“单纯的欣赏叫‘喜欢’
所以，喜欢一个人是快乐的。。。。。。
无法克制地想占有，称之为‘爱’
所以，爱一个人却是痛苦的。。。。。。
或许，
作为一个暗恋者
会比那些相恋者要快乐许多。。。。。。” - 黄米露 〈暗恋者〉

is it true?
if having a crush is better than being in love...
then why do i feel this emptiness...this ache...this despair...?

i dunno who came up with the term 'crush'...
but i think it describes exactly how i feel...
'crushed'...under the weight of one's feelings...
'crushed'...when the other party consistently remains oblivious...

“如果只要耐心地等候，便可等到你喜欢我，那么就算耗费掉我整个青春年华也是值得的；只是有谁能保证，这不会是一场空等待？也许直到我白发苍茫，还是听不见你说一句‘喜欢你’。尽管如此，在我苦涩的青春里，你是那唯一而且美好的回忆！” - 黄米露 〈暗恋者〉
**************************************
mmm...the book i am reading now is making me feel *bleah*
no matter how much i tell myself that it is just a phase...
that eventually i'll get over it...and the sun will shine once more...
but as the gray clouds gather
and the rain starts to fall...
i really really wonder...
will i ever...
be able to let myself...
fall in love...
again...?

okie..something on a happier note...
went to watch 'i not stupid too' on tues with YH
so fun to go out after work...
though my weary face probably din show my enthusiasm for the movie...haha
the movie was good...
teared 3 times leh...one time even got tear roll down my cheeks
dinner was mac's chicken 饭-tastic! so yummy!
and it felt good just to be out and about after work...
instead of at home nua-ing in front of tv...
thank u, YH, for watching the movie with me!

today went out for lunch at this indian-vegetarian-fastfood restaurant near ttsh
it's the last day of this volunteer (J) who had been helping me and my mentor
she is going back to perth this weekend for her 2nd year in physiotherapy
lunch was yummy...but there was too much food!!
we couldn't finish..and i watched in dismay and guilt as we left the restaurant
at the amount of food left uneaten...
well..at least i finished my masala dosai....
but the servings was really HUGE lah! i got a shock when i saw the dosai
it's the length of the tray lor!!
but..it was fun...and good...and will post pics if J remembers to send me...

then somehow, the conversation turned to
"how to make guys take notice of u"
so my mentor shared some of her 'secrets'
cos, well..she met her husband when he was a HO and she was a new physio in the ward!
and in the midst of laughing and teasing my mentor...
i come to the following conclusions
1) guys are hint-resistant/hint-repellants. they just DUN GET IT!
2) girls who are cheery and fun are more attractive
3) girls should never, ever make the first move...(a mistake which i've learnt the hard way...)

anyway...my mentor has taken an active interest in my love life. she is actually looking out for guys who might be suitable for me *faint*
oh well..so that's to sum up my life in the past 2 days...

and in the meantime...
i am going back to read my book...
and wallow in my misery and loneliness again...
SIGH...