I am in a spiteful mood
The kind of mood which will cause me to feel ashamed later on
But for now, I don't care.

Perhaps, nobody is at fault.
Everyone can justify for why they did it,
And for some time, I've learnt to accept their reason as it is
No questions asked.

Today...
Or rather, this week...
For some reason I cannot pin-point
I am not accepting things as they are.

Some will say that I am forgotten because I don't make an effort to be remembered
Some will say that I am forgotten because people do forget.
I admit, I forget things too.
I forget to bring my handphone every now and then
I forget to hand in assignments every now and then
But, I do not forget people.
If I said I forgot somebody, I'm lying.
Yes, I'm a liar too.
Because to me, every person who enters my life deserves to be remembered.

So in that sense, I guess I am not significant enough to be remembered
And in that sense, I refuse to be pacified with any reasons thrown my way for not remembering me

In a very dark moment, I kind of wish I don't have to be remembered
Just leave and everyone can be happy with not having to remember one more person
Being left out is a common occurence in my life
You are going to argue that this probably means there is something wrong with me
That's why I am so forgettable.

Perhaps, it is true.
I am not someone who is the life of party nor the brain of the group
I am horribly difficult to get along with
And terribly hard to communicate
I have a bad temper and cries easily.
So, forget about me.
And if you do forget, please do so consistently.
Please do not occasionally remember, then sometimes forget.
That makes me feel more unwanted,
Like I have done something wrong and that is why I am being forgotten.

If you never remember me, then I know I don't have to expect anything.
I can do everything, without feeling that I am lacking and therefore, I have been forgotten.

The hurt runs deeper than you realized.
But I do not blame you.
I know it is my fault that I am forgotten.
Just don't expect me to laugh it off and join in the fun when you remember to ask me.
Because I can't.
And now, because I don't want to.

~poisoned by spite~