's diary.

met up with ruby dearez for lunch yesterday. had such a great time sitting at starbucks and just talking talking talking...

yes yes, life is good indeed...

and i am now gonna go back to reading harry potter...*yippee!*

[post note: sincere apologies to wing cos dun have the photo of u and me. i din receive it in my gmail...so i cannot post up. Sorry sorry soorrie!!! wah..feeling damn bad now. wing, can send me? then i'll post it up! thank you!! ]

exams are over...O.V.E.R.
and i thought this day would never come..
the day when i can sit here and type the following sentence:
i have finished my last exam as a 4th year physio student.
it really hasn't hit me yet..
the fact that i am finally free...
i guess because today's OSCE was so DARN DIFFICULT.
i feel kinda cheated by those who said it was gonna be easy
*hmph*
and so...this cloud just hangs over me...
and another cloud also hangs over me...
the cloud of 'forgetting the bed brakes'...
sigh..
but at least, i can sit and read harry potter and the order of phoenix...
instead of some manuals which i would be leaving behind for the juniors...

yivern left tonight...
i'm sad.
she's is probably one of the rare few people in melbourne
whom i have connected at a really deep level...
i've lost my vegetariandumplinggooutforawalktalkcraptalkseriouscomplainallday kaki...
and the saddest bit is...
i would not see her again for at least the next year.
*sigh*
and i think the weirdest part is that i won't get to see hbearber is because I am the one leaving for good...
instead of the other way around...
cos i am already used to people leaving melbourne and not returning...
and wing is leaving tomorrow!!
i'm gonna lose my jaychouobessessionfishballfacecraze kaki!
argh...2 losses in 24 hours...

and i must mention this...
to recognise the effort all the gals put in for me...
*sniffle* really touched...
germ,yivern,alicia,wing,joanna,esther threw me a surprise party!!!
MY FIRST SUCCESSFUL SURPRISE!!!
thank you girls...i am really touched..really really very grateful for the effort
and i got my graduationbearbear...THANK YOU YIVERN!
and other gals got me a really classy handbag...THANK YOU GALS!!
and yivern and ruby got me a Groovy Graduate key ring...THANK YOU RUBY AND YIVERN!!
AND, i got yummy Mango Gateau bday cake!!! (FYI, i love fruit cakes..) THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
oh, and i got my first bunch of flowers (carnations...i think the gals thing i am motherly...)...THANK YOU!!
*short of breath* wah, say alot of thank you. would post pics up when i get them...
all in all, thank you just doesn't sound enough..
but i am really appreciative...really really very very touched!!

okie dokie...wing waiting for me to start our HZGGIII marathon..
sleepover tonight...
last few hours with wing before she fly back into the arms of long-ge *smirk*
extremely packed weekend ahead...
need to get myself organised soon...
too many things to do...too much shock...too much excitement...
too many departures...too much attachment...
life's ups and downs?
oh yeah, i am experiencing all of them right now.

if i close my eyes...
and ignore Jay Chou singing from germ's comp...
i can easily think that i am in singapore...
why?
cos it's OMG hot today! current temperature is 32 deg!
gosh...i am sweating right now, sitting here in my room in shorts and t-shirt...
and i just had a shower...
it's just like singapore...feeling so hot that i'll take a cold shower (which i did just 20 minutes ago)...
and then come out of the shower and i'll start sweating again. *duh*

but..i open my eyes and Jay Chou's singing is the gentle reminder that
i am still here in melbourne.
day-dreaming about cheng teng and char kuay teow comes crashing down before my eyes...
which revealed the pile of musculoskeletal notes i have to get through for tomorrow's exam.
*sob sob*

had a fever this morning...and was still feverish when i arrived at the exam hall..
damn worried it was gonna affect me...
but i guess i was too caught up in all the neuro stuff to realise my forehead was burning...
drank so much water today to purge the heat out of my body..
i feel like Seletar Reservior now *bleah*
and i am still feverish...
despite the cold shower i took...
oh man..i hope i dun fall sick after exams...

just saw the 'thai hong pawnshop group' calender on my wall
(no..i didn't pawn anything. it was a free calender...)
tomorrow is hari raya puasa...and yesterday was deepavali...
geez, singaporeans must be feeling damn shiok lah...2 public hols in one week!
if not for the upcoming exams, i think the causeway would be damn jammed up tomorrow..
it'll still be jammed i guess?

*sweat*
argh...i need an electric fan! *fanning with piece of cardboard*
sigh...no point dilly-dallying here...
better get started on my revision...
one last proper written paper...
for (hopefully) the next 6 years of my life...

and of course, i won't sign off without the lyrics to another jolin song *muahaha*

你还爱我吗？- 蔡依林

夜里 传来雨的声音
轻轻 拂动心的旋律
情不自尽想起你 那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心 就淋湿了我的眼睛

爱情 需要一些呼吸
偶尔 保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系 让你自由地来去
从此想念你 只能放在我心里 喔

你还爱我吗？
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕 听到你真实的回到
你还爱我吗？
为何你总是不说话？
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 你爱我吗？

好久 没有你的消息
心里 还惦记着你
在着浪漫的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你 想听听你的声音 喔

你还爱我吗？
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕 听到你真实的回到
你还爱我吗？
为何你总是不说话？
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎 你爱我吗？

感情的路 总让人好无助
我会学着面对无助
给深爱的你祝福 喔

你还爱我吗？
我一直好想问你这句话
却又怕 听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗？
这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你 你还爱我吗？

cardio exam is a risk factor for developing lateral epicondylitis ('tennis elbow')...writing as such incredible speed is making me right arm sore. *sigh*
and i am feeling SLEEPY!! argh...cannot..still got neuro to finish *bleah*
so sick of studying...been studying almost continuously for 2 weeks...
and somehow, i just keep thinking i dunno enough...
kinda means that i wasted the 2 weeks studying right?
*chey*
*yawn*
i need to sleep...but...my neuro manuals are glaring at me...
*groan*
*yawn*
how come just when i thought time is starting to fly...
it resumed crawling again??
*yawn*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
another one for wing...now u can sing the whole bimbo song! :P

看我72变 - 蔡依林

梦里面　空气开始冒烟
矇胧中完美的脸　慢慢的出现

再见丑小鸭再见　我要洗心革面
人定可以胜天　梦想近在眼前

今天、新鲜、改变、再见

美丽极限　爱漂亮没有终点
追求完美的境界　人不爱美天诛地灭
別气妥　旧观念拋到一边
现在就开始改变　麻雀也能飞上青天

无所谓　管它缺不缺陷
让鼻子再高一点　空气才新鲜
再见单眼皮再见　腰围再小一点
努力战胜一切　缺点变成焦点

RAP：
什么正面侧面对面　只是完美弧线弧线
那个腰围再小一点　把你缺点变成优点

再见面　要你们傻了眼
无所谓正面侧面
都是完美弧线
再见丑小鸭再见　自卑留给昨天
女大要十八变看我七十二变
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
i'm in pain...yes...my headache is back...with vengeance
*OUCHIE*
and my joints are achy...
and i feel kinda cold (even though it's at least 28 deg outside now)...
i guess that's the sign that i am febrile
i feel like crap...
and neuro stuff is not entering my head...
diffusion gradient has reversed?!
narh...fat hope...
if it's reversed, then i won't have to study...
just go sleep, wake up and take exam...
can't concentrate....
too bloated from dinner...
and to top it all off...
i miss home.
germ just told me over dinner she feel like she didn't wasn't used to being home...
'dissociated' was the word she used...
i wonder if i would feel that way...
cos i haven't stepped onto Singapore soil for 9 months...
*hhhmmm*
right..no time for silly self-reflection...
i have 2 neuro manuals to read...
*freak*
i think i need panadol...
and i think i can really do with lazing around and reading trashy novels right now.
why can't neuro manuals be as enjoying as trashy novels?!
*sob*