friday is here.kinda feeling bored actually cos nothing to do except case presentation or assignments. actually in the library now. was trying to change the colour of my links to photos to a lighter colour..but after 30 mins of trial and error...all i got were errors. but if i move my mouse cursor over the links,they turn orange,so still can read lah hor? so sorry. html idiot like me dunno how to change it :P
today's weather is finally not too bad. the sun is actually out!but the wind is still freaking cold.ah well,can't expect too much from melbourne.i'm just glad that the sun is at least out for the morning and noon.
was on the bus on tuesday and heard this thing on the radio in the bus. the person was saying,"the 21 lessons in life. number one....." i sort of tune out until i heard the quote in my title.
surprisingly,i realised how often i "allow" others to ruin my day. be it a simple thing like "you've gained weight" to more serious stuff like "gretel,did you realise the patient almost fainted?",i always take it hard. maybe cos of my low self esteem? or maybe cause i always like to make a big fuss out of small minute details? or maybe cos i am just too sensitive?
when i first heard the quote,i wanted to laugh. because nobody is going to say "hey,XYZ,can i ruin ur day?" so how can i give someone permission to ruin my day? then i realised that the quote is trying to say that the only reason why someone's words can ruin my day is because i let the person's words get to me.a classic example of how DUH i can be huh?
it would be nice if one day someone say something nasty to me and i can actually go "ah, who cares?" that would be an ideal world..which unfortunately i dun live in, and which i think almost noone else does too. :P
in the past 2.5 years,i realised that i thrive on encouragement from others.i am not a good motivator of myself.in fact,i always end up discouraging myself. but if someone else gives me a boost,i'll really give all that i have. so when someone says something discouraging or even insulting,i take it really personal..and i take it really very hard. it takes like millions of "good job","well done","u can do it" to build my self esteem to an arbitiary value of +10...but just one simple "that's not good" can make the value crash to negative infinity (which is why it takes so much encouragement to build it up again).
so,morals of the story is
1)i need to be less concerned with how others think of me.
2)i need to learn how encourage myself
3)i need to be more able to take critism
wat a crappy entry. because i am in a crappy crappy mood.
back to case presentation.
tata!
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