i'm not a girl who knows how to say NO very often...and before anyone starts to let their thoughts go astray,i am referring to simple things in life when i am offered a choice.
"do you want to have some tea?".."ermm, ok" (even though tea makes me feel incredibly bloated)
"want to go shopping this weekend?".."yeah sure!"(although i have like a dozen assignments waiting on my desk)
"can i finish up the chips?"..."go ahead!"(actually,i'd prefer to be the one who's pouring the remaining chips into my mouth)
so,i've never gotten the right way to say "no" without feeling guilty, or fearing that the person might be offended. so i take the easy way out: just accept.
and thus,i usually presume people would pretty much accept my offers as well. then again, in the span of 12 hours, i think i've got rejected by someone at least 10 times.
"do you want to eat something?"..."no,i can't sleep when i'm full"
"want anything to drink?"..."no"
"why don't you stay for lunch?"..."no,i've got work to do"
ouch ouch ouch my ego is hurting right now.
maybe it's just me. 好欺负, 心太软. i need to brush up on my art of rejecting people. need to know that when offered a choice, that means i shouldn't feel too guilty about not accepting the offer. i mean, the other person could really not want me to accept the offer anyway. and i also need to learn to accept being rejected. an overtly emotional sociophobic freak like me needs to understand that when u offer others a choice, u have to be prepared to get shot down. it's part of life, isn't it?
perhaps because i am overtly emotional, it feels like a personal attack everytime i get rejected. and being sociophobic, i tend to put too much emphasis on being accepted.
arghz. the finer things in life which i haven't mastered after existing for nearly a quarter of a century. yikes.
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