i think i should change the name of my blog to "Depressed" instead. cos almost every blog i've posted is abt how sucky my life is...and i dun think there's any way i can see any change in my life in the near future..
on thursday at clinic, my patient fell. considering that he has a stroke and cannot support himself well, a fall is not totally unexpected...but, he fell because me and my partner (Julie) simlutaneously took our eyes off him for like 2 seconds while he was sitting on the edge of the bed..the next thing we know,he was on the floor. in a spilt second, i see myself staying back in melbourne during november to redo my clinics..unable to to celebrate my bday in sg..and in that spilt second,i feel like the lousiest person on earth...and right now,i still feel lousy.
in addition, everyone who came to view my apartment all rejected. seems like i am stuck here for the rest of the semester. sighz...and with all the assignments coming up...i feel like i'm in a hot air balloon that has been punctured by a flock of birds..and i am dropping all the way down, without parachute...and about to land on a busy freeway with cars zooming in both directions.
in other words, die die liaoz lor..
only good news this week? well, han wei is officially on leave and going to start school in abt 1 week's time..so he's in a good mood now...which helps to elevate my mood a little. at least he's happy...which takes a small load off me...
went for bodypump on friday with germaine and esther...an exercise class designed to test the endurance and perserverance of superhumans. by the time we are lifting the barbell to train the shoulder muscles, my pectorals and lats are screaming in agony, my quads are quivering and my calves are shaking from fatigue. the next day, i woke up with horrendous aches in my quads and pecs..and today, they are still aching...in fact, they were aching more than yesterday. nothing surrpising cos my DOMS always peak at around 2-3 days after exercising.
all in the effort to tone up so i can look nice and slim when i go back sg...in the effort to boost whatever self esteem i have left after my patient fell...in the effort to try and become stronger so that if a patient ever falls on me again *touchwood*, i have enough strength to hold him/her up...or at least if he/she falls onto me,i won't get crushed to death.....
really wonder what's gonna come up for me in the weeks to come....more crap? some good things?
i am not holding my breath for the good things...all i can do is to try and brace myself for all the s*** that is gonna be thrown my way.
was talking to germaine on MSN and she told me that i have to focus more on the positive things in life..like staying over at her place,she coming to stay over,han wei calling me,han wei being happy etc...
not that i dun appreciate little good things happening in my life.i am glad that my life is not totally falling apart...
it's just that,right now,i am trying to so hard to keep my life together...getting so tired of trying to make some sense out events going on in my life...
and last but not least,exhausted from trying to resume some sort of balance in my life.
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