winter fat...winter flab

i did myself proud today. i went to the gym!! and did my full body workout...consisting of 25 mins on a machine that simulates running/stair climbing...40 crunches,10 side crunches to each side, 24 pushups...35 lat pull downs, 45 leg presses...and stretching...
 
a little thot niggle at the back of my mind- if i ache all over tomorrow,how on earth am i going to transfer patients?? well...at least i feel good now. whatever tat comes tomorrow...i'll worry abt it tomorrow...
 
melbourne's winter is supposedly MILD...well,i cannot imagine how pple survive in places where winter is not mild...though the snow does pitch cold winters up a notch...something tat i do not get to "enjoy" here in melbourne. in the land down under...winter consist of cold winds,cold air and basically cold everything. the kind of weather which makes u want to stay under ur quilt forever...the kind of weather that makes waking up in the morning a torturous event. so although the temperature is like12-14  degrees celsius max...which on comparison to places with a max of -20 degrees celsius makes me cringe with embarrassment for grumbling..it's still BLOODY DAMN COLD!!! considering i am a tropical girl accustomed to a min of 26 degrees celsius...i think it's valid that i am complaining and grumbling...
 
and to top it all off...winter is making me fat. ok,i must admit i have had a few binges in the past 2 weeks...usually as a therapy for my depressed mood...more often just cos i am do hungry most of the time. but i am putting on fat and flab faster than u can say "huh?" maybe it's time i use the sauna in college square to bluff my body into believing it's summer and start losing all the insulation it is trying to put on...
 
i cannot imagine han wei's face if he sees me now...and how hard he would laugh when he pinches the three layers i have on my tummy. oh god...when i see myself in the mirror,i feel like a big fat slob. sighz...ironically,my friend commented today i look slimmer than before..haha...must be due to the thick jacket i was wearing,making me look small and vulnerable...
 
when actually hidden beneath those layers is a fat and flabby me. SIGHZ!!!!!
 
couple of people came to look at my apartment today...one of them look quite interested.so hopefully *cross fingers and toes* he would want it..then i can move over the weekend...then i'll have germaine's company!! sighz..that's just if things work out...and recently,that doesn't seem to be the way things are going...argh...
 
han wei still in bad mood...kinda affected me a little...very teary these days...little bit of wrong i burst out crying like a burst water pipe. geez..i am getting far too emotional.
 
okie,gotta cook dinner. more food...argh..thank god i am drinking no fat milk (as in less than 0.2% fat means no fat...that's what the label says). and i am motivated to exercise. and hopefully,the motivation doesn't fizzes out in like a week...
 
missing han wei so much now. when i need him most,he can't be by my side. another irony in my life?
 
as delta goodrem is singing on my comp right now,"all i know is i'm lost without you, i'm not gonna lie. all i know is i can't be strong without you, i need you by my side".
 
lao gong,hao xiang ni!! *sob*