friends like to play devil's advocate.

because there is a perverse sense of satisfaction seeing ur fren squirm, or just having a good laugh at ur fren's weird expressions, or to watch ur fren go all confused and then producing the magic solution (hence making urself feel like some miracle worker?)

i've had a few tries being one myself. and sometimes, it helps the situation.

sometimes, it just make things so much worse, u hate urself for doing it.

now, i am perhaps the "victim" of too many advocates of the devil. it's like seeing myself in the worst possible light. the evil side, the dark side, the inhumane side, the vulnerable side, the insecure side. throw in some fear and self consciousness, and what's left is a girl too confused, too lost...no one to turn to...not even those whom she has trusted before.

nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. wounds lay in the open, raw and exposed. too many of them, too much pain.

so please, have mercy on me. and quit rubbing salt onto them.