went to vic market with edwin and jingfung this morning. suddenly it struck me that this is the second last time i would be going to vic market with members of the college square kaki gang. from a strong team of 8,we dwindled to 3. and we broke the tradition of walking to and fro vic mkt.we took tram there and back. although i know it's not really a grand tradition or anything,part of me felt kinda lost and sad that this little activity we used to do in a group is now becoming lost among the departures of others.
although i know i have more to look forward to in the next semester and next year,moving out of CS is definitely going to be not as easy as i thought it would be. i am so looking forward to moving in with Germaine, but in the back of my head and deep in my heart,i know i am going to miss CS very much. despite the lousy administrative staff and sucky phone/internet connection, CS is the first place i settled into since coming to melbourne. i've made many close friends here in CS. we had BBQs, potlucks, surprise bday celebrations (which for one of us did not turn out to be a surprise at all cos the bday boy was already expecting us to celebrate his bday for him :P). we walked to vic mkt every saturday morning..and we used to go out for lunch in town every saturday afternoon.we've been on trips together:great ocean road,grampians,puffing billy,cattle farm,philip island,strawberry farm,adelaide,tasmania...although not everyone is there at every trip,the fact is that we have wonderful memories together.
right now,sitting here in this apt that i am going to move out in july,i am caught in a web of conflicting emotions. somehow i wish i know what to do to make myself feel better. jingfung has been telling me that the dispersion of this group doesn't mean the end of our friendship,which i completely comprehend. nonetheless,i am not one good with separations,no matter how long the separation is.guess i was too secure when i was a baby,now all the separation anxieties kick in when i am old and haggard. sighz.
so i guess the inevitable has arrived.and i am trying to come to terms with the changes happening in my life. moving out of CS,moving with germaine, seeing two more friend leave melbourne,starting clinical blocks (and getting my own patients) etc etc etc...perhaps one day when i look back,i would laugh at my own cowardism and sentimentism. but right now,i am consumed by the miriad of emotions going through my head, and all i can do is to hang on real tight and hope that i would come out of this whirlpool in one piece.
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