it's been almost 2 months since my last blog entry...
dunno why i've been getting lazy with blogging..probably because i dun get much time to sit alone in front of my comp
so whatever alone time i have, i use it to play comp games (new laptop mah, so must make full use of it :P)

but today...
somehow...
comp games do not tempt me..
and i just dun feel like doing anything but let my fingers run free over the keyboard

it's been a rather stressful 2 months...with more stress coming on...

most of the stress comes from planning the Taiwan trip in late May
yes, i'm planning a free-and-easy, semi-backpacking trip to Hualien (eastern Taiwan) with my parents and MJ
you would think that it would be a not-so-difficult task considering that MJ is a student and dad is not working, therefore should at least have the time to help out...

well, at least that's what i thought *stupid Gretel*

"where got time to go onto the Internet and sort out mundane things like flights, transport, accomodations, sightseeing locations etc etc etc? these kind of unimportant things, let the woman (i.e. MOI) sort out...we, men, have more important tasks (honours thesis/assignments OR housework) at hand"

fine fine...since i am apparently the one with more free-time (although i am the only one holding a FULL TIME job among the 4 of us), i shall sort these stuff out. At least help out with making some decisions?

随便!你决定就好

the most famous words they use to reply to anything i ask them..(not just the men, my mum included)

good thing i started the planning early...
at least now the flights are sorted out...
and accomdation for day one is sorted out...(it's a start.....)
where to go, what to do, how to go is in the process of being sorted out...

this is going to be the last time i am going on a tour with these 3 people together...
(at least that's what i tell myself)
GAH!!!

it didn't feel like i have to handle such difficult tasks when i last went to Taiwan...maybe cos YQ was doing most of the work (sorry YQ!!!我知道错了，报应也来了)...and maybe cos going overseas with 5 other females is much more easier than with 2 males...

well, still got about 1.5 months to go..hopefully things will start falling into place and the trip will not be too haphazard...
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一步步走下来，觉得好像已经习惯了自己的日子。
我行我素，不用去在分析另一个人的想法。
不喜欢自己的情绪被别人拉扯着，不喜欢一直失望，不喜欢前思后想。

想念当初一个人时，不用牵挂别人的时候。
要走，就走。
要留，就留。
不用问，不用讨论，不用等。
我就是一个人，要做的，我就做。
不需要听到没做到的理由，
不用去压抑自己的要求。
不必要的，我选择不理会，没有人可以逼我。

现在，顾前顾后，左思右想。
结果，心还是痛了，人还是伤了。
等了又等，结局任旧还是一个‘等’。
失望后，还得勉强自己不要气馁，
再多一次机会，再等一等，等待承诺兑现的那一天。

觉得自己好无聊。
何必把自己搞到心力交瘁，换来的却是我从来没有想要的‘等’？
我不要等，不想等，不愿意等。

做不到，请承认做不到。
不可以，请坦诚不可以。
没办法，请直言没办法。

不要告诉我以后要怎么样，我们也许没有以后。
美丽的画面，只是空中楼阁。
实在的，是现在。

没有必要为我委屈求全。
委屈，也许现在感受不到。
时间久了，还是会原形毕露的。