there's something abt a couple cooking together in the kitchen that tugs at my heart...and with that happening in my apartment kitchen, i chose to stay in my room rather than to stay and watch with my heart gently being torn apart.

Jay Chou is now on my TV, singing 园游会..a good song for the lovey couple cooking pasta and lamb chops. lovey dovey song..lovey dovey atmosphere...*sigh* at least i am not that affected as i was in the past...maybe cos i'm just too drained. it sure it's hard work trying to conceal emotions behind my very transparent exterior. too tired to feel envy, too tired to feel sad...

basically, too tired for anything...

where do i escape to? my room...my fantasies...my dreams...aside from my room, no intruders are allowed in the other 2 worlds. my room is no longer the safe haven it used to be...but it is here in my room, i can stare at my desktop wallpaper and let my imagination run amok...here in my room, i can lie on my bed, fall alseep and go into my dreams.

but, as the old saying go: 躲得了意一时，躲不了一世。i still live in the real world...and i still have to face the facts in life.

it's so easy to say "be happy"...but doing it is a huge task for me. trying to be happy makes me stressed...and when i'm stressed, i get upset...which defeats the purpose of trying to be happy yeah? but if i dun try, i dunno how long would i stay trap in this state.

no one says life is easy...but when has it gotten this difficult?