I'm scared

I'm worried

I feel like I made a wrong turn and cannot make my way back to find the right route

No one has it easy...and no, I should not be wondering why my life sucks cos really, there are way worse problems than mine

Then, when caught in the midst of all these chaos, nothing makes sense anymore

And envy becomes the overwhelming emotion, most of the time

I never had the fear of future

Dread, yes

Uncertain, definitely

But afraid? This is the first time

I am very afraid of what lies ahead, and more importantly, I am very afraid of my own inability to cope

Not even aiming to thrive, just coping will be good enough

Everyday is a struggle to stay afloat of these churning negative emotions

I spend so much energy trying to push these emotions down that I now have none left to be positive

And that is the source of my fear

The lack of anticipation seem to indicate that there is nothing which I can look forward to

Which is why I feel I've taken a wrong turn somewhere

Fear is debilitating
It makes a person want to run away or hide forever