'to love someone else, u have to first love yourself'

i've heard of this so many times...
which so many people have told me 'IT'S TRUE!'
and so, i've come to the conclusion that...
i probably can never love someone else...
because i have trouble loving myself...

that is..if loving myself means being able to look at my reflection in the mirror and feel that i am 'emanating' beauty from within.

*bleah* just typing those words out make me wanna puke my guts out.

and so...
i probably can conclude that in this life...
by the time i learn how to love myself...
i'll be a demented old lady living in a nursing home...
and so...dementia would allow me to forget who i am...
and thus, i can love myself..and probably everyone else...

darn...
i am in my 'lookingatcouplesmakemyheartache' mood...
sighz...love mysef love myself...
how to love myself when all i want is to bury myself in a hole...
crap...
i think i need sleep...
and i think...
i need a paper bag to put over my head when i go out.