exhaustion...throbbing headache...pins+needles in left arm...sore eyes...stiff neck...frozen toes and fingers

and a hint of a sore throat...

and not forgetting that seething anger within me...slowly burning a hole in my already-tattered patience and tolerance.

killing me from inside is my own sense of failure
torturing me from outside is my own incapability to deal with life, in general.

like a poison spreading through my body, contaminating every single cell.
that sense of doubt
unsure of what i can do,
unsure of what i should do.

i want my mummy...
i want my bolster...
i want my queen-sized bed...

who really knows what i feel?
and who really cares?
who really wants to know how i am?
and who just ask for the sake of asking?

i want too many things...
and i probably need even more...
i hold on to everything, unable to let go
grappling with the fine balance in life
trying to take on more,
unwilling to let some go.

need to learn to forget...
need to understand that some things...some people
are just not worth my time and effort
need to learn to take things less seriously
and need to realise that being single
is part of life
part of being human
part of the suffering i have to go through
so that i can learn and grow...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
舍得，舍得... ...有舍才有得。