What do I want?

WHAT do i want?

I wish I know how to answer the question...

Then maybe I won't feel so trapped when people ask me the question...

So many things which I want that I am not going to get
And now, I no longer care what I want

Because I've lived so long not getting what I want,
And never having what I want means I won't miss not having it...

Or so I tell myself..

Someone told me that if I don't say what I want, then I won't get it..
Someone also told me that I have to go figure out what I want...

I only know what I don't want..
But that's not good enough, is it?

Because if I can't get what I want, I get upset and it affects people around me...

How about abit of a paradigm shift?

I'm upset now because I'm not getting what I want,
But because I am getting what I don't want...
And people are affecting me by giving me things which I do not want

Makes sense?

At least it makes perfect sense to me...

So pardon me for always finding ways and means to avoid..
Rather than spending the effort on achieving..
Because in my world, not getting what I don't want...
Is perhaps the one thing I want which I can properly verbalize...
And the one thing which I actively work to achieve...