u know how sometimes when u wake up in the morning and feel lousier than when someone stuff an entire chicken up ur ass...and u realise that for that day,u are going to feel lousy?yup,that's how i am feeling now.
CRAP
one word to sum up my emotions. i am completely stressed out over moving out,assignments,clinics etc etc etc....sometimes,i think i would just collapse under the pressure and never get up...
and sometimes,i wish i never get up.those times when i wish i am dead so that i dun have to face all the problems in my life.
and during those times,i scare myself more than anyone else.when the knife in my kitchen look so tempting to use it on myself than to use it on the chicken fillet sitting on my chopping board. at the bringe of losing my control over myself...at the edge of going insane.
i wish there's an easy way out.an easy way to solve all the problems i have now...all the problems i would face in the future...to somehow make time go faster so that i can be back in sg sooner...back in the land where i feel belonged,back into the loving arms of han wei,back to my home with my queen size bed and my mummy's yummy food.
i feel like a meltdown of my brain is in the process.like i am going to just burst into flames and die or something. i feel choked up with tears all the time.the kind of feeling u get when u want to cry but trying not to.
i am scaring myself...i am so afraid i'd lose self control and do something i dun wanna do to myself.
somebody,pls help me.
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