Hmm..I wonder how many people actually reads this blog...Got a nice surprise a couple of months ago when SY congratulated me on my pregnancy even though I haven't announce on FB...turns out she still reads my blog! =D

Anyway, no matter who is reading or I am just ventilating on my little piece of cyberspace, this blog has accompanied me for almost 10 years, from uni days till now...
The blog saw me go through homesickness, lovesickness and disillusionment from work...
It has become a part of me, which I am guilty of neglecting time and again
But when things get really tough, random typing here always make me feel that I can breathe easier, and soldier through the difficult times

Recently, I have become a hormonal mess of emotions...
And after much struggle, I have decided that the only place which I can shout out all my troubles is right here, on my blog.

Many things have happened over the past 1 month...things which for now I would prefer to still not announce on cyberspace...
But the one thing which I really cannot hold it in anymore...
In my wedding speech, I mentioned that my elder brother is always there when I needed him...
Little did I know that less than 6 month later, he make me want to take back those words..
Because despite my 'call' for help...in fact, despite my mother's call for help...he did not step up and be there when we needed him.
I though he would be the one person whom I can count on in times of need...
Because previously, that's the kind of person he was...

I guess marriage really does change a person...
Now that he has his own family...his parents and sister are no longer part of his life...

I'm upset..and so disappointed by his irresponsible behavior that I am having alot of difficulty accepting his lack of concern for his parents...

Maybe he has his reasons...there might be alot of other things happening in his life which he has to deal with...
And he is not alone..
His only sister is always dealing with things happening...
So why does he get to take a time-out from caring for his parents?

Life will throw all kinds of curveballs at anyone, anytime, anywhere...
We don't get a choice...we can try to dodge, or we can just face it head on because we can...

I am no heroine...
I am learning to deal with the curveballs and lemons that is being thrown into my path...
I don't do a good job everytime...but at least, I try.
And for that, I give myself a pat on my back...
And with that, I shake my head in disappointment at my first friend and role model in my life.

Gor, where are you when we needed you?
Do you really not care about us anymore?
Is it really that hard to phone home?
Is it really that far to ride your motorbike to BB and visit your parents?
Is it really that difficult to type a reply when your sister sends you an SMS for help?

I've dealt with many forms of disappointment...
But this time round, it depresses me and hurts the most...