there are times in life when one has to make a decision whether to be the good person or the bad one...
to be a saint or the devil...
to be goody-two-shoes or the rebellious one...

there are many times when i dunno which one i am...
trying hard to be one, usually ends up being the other...

like a typical cartoon where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other...
each whispering into one ear...
do this...do that...
be this..be that...
think this...think that...

i dunno how other people resolve such situations..
usually i just end up burying my face into my crying kaki (a.k.a. my bolster)
then fall asleep and try to forget the whole situation in the morning...

but sometimes...
some scenarios just refuse to go away...
like that nagging ache in my neck that comes and goes...
when you thought that it's all good..
the whole thing comes back and haunts u again...
and then the whole 'angel-devil' fight resumes...

emotionally drained...
really very drained...
too many things are happening at the same time...
too much pretence is needed...
and in the end, all i gain is a very wet bolster at night...

life's unfair...
gain some, lose some...
in the end, being the good girl doesn't mean i am right...
and being bad might be a necessary evil deed...

i just hope that whatever that happens...
minimal number of people gets hurt...
minimal amount of time wasted...
minimal drops of tears shed...
and that things will just fall into place...
before it all becomes jumbled up again...

~gret is really tired~