i have been deprived of good sleep for 4 consecutive nights.
1st night cos of my fight with han wei...
2nd night cos i feel so guilty starting the fight...
3rd night cos i was confused abt the whole situation...
and 4th night cos i was hoping and waiting for han wei to call...
and now,my eyes are burning...my head is aching...my neck is sore...and i am just DEAD TIRED.
the fact that i have to get up at 6.30am tomorrow morning and has one whole day of clinic to endure isn't helping.
right now,all i want is to crawl into bed,close my eyes and hopefully get at least a couple of hours of good sleep.
good sleep being defined as not waking up and feel like i've never slept at all...as not having millions of thoughts running through my head...as not having to think if i've lost han wei..not wondering if han wei would call...
another little luxury that i've taken granted for until i've lost it.seems like it's really human nature to only appreciate the things that u've lost. sometimes i really wonder if i fall really sick and nearly die...would that make people around me appreciate me more? it's as if everyone needs a wake-up call before they realise that someone/something is important...
though i know the chance of me falling really sick is like one in a zillion...i have trouble just catching a flu bug from the dozens of people sneezing and coughing around me...how am i gonna fall really sick?
okie,i am starting to sound abit psycho here.
went for a run outside yesterday..thot it would be good idea cos the weather was pretty nice...it was pretty ok..until both of my ears start to develop sharp pain on the inside...it's like having 2 knives being continuously driven into my ear. the pain merge in the centre of my eyes and shoot right up into my cerebral hemispheres. after enduring the pain for like 3 mins,i gave up and slowed down to a stroll...but the pain remained..and then to my worst horror, my blood sugar level dropped and i felt faint and weak.
so there i was, walking along royal parade with sharp shooting pain in my ears and head and wobbly legs that could hardly support me...i thot i was gonna pass out from the pain or just faint from not having enough glucose going to my brain...and when both the pain and the dizziness peaked, i thot i was gonna die.
alot of thoughts went through my head...like are the passerbys gonna help me by calling ambulance? would my parents fly over to see me? if i am in danger of losing my life,would han wei fly over to see me? would anyone visit me at the hospital??
i know i was paranoid..but i really felt like i was gonna just collapse. but the pain did ease..and my body finally realised there's not enough glucose going to my brain and started utilising some energy stores..so i felt slightly better and managed to stroll my way back to my apt.
i guess being sleep-deprived has thrown my body's homeostasis process all off track.maybe it is time to see a doc or something regarding my sudden dropping in blood sugar levels...
okie,gotta get some work done and crawl into my bed in 2.5 hours time. *yawn*
oh,please let me get some good sleep tonight. i can pass off as a china panda now.
and the bags under my eyes are big enough to hold those 10kg packs of potatoes they sell at vic market. *yawn*
1 comment:
hi gretel ! sorry to hear abt ur lack of sleep.. and of course i would hav gone to the hospital in any instant if something had happened to u. CHOI... *
hope u get better sleep tonight or else u'll really be sleep deprived forever. :| me starting to have eye bags too.. which is not good. see u tmr for body step! :)... and also body pump. hahaha. good luck to us n our bods..
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