parents can be really strange sometimes. they do things that are for your own good, but still, you can really fustrated at them. argh...parents...

called home yesterday to tell my parents about MOH's reply...somehow, my mum didn't sound too happy when i told her...now i kinda feel bad cos i dunno if she was just jealous or she really don't want me to go. sighz...oh, and did i mention that my brother is not feeling well and was hospitalised over the weekend...yet my parents didn't think it was serious enough to inform their daughter obliviously having fun down in aussie-land. argh...even though iknow that even if they tell me, i cannot fly back to singapore and visit my brother, it's still nice to be kept informed. sometimes...i feel like i've been physically and emotionally isolated by my family since coming to melbourne. just like last year...when my mum was hospitalised and my dad didn't tell me until she got discharged. scared the crap out of me...

and this is probably why i cannot see myself working overseas. not unless my parents come with me, or until they are gone from this world (which by then, i'll probably have other reasons to stay in singapore such as a family of my own). i cannot stand spending each day wondering if i would miss something important happening back home...and if *touchwood* someone passes away or is seriously ill back home, i'll be worried sick and guilty sick away in a foreign land.

sighz...hope my brother is feeling much better..and would completely recover soon. poor guy now has to stay home and do nothing cos he is still weak. then again, he probably needs the break anyway...

to hansen: please rest well and take care of yourself okie? don't let papa mama worry..and don't let your sister worry...Get Well Soon!!

as i said yesterday, my 'floating act' has ended and i've crash-landed back into reality.

and that big grin from yesterday has somehow disappeared into unknown realms...

suddenly, that europe trip seems too far away...and somehow, i keep feeling that my mum really don't want me to go....maybe cos she'd rather i spend time with her in singapore or malaysia...

i'm torn...i dunno what to do...
life is never easy eh? i knew that all along...i just never knew how difficult it is...