lucky?

i've been told that i am lucky since the day i've arrived in melbourne.

lucky that i got a scholarship...lucky that i got to study overseas...lucky this...lucky that.

so why do i feel so damned under-prvileged now?

yeah yeah,i know,ungrateful idiot that i am...i should be glad that i've got what alot of other people can't get.

but i am missing simple stuff. like being able to eat the food my mum cook...being able to walk around in tshirt and shorts...being able to spend weekends with my boyfriend...

worse part of all is,i DIN even want to come overseas to study.i have NO ambitions...i just wanted a simple life. not stuck here in a cold,windy country where the only enjoyment i get is watching The OC on TV.

so if someone else wants this life, PLEASE,take it from me.

but,nah,that's not gonna happen izzit?

as the saying goes,"grass always greener on the other side". but i din even think the grass was greener here in the first place. only reason i came is to do physiotherapy...which now doesn't seem to worth all the tears and sadness i am going through.

maybe it's just PMS. i get depressed easily when my hormones go wild.

watever the reason is, i am upset...i feel lonely...and i wanna cry.

somebody,take this pain away from me please?