night time. people have been telling me that depression sets in at night cos that's when everything slows down and it's quiet. when i get the time to think and ponder...when my brain goes into super-hyperactive mode.
and i think it's true. because apart from the fact that i am MSN-ing with 2 people, i have no reason to stay awake. except my brain is refusing to relax and go into sleep mode. it's gone into a spiral of re-visiting the past and zooming into the future. thinking of the "if onlys" and "what ifs". things i dun wanna think abt at almost 1am.
我的心, 我的情, 我的致命伤.
心已碎, 情已绝. 只剩泪两行.
是寂寞, 是忧愁, 看前途茫茫.
不回头, 不后悔, 不给予希望.
looking back causes too much pain...looking ahead instills too much fear. i seem to have lost all confidence in myself. dunno how to get myself back on track. a furiously blushing girl who can't get a sentence out properly isn't exactly an image i want to remain in. i need confidence+self-esteem+self-image boost. too bad they dun add that as boosters for Boost Juice.
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