first time working on a public holiday...
only half day...
the great part, is that i get to take taxi there and back...
cutting the travelling time from 1.75 hours to and fro..
down to less than one hour...
i need a car! think of the number of precious sleeping hours i'll get if i have a car...
*day dreaming
today is also like the first time i see ortho patients since my traumatising block at TNH
and, it was kinda hard trying to remember what exercises to do with the patients...
but, it was okie..
cos most of them are day 1 postop...in too much pain
and so, half my day was gone working...
came back home, cooked lunch...had lunch...
and then took a nap...mopped floor, did laundry..
and now, sitting here and feeling the effect of gravity on my eyelids...
this is what 4 weeks of bad sleep does to me...
i seriously need good quality sleep..
before my body start to respond by falling sick...
too much time spent tossing and turning...
too much time spent staring at the ceiling and wondering...thinking...pondering...
and...holding back those tears...
i will not cry...or so i tell myself...but those tears keep coming...
and they keep falling...
it's been too long...
and...this morning...for some weird reasons...
i realised that the most painful sound in the world..
is the sound of hopes being dashed...
so soft...so quiet...that the only person who hears it...is myself...

heavy rain pouring, harmonised by JC's singing
我不要再想，我不要再想。我不，我不，我不要再想你。
lulling me to a deep sleep...
filled with fretful dreams...
and images of the past...of the happy times i've lost
i woke up to the sound of rain drops pattering against my windows...
to the voice of Jolin singing
别问你的痛，要怎么解脱。多情的人注定伤得比较久。
and as i stare at the water streaming down the window panes...
i felt it once again...
that familiar ache..
that constant thought swirling in my head...
that slow, tickly feeling of my tears streaming down my cheeks...

now the rain has stopped...
the tears has stopped...
but the ache remains...the thought still occupying every corner of my mind...
as i wonder again and again...
if i'll ever get used to that 'longest' distance between us
or...
if that distance will ever be diminished...