One-liners to break the monotonous day...

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.


Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve