hardworking brain killing me alive

i really think too much.my brain is too active...i can't stop thinking.there doesn't seem to be a time which my brain is not working.

if i am studying,that's quite alright.i need my brain to work.

but when i really want to relax,like just before i go to sleep,the millions and zillions of thoughts flying at lightning speed through my head is causing me precious sleep. i am sleep deprived cos my brain works too much :"<

everything in moderation. that's a principle i try to follow these days. when it comes to food,exercise,studying,fun etc,i can moderate it well. but when it comes to stopping my hyperactive brain from working,i am at a loss.

and besides the sleep deprivation,i've been getting regular headaches that last almost the whole day.i feel tired and lousy all the time.it's as if the 'stop' button in my head is malfunctioning.

suddenly remember the final scene from the movie "Speed",when the train in the subway cannot stop cos the controls are damaged. then in the end keanu reeves and sandra bullock crashed the train out of the subway and onto the pavement before the train came to a stop.


is that what's gonna happen to my brain?if i really can't stop thinking,does that mean one day,i would just crash to a stop?

han wei always tell me i think too much.germaine says the same. and i know i think too much. but neither of them can tell me how to stop thinking too much.i wish i know.i will myself to stop thinking,only to end up thinking more...in the end,i seek shelter in my lecture notes.

might as well put my crazy brain to more constructive usage instead of wondering what's han wei doing..or why germaine never ask me to meet her and JS...or whether i'd been happier if i had gone on the dandenong trip...or how to stop myself from feeling down and left out...or am i lousy friend...or does anyone actually remember i exists...blah blah blah

but there's only so much lecture notes i can read.get sick of studying too.

my eyes are dry and tired.i need to sleep. and yet i know,the moment i snuggle below my quilt,my brain would kick in to make me feel fully awake again.

i need a brain transplant. i'd rather i am stupid and has poor memory than to have this crazy overactive brain that is killing me alive by depriving me of rest and sleep.

what's the point of having a good memory and remembering so many tiny details? i can't even enjoy the most simple luxury any human being can afford:a good night's sleep.