another friday...
another night by the river...
this time...with an old friend...
talking about shared memories...
laughing about the past...
wondering about the future...
a strange connection that seem to exist...
when a silence is as comfortable as talking to each other...
yet another peaceful friday night...

home is now quiet...
with JC singing from my computor...
i sat back...and pondered...
about too many things i shouldn't think about
and about the things i have been thinking too much about...
累不累，睡不睡？
yes..i am tired...
caught only 6 hours sleep before waking for work this morning...
but...my mind is awake and working...way too active...
and it's way too hot to lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling..
that seems to be what i am doing most of the nights...
when sleep evades and i hypnotise myself with the blankness of my ceiling...
so empty...so white...
as i drift off to yet another restless sleep...
the emptiness remains in my heart...
while the whiteness is replaced by the dark realms of strange dreams and flashbacks...
it's been way too long since i had a good night's sleep...
i can't remember the last time my head hits the pillow and i fall asleep...
but..i can remember the last time i fell asleep with a smile on my face...
just one week ago...
but now...
it feels like a faraway dream...
in fact...
everything that happened one week ago feels like a dream...
and everything that happened this week...
feels far too real...
i wanna escape...
***************************************************
暧昧 - 杨丞林

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情
还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多 是我还是你
我很不服气 也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽停在这里

用一首歌，写出自己的心情。
当初学了‘暧昧’这个词，
却从不了解当中的意义。
知道它的意思，却不明它所带来的波浪，
足于淹没我的世界。
或许是因为自己太会想像，
所以才得一直面对自己的挫败感。
也许是因为我对一切想得太多，
所以才总是认为结局不如心里所想。
美梦成真？
我还敢奢求梦成真吗？
梦中的暧昧，甜蜜，
梦外的暧昧，苦涩。
梦里梦外的暧昧，让我辗转难眠。
一个影子，缠绕了我的思绪。
剪不断，理还乱。
想要快刀斩乱麻，结果却是自己无法自拔。
所以，我现在真的好委屈。
而最可悲的是，暧昧是我的感觉，我的委屈。
你是怎么想的呢？
我没有勇气去问。
只好就这样在委屈里找寻一个答案，
等待的游戏，又开始了。