growing up...
ah..the pain and disillusionment that comes after the excitement and anticipation
but we all go through it...in fact, most of us are still going through it...

i've always wondered what makes a person grow up...
personally, i felt i grew up the most during my JC and overseas studies.

the 2 years in JC opened the doors to so many possibilities denied during sec school..
even things as simple as piercing my ears (yes, i got them pierced at 16 years old) and growing long hair...
then first time putting on contacts, wearing braces blah blah blah
and there were family factors too...to sum up, i had to do help out with a fair bit of house-stuff while trying to score As, not flunk GP, get S papers and not flunk them, and finally to get a scholarship...
i grew up alot...probably accumulated all that was supposed to be done so in sec school years in the 2 years of JC life...
the 2 years in Hwa Chong were possibly my happiest days after PSLE...

then 4 years in melbourne, albeit frequently 'interrupted' with vacations in sunny Singapura, accelerated the growing process...of course, LDR played a major role in shaping who i have become...
first need to learn to take care of myself, my apartment, my studies...
then gradually learning to take care of others...then learning that others can take care of themselves
learning to live with a housemate...
learning to plan road trips (ok, not plan..more like not be a hindrance on road trips)..
learning to have fun...first time clubbing, first time ski-ing, first time watching footy
learning to get over heartbreak...
learning to pour my heart out to my parents (esp my mum)
learning to cope with expectations...disappointments
i learnt alot...grew alot...all these i brought back with me and into my first 'official' job

of course, i've grown a fair bit since starting work...

i've learnt that sometimes my best is just not enough (but hey, that's my best so no regrets) and sometimes, what i think is not enough is more than sufficient (pleasant surprise!)

i am still learning how to apply empathy in a clinical setting...and then hopefully to my personal life

i've figured out that every job holds its pros and cons, risks and benefits...and i've learnt to accept the cons and focus on the pros; reap the benefits and try to avoid the risks...

and so many more lessons i've learnt...mostly in the (very very) hard way...

but today, i wonder if people go through the same kind of growth?
of course not...cos we have different lives and therefore different kinds of experience
so....
how do we know if it's time to 'prod prod' and say 'grow up!'
when is the right time to sit and listen to woes, when is the right time to snap your fingers and tell them 'wake up! grow up! this is life!'

unfortunately, my patience seem to be rather lacking these days..
sometimes, i just want to snap at somebody when that person is not making sense/being childish/refusing to grow up...

but right now...
as i sit here and reflect on my own journey...
i wonder...
am i even qualified to say "GROW UP"?
have i grown up enough to be 'speaking words of wisdom', especially to my peers...?

something for me to ponder about...
for the next 2 weeks of HL...

~right wrist is not sore...or so i try to convince myself~