for germaine

a special entry for the very special girl in my life - my dearez housmate.

girl, do you know i am so so happy for u?
but i guess i haven't been appearing so on the outside,
with my depressed moods and endless ramblings about being lonely and having no self esteem.

girl, do you know i love seeing u having a smile all day?
even though u are stressed and sleep-deprived,
i feel good coming home and seeing u greet me with a smile.
a smile that comes from true happiness bubbling up from your heart.

girl, do you know i am so scared of losing you?
although i dun have the right to feel that way, there is a new sense of insecurity shrouding me.
our "quality" time has been compromised, and i miss those times when it was just the two of us,
pigging out in front of the tv, and sobbing over soppy dramas.

girl, do you know how much laughter i've shared with you?
and do you know that you've made my most terrible times so much more bearable?
because you were there to hold my hands and let me cry,
because you were always willing to give me a much needed hug.

all in all, girl...
i wanna tell u although i am still in pain, still hurting from whatever that has happened,
i am truly sincerely very happy for you.
so pardon my cranky moodswings,
and please give me time...
i can't promise i'll be completely normal again...
but i'll try and not be such a pain in the neck. thank you.

so, immerse yourself in you newfound happiness.
and dun feel bad for "leaving me in the lurch"
because you didn't, and you dun have the responsiblity of "saving" me
let me bear my pain, and not let it affect you.
cos girl, the last thing i wanna do,
is to be the one who take that smile away from you.