i've reached the stage of fatness
whereby i am unwilling to look at myself in the mirror.
the stage when sitting down,
i can feel the flabs of my tummy
'oozing' over the waistband of my trackpants
the stage where i retracting my head
is causing triple chins.

darn. gotta do something about it. i am almost reaching the stage where i can't fit into my jeans. *argh*

yeah yeah, all girls complain they are fat...even when some of these girls really need to put ON weight, not lose it. but i am not talking abt losing weight here. i've long given up hope trying to lose weight. gone were the days when i can stand onto the weighing scale and still hope that i can remain in the 40+ kg range. i am not disclosing my actual weight on cyberspace...but for my height, not being in the 40+ range is almost equivalent to being near to overweight. *bleah* but,i am not too worried about weight..cos muscles weigh more than fats. so i have muscles, i have more weight. no worries there...

what i need to do is to lose flabs.

i.e. i have to start exercising MORE..and probably go back to doing BodyPump to get some of those muscle definitions back. new classes have started at the uni sports centre...BodyCombat sounds fun..and BodyBalance is what i need to get my flexibility back (hopefully one day,i can go back to dancing...)

another i need to do is to stop eating so much. i've been junking way too much. perhaps it's time for me to really watch those carbohydrates i've been overloading on. narh, dun get me wrong. i am not going to go onto those low-carb-high-protein diet. i just need to get back to my usual balanced diet. i need more veggies, more fruits...less meat and less carbs.

hmmm...time to draw up my "lose the flabs" plan and to discipline myself into following it. i've lost alot of self-discipline...and that is really not good.

and if u are worried that i would become anorexic, u can stop worrying. a junkie like me can never become anorexic. there is a higher chance of me clogging up my arteries.
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别人的眼光，
是一种威胁。
害怕他们看透我的心事，
不想让他人看出我的秘密。

你的眼光，
则是一种鼓励。
让我觉得自己还是有用的，
把心里的不安拂平了。

我的眼光，
你察觉到了吗？
当我看着你，你有什么样的感受？
我想
不会有什么吧。

因为在你的眼里，
我只是萍水相逢的过路人。
留下的脚印
很快被时间的浪花冲走。

眼睛是灵魂之窗
表达了内心最深的思想，
最贴心的欲望。
所以，
我不敢正眼看你，
怕你看出我的心里话。
而你，
也从来不正眼看我，
因为，你其实从来，就没有向我的方向看过一眼。