Oh dear...once again I've slipped into the habit of ignoring my blog :(

Well, considering that I barely get enough time to sleep, I guess blogging is one of the items in my 'No need to do then dun do' list haha

Let's see...4 months have passed..and in these 4 months, nothing much seemed to have happened. Nothing really significant..except that my little panda turned 1 year old!

On the work front, I have to say that I can't believe I lasted this long. Part of me wondered if I can switch to this pure admin role...and almost 5 months into this, I think I've made the transition rather smoothly. Do I see myself doing this in the long run.....?

Hmm...that is a question which I shall be pondering...

I do have to say that being a working mum (although I work part time) is tough.

The toughest part is when the other caregivers don't cooperate...no teamwork!

Simple example: In the morning, Jordon bathes xxm, I prepare breakfast while my mum supposed to feed xxm his breakfast.

For the last dunno-how-many weeks, I have to feed xxm his breakfast, and then rush to get ready to go to work. All because 外婆 can't get out of bed. By the time she waltzes her way into the living room, xxm has been fed and I am running around like a headless chicken, making sure that everything has been prepared for work.

Then after work, the moment I reach home, xxm follows me around. Wherever I go. And if I try to close the door to change out of my work clothes, he lets out a bloodcurdling wail of protest before banging on the door.

Same with a toilet break. It's very hard to pee when my son is screaming and crying 'MAMAMAMAMA' on the other side of the door.

And of course, once I reach home, it's like my parents will 'knock off' from their baby duties. Back to the computer or novel for them, while I try and settle everything by myself.

There are days when I can barely lift a finger to press the button for the lift, yet have to carry xxm around the house cos he won't stop crying.

Exhaustion doesn't quite cover the feeling I have.

I dunno how much longer I can tolerate this. A part of me really want to put xxm in childcare. Then everyone gets a little break when he's away. And that may help to ease the tension a little bit.

Not working is another alternative..but that just means I'll be at home all the time and have to shoulder the baby duties all by myself, full time.

That's a scary thought :(

I hope that xxm's unusual amount of activity will start to wind down a little as he grows older and start to enjoy reading...a little quiet time, even just 5 mins, is a luxury which I can only dream of.....

So, for now, my favourite time of the day is actually on the MRT ride home. Just me, myself and I. And if I am early enough, can even slip in a quick 10min shopping trip before heading home...

I just read the line I've typed...and that's really quite sad..and pathetic.

Ok, enough of the depressing stuff...

I just have to remember: What doesn't kill me will make me stronger!