a sudden sense of loss and confusion is overwhelming me.
slowly and steadily, it grew and grew today...
and then all of a sudden, it explode into a huge cloud of gloom and doom.
now, the ashes from that explosion cover me from head to toe.

stress...about geri placement starting tomorrow.
heard about the horror stories
and worrying about not being able to give my best
stress...about the end-of-year trip with family.
all confused about the details
and wanting to have it all settled now

today while i was watching HZGG while reading my geri notes
my heart grew cold
like a storm that has been brewing
it emptied its contents onto my previously warm heart
now,i have no faith in myself
and i have no confidence at all about tomorrow
as if all of my happiness was suddenly sucked away by a tornado
and leaving behind this empty shell...
this hollowness gaping in my soul

i feel scared...
and i long for some form of protection
from the unknown
from the uncertainty that lies ahead.
yet i fully understand...
that life is all about change
that nothing is permanent
i always have trouble with dealing with changes...
and i wonder if there ever would be a day
i can pluck up enough courage
to face this ever-changing world...